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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to think I should have known about this in advance? Nursery. SEN. EHCP. Missed meeting.

32 replies

EHCP · 29/04/2021 13:47

My DS is 3 and has additional needs, an EHCP assessment has been conducted (initiated by the his SEN nursery with my support) and it was due to go to panel this morning, after which we would receive a decision on whether one will be granted.

I didn't hear anything by noon so sent an email to the nursery manager asking her whether she'd been updated as I hadn't.

She replied that she hadn't either, but also said DS was supposed to be seen on Monday by an outreach service who work with SEN provisions, as part of an EHCP assessment. They went into the nursery to see DS and a couple of other children. This visit was supposed to be completed ahead of the panel today. News to me.

Now my AIBU..

I wasn't made aware that this team were going to be seeing DS in nursery on Monday. Nobody told me a thing.

As it happened DS wasn't in on Monday as my OH who does the nursery run injured himself on Sunday afternoon. He called ahead and let them know DS wouldn't be in and why. The nursery manager said no problem at all and mentioned nothing about the visit.

Which brings me to today, she's telling me that him not being in on Monday could mean that any decision on the EHCP could be delayed until at least June when the outreach service can next go in to nursery see him.

If I'd been made aware of the visit I would have ensured DS got there by hook or by crook. As it stands I knew nothing.

AIBU to think I should have been made aware of something as important as this?

OP posts:
AntiSocialDistancer · 29/04/2021 13:48

I would be fuming! Fingers crossed it all goes through regardless.

AnneTwackie · 29/04/2021 13:49

Have you brought it up with the manager?

WhiskyIrnBru · 29/04/2021 13:50

You are most Def NBU

First hand experience, I know how long and tedious the process is and they absolutely should have told you so you could ensure your DS would be in (also a common courtesy to let you know if someone else is meeting with your child outside of nursery!)

Stichintime · 29/04/2021 13:51

I would try to speak to someone at the local authority direct, don't expect the nursery to work on your behalf, because obviously they're not up for the job.

Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 13:52

I spoke with the manager today over email and asked what was going on, she expressed her disappointment at DS missing the visit and said we'll just have to hope for the best. It very much feels like she's putting the blame on me for any delays.

I responded saying I wasn't even aware of the meeting and had they told me, he would have been there without a shadow of a doubt.

Terrible comms IMO.

OP posts:
insancerre · 29/04/2021 13:52

Sound like a breakdown in communication to me between the outreach service and the nursery
Can they not reschedule?

Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 13:54

I've also been in touch with the SALT therapist who conducted part of the assessment, she was unable to shed any light on the situation as she hadn't been updated either but assured me she'd reach me as soon as / if she found out.

I'm incredibly annoyed and frustrated on DS behalf who desperately needs this to go ahead. Without an EHCP he stands little chance of getting a place at the specialist school we've chosen Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 13:57

I've tried the only telephone number I can find for the L.A department for the EHCP's but it's just ringing out with no option to leave a message.

If I don't hear anything by 5pm today my next port of call will be to contact the educational psychologist who was central to the assessment.

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 13:57

Nursery says the next available time for the visit will be sometime in June.

OP posts:
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 29/04/2021 15:27

EHCP timelines are legal limits and unless there are very good reasons (examples set out in the SEND Code of Practice), they are not meant to exceed those deadlines (20 weeks total for a first EHCP). That's the theory, but obviously in practice they are delayed all the time. However, them saying he NEEDS to be seen by a certain team (then not telling you when that is) in order for them to do the plan on time is unlawful. I'd contact your local SENDIASS (google them) andthey should help.

Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 18:25

@LadyOfLittleLeisure

EHCP timelines are legal limits and unless there are very good reasons (examples set out in the SEND Code of Practice), they are not meant to exceed those deadlines (20 weeks total for a first EHCP). That's the theory, but obviously in practice they are delayed all the time. However, them saying he NEEDS to be seen by a certain team (then not telling you when that is) in order for them to do the plan on time is unlawful. I'd contact your local SENDIASS (google them) andthey should help.
Thank you, that's very helpful.

I've been trying to reach the dept of the L.A who process EHCP's all day and got nowhere. I'm assuming that because nobody got in touch with me to update me then the panel didn't go ahead.

Nursery manager said she would contact me if she heard anything and I haven't heard back from her either.

I've found the contact details for my local SENDIASS and will contact them first thing tomorrow.

This is all very disappointing.

OP posts:
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 29/04/2021 18:55

"This is all very disappointing" @EHCP I'm so sorry, welcome to the world of dealing with the LA SEN team Sad Next year you'll be having a similar battle about the provision not being provided and the annual review not being done. Dealing with my LA is actually the absolute bane of my life. I really hope your SENDIASS helps you. IPSEA are also good.

IceBearRocks · 29/04/2021 20:40

DS is 11 and we have been through so much. Unfortunately you've missed the target deadline ...its rubbish they didn't tell you but they usually want a child with no prep and in 'normal'circumstances.
Just because Dad had an issue...when in full time education...they would still expect that child to be in school.
Now you will have to wait for the June assessment.....and (I hate saying this) be so very happy the the Ed Psychologist is coming to you child because for dome children..
.that is the battle!!!!
Good luck x

shouldistop · 29/04/2021 20:59

Just because Dad had an issue...when in full time education...they would still expect that child to be in school.

The child isn't in full time education though.

TipperarygirlinLondon · 29/04/2021 21:09

I would see if you can make contact with your local authority Early Years team who should be able to support you. You should definitely been a advised of the meeting. Nursery are unquestionably in the wrong here.

Hankunamatata · 29/04/2021 21:10

Part of the echp assessment is visit to nursery/school often under short notice and not unusal for parents to find out after the fact to stop child being pre warned even accidentally.

MildredPuppy · 29/04/2021 21:19

How frustrating!

Do you know what this outreach was as it may not be key to being awarded an EHCP - it may have been more geared to advice that could be useful in an ehcp.

You say you had speech and language, do you know if an Educational Pyschologist has seen him? That might be enough for panel to agree.

Otherwise i think you can apply pressure on the LA to get an appointment before June by saying they havent properly assessed his needs in the timescale.

MildredPuppy · 29/04/2021 21:22

Ipsea model letter 7 might be appropriate

Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 21:35

DS has been assessed by a SALT therapist and an Ed psych, both appointed specifically to gather information for the EHCP and I've received copies of their completed reports.

The organisation that was supposed to see him at nursery was Drumbeat Outreach, they provide assistance and guidance to nurseries and early years settings with regards to children with SEN. They are also part of a SEN school for children with autism which we're hoping for DS to go after he leaves nursery.

His nursery work closely with drumbeat outreach as standard as it's a nursery predominantly for children with special needs, ie autism and learning disabilities. The nursery manager is in regular contact with them from what I'm told as she's often referred to asking them for advice on whatever it is at the time.

I had a voice note from the nursery manager this evening and she said she hasn't had any emails updating her about the EHCP but she did have a missed call from drumbeat outreach which may or may not be related to DS at all.

She said that because she's the one who requested the EHCP in the first place it'll be her they make contact with first, so I'm just to wait and hope she hears something tomorrow or Monday.

OP posts:
Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 21:39

I won't be waiting to hear from N.M I'll be chasing it up myself again from tomorrow, thank you for the suggestions on how to proceed.

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MildredPuppy · 29/04/2021 21:48

On another note, some caseworkers dont share a panels decision until the minutes are written up and have a chance to be called in, which can be a few days.

Original poster
EHCP · 29/04/2021 22:07

Hopefully that's the case, Mildred.

I was very Confused by what the nursery manager said this morning because as far as I was aware everything required was complete and we were ready for panel.

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HandforthParishCouncilClerk · 29/04/2021 22:12

We didn’t hear about DS’s EHCP outcome for days and it was good news so I wouldn’t worry so much about that part.

It’s really out of order from the nursery not to have communicated with you, but your SEN caseworker attached to the council is the one who should have made sure you knew about any EHCP related appointments.

If your DS is 3, don’t worry too much about the specialist school place yet- he presumably won’t go until next year in Sept so there’s still time for things to be worked out.

Original poster
EHCP · 30/04/2021 00:00

That's reassuring handforth, thank you (love the name btw)

your SEN caseworker attached to the council is the one who should have made sure you knew about any EHCP related appointments.

I haven't been introduced to them yet so don't know who they are unfortunately. The only professionals I've met with during the EHCP assessment (albeit over video call) have been the SALT, the ed psych and her supervisor.

DS turned 3 in January so I agree plenty of time left to get everything sorted. Fingers crossed.

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Original poster
EHCP · 04/05/2021 13:33

His EHCP has been awarded Smile

I could cry. Happy tears.

Can anybody tell me a little bit about how having one has helped your child(ren)?

I realise DS is very lucky to have one so young and I'm so grateful.

The main thing that springs to mind now is that he will be able to go to a special school, he would have never coped in mainstream.

OP posts: