Seriously let down....

[LLc2015]

Hi,

First post for me. I am Mid 30's and 2 years ago lost my partner of 8 years very suddenly to a heart attack. As you can imagine I was completely devastated and never thought I would ever be ready to move on

In January I met someone and over the next few weeks found myself enjoying his company and being with him so decided to give it a go. Everything was going well so 2 weeks ago arranged to meet my sister and her husband in the pub garden. Drinks were flowing nicely and we ended up back at my sisters house for more drinks. Fast forward a few hours and I woke up on the sofa after having dozed off. I went in to the kitchen and saw my sister and new partner kissing.

I am devastated that my sister would do this to me especially after everything I have been through over the last 2 years. She is blaming being drunk and he said he doesn't remember what happened. I was starting to be happy again and I feel like the two of them have sent me back to where I was two years ago.

In an ideal world I would forgive and forget both of them and just be happy again but how would I ever be able to trust them?

I can't help feeling that the bad things happen to me for a reason. Me and my sister were so close before and she helped me when I really needed her but I really cant understand why she would do this to me. Her husband seems to have let it go already so she is happy while ive lost another chance of being happy.

I am So sorry this has happened and no way do you deserve this. End your relationship with him now as if this can happen at the start of a relationship it bodes ill for the future. It is actually a lucky escape. I would also be reconsidering my relationship with my sister if this happened. Alcohol is no excuse and there is probably trouble in her marriage if husband cares so little about her behaviour. Please Stay strong you will be ok and will find someone more deserving of you

I’m so sorry that must feel like an awful betrayal when you’ve already gone through so much.

If you’ve been close with your sister previously, her behaviour was out of character and she’s been very apologetic then I’d forgive her an move on with her.

Your boyfriend isn’t worth a second look. Ditch him and be glad you found out what he’s like now not another year down the line.

Why are people so utterly shitty at times.

I’d tell them both to go fuck themselves.

Be strong, rise above it and you will be happy again.

I’m so sorry this happened. It must have been such a shock. I’m not surprised you feel betrayed.
I don’t know what to say about your relationship with your sister but I think you need to end things with the man

I’m sorry this has happened. I would ditch your partner and reduce contact for a while with your sister.

What a shocking first post, how awful for you.
Where was her husband, what did he say?
Bin the boyfriend definitely. Surprised you haven't already tbh.

He had gone to bed by this point. He woke up as soon as i started shouting though.

I have not spoken to either of them since but they have tried daily telling me how sorry they are.

i couldn't get past this , sorry . They have both behaved badly

The new man definitely needs to go, I think it's horrible but it's better that you found out who he was whilst it's still early days. I've never been in this situation but I honestly don't think I could forgive my sister for this especially if we were close. Whatever you decide you don't have to do anything straight away, take your time and think about whether this is something you can get past with her. Good luck, whatever you decide 💐

So they were in the kitchen. Standing up? I know it sounds weird but if they had been sat together on the sofa I could see how bodily position might have led to a kiss (not condoning) but this sounds more pre-planned, especially as they had left the room you were in. I don't have siblings so no advice on how to deal with that relationship but I'd have to bin him. If you end up together long term I reckon you're always going to have this incident in the back of your mind.

Do not stay with him no matter how "sorry" he clearly has no respect and will never be trustworthy I've seen this before. With your sister if you had good relationship before it may be salvageable but I would cool it for a while, don't let it get dismissed as nothing.

I wouldn't get past this with a new partner. He would be gone. If this is the kind of lapse of judgement he makes after a drink with your sister, you in the same house, then I wouldn't bother trying to trust him again.

If you and your sister had a good relationship and she continues to show she is sorry, and doesn't have form for this sort of thing, I wouldn't cut her off for good or anything. Did they know each other before? If I suspected something had been going on previously then I might think differently.

How awful. Unfortunately, the boyfriend has shown himself to be completely untrustworthy. Either he is lying about not remembering the incident, or he really is inclined to get so drunk that he doesn't know what he's doing or remember what he did. Either way, he can't be relied on; and maybe it's better that you found out earlier rather than later. Best to dump him! If this was very out of character for your sister, I might try to forgive her; but never go drinking with her again as she obviously changes personality when drunk.