Page 2 | DS leaves school on Friday and I only realised today.

Yellowbowlbanana · 2021-04-28T22:24:25+00:00

My DS is in Year 11. His GCSE years have been a washout, not helped by the fact that his school have been a bit shit. The school have opted to do a formal assessment in the style of GCSEs but modified. These begin in ten days after a week of study leave and last for three weeks. He will be finished by May 23rd. I'm assuming that is then it. This hasn't been communicated by the school. We have had nothing to indicate that this Friday will be his last day at school except for a note in the weekly calendar saying there is a Leaver's assembly on that day. This is way earlier than GCSEs would normally finish and they would also usually do work experience which has been cancelled. My DS is leaving the school to go elsewhere and I feel so sad that there has been literally nothing said or done to acknowledge this is the end of his, and many others, school journey. I didn't even realise it would be his last day until he mentioned that he'd had his last ever lesson of French. AIBU to have expected more by way of communication?

Bagamoyo1 · 29/04/2021 08:16

I think your school’s communication has been a bit crap OP. And also, how can Friday be the last day if they’re still going in to do exams? That makes no sense.
My year 11 DS started exams this week. They go on over 5 weeks, and then he finishes, with a leavers assembly on the final day. Throughout that time, they are having lessons in between the exams, except in the final week, when the only exams are maths (so there’s no point having lessons in other subjects) . They all take their last exam on the Friday morning, then an assembly and hoodies etc, then they’re done. Prom is booked for early July, Covid permitting.

I agree with others that the exam system is massively unfair. The government provided a bank of exam papers which schools can use if they want. My DS’s school is doing all the exams, and we’ve been told that the grades given are going to be entirely based on those exam results. Performance in class etc is not being considered at all. So if a pupil got 9s in every test throughout the past 2 years, but a 5 in the exam, then their grade will be a 5. That seems very unfair, given that some schools aren’t bothering to do exams at all.

AFS1 · 29/04/2021 08:20

@Handsnotwands

Poor sods. It’s been tough for everyone I know, but those gcse / a level / first year uni students have really paid the price. I think it’s really sad remembering what a fun time that age was, full of anticipation and change and excitement and new found independence :(

I agree so much with this. It’s all been a nightmare for everyone, but when I think back to that stage of my life (particularly going to uni), and how much it formed who I was I feel desperately sad for this generation of 16-19yr olds.

OP I don’t think you’re being unreasonable to have expected some more notice of when your child finishes school - the children need to know do that they can plan their goodbyes not just to each other but to their teachers and the school in general.

StressMagnet · 29/04/2021 08:22

Y son was in year 11 last year and it all felt so pointless. So much stress of exams that came to nothing. This year must be so much worse as at least last year it started so close to exams that they didnt miss much education and grading was clearer as they had done mocks etc.

If it helps to hear, life goes on and college etc is more smooth in a pandemic. However some key growing up has been missed so uni afte A levels wont happen here. Too much lost that ds needs to get down before hes ready for that. I think it will come good in the end.

But yes its shit. It's not ideal. People saying "what more do you want?" I bet you want some normality and this not to have happened at the point in your life. I think that's more normal to feel than total indifference.

Life isnt about slipping through with death at the final goal destination from some. It's not supposed to be chore to endure with just surviving each day as the ultimate dream.

Just waiting now for dimb arse to miss the point and take the piss out my dyslexia. Come on, you know you need to feel superior some how today

MagicSummer · 29/04/2021 08:23

@Springsnake

The whole prom thing is recent I left school ,on the last day after the last exam ,with no fanfare ,no assembly,no disco ,nothing but a wonderful sense of freedom,and excitement for what was next,those feelings are priceless,no one needs a prom ,after the last year some families are struggling to pay bills ,and extra expenses by schools would be seen in very poor taste

All we did was to line up and shake hands with the headmistress and we were done!

feistymumma · 29/04/2021 08:29

@Bagamoyo1

I think your school’s communication has been a bit crap OP. And also, how can Friday be the last day if they’re still going in to do exams? That makes no sense. My year 11 DS started exams this week. They go on over 5 weeks, and then he finishes, with a leavers assembly on the final day. Throughout that time, they are having lessons in between the exams, except in the final week, when the only exams are maths (so there’s no point having lessons in other subjects) . They all take their last exam on the Friday morning, then an assembly and hoodies etc, then they’re done. Prom is booked for early July, Covid permitting.

I agree with others that the exam system is massively unfair. The government provided a bank of exam papers which schools can use if they want. My DS’s school is doing all the exams, and we’ve been told that the grades given are going to be entirely based on those exam results. Performance in class etc is not being considered at all. So if a pupil got 9s in every test throughout the past 2 years, but a 5 in the exam, then their grade will be a 5. That seems very unfair, given that some schools aren’t bothering to do exams at all.

I agree with you re grading, wholly unfair. Our exam board is asking for three pieces of work and mocks are amongst the 3 pieces but entirely optional. DS' school has chosen to do all mocks but prior to this had told us they would be submitting written assessments. It's a complete shambles

ineedaholidaynow · 29/04/2021 08:29

I am old and didn’t have a school prom. I can remember much crying and hugging on our official last day at school as if we were never going to see each other again and then turning up a week later to sit our O-levels!

rainbowthoughts · 29/04/2021 08:30

I couldn't care less about a prom and I'm sure he couldn't. It's more that we literally haven't been told that Friday is the end of his school career

He was told. He knew. He is year 11. You don't need a note sent home.

LakieLady · 29/04/2021 08:31

@Springsnake

The whole prom thing is recent I left school ,on the last day after the last exam ,with no fanfare ,no assembly,no disco ,nothing but a wonderful sense of freedom,and excitement for what was next,those feelings are priceless,no one needs a prom ,after the last year some families are struggling to pay bills ,and extra expenses by schools would be seen in very poor taste

Same here. The sense of freedom and never having to set foot over that threshold again was wonderful!

It's not on a par with not being able to attend a loved one's funeral or collectively remember them at a wake imo. And where I live, last day for year 11s seemed to involve mostly smoking weed in the park and acts of minor vandalism.

Hoppinggreen · 29/04/2021 08:35

My DD in Y11 starts exams next week.
There’s so much inconsistency across schools

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 29/04/2021 08:37

I do think it’s shit for these kids. Absolutely. But it sounds like they’re better off that last years leavers.

poorbuthappy · 29/04/2021 08:37

We had a leavers balls (admittedly after A levels) in 1992!

DD1 (year 11) has 37 assessments in order to get her GSCEs.

They are about 1/3 of the way through.
I just hope they get to do them all.
Results due 11th June.

But we do have a prom booked and paid for in July with a full refund if cancelled.

ChrissyPlummer · 29/04/2021 08:38

I left school 25 years ago - we had an assembly on the last full day and that was that. Left on 9 May 1996 and only back in for exams after that (we got study leave in those days). No leaving do/prom/hoodies. Just signed each other’s shirts and went home!

PenguinIce · 29/04/2021 08:39

They did mocks back in early November and then were meant to have more in February. After the last lockdown they decided not to do the February Mocks and that pupils grades would be 25% based on Nov mocks and the rest on these weekly test questions.

GreyhoundG1rl · 29/04/2021 08:41

How is it the end of his school career? What's he doing next?

Aliceandthemarchhare · 29/04/2021 08:43

Because he’s leaving an establishment he’s spent five years at greyhound

I don’t want to sound irritable here but you did know that. I don’t believe you don’t know how the school system works.

GreyhoundG1rl · 29/04/2021 08:48

I know perfectly well how the school system works. Op's child is apparently leaving it. Keep your irritation to yourself, nobody was actually speaking to you.

Wobbitcatcher · 29/04/2021 08:48

I was a year 11 form tutor a few years ago, they had their last day and finished for exam leave as normal but one boy kept arriving everyday. He wandered around the site, revised in the library but just showed up every morning. After a few days I spoke to him about it and it turned out that mum didn’t believe him that he had finished and was still driving him in everyday as normal. Took a phone call from the head of year for her to believe him and let the poor boy stay home. A leavers assembly and the kids knowing they break up for study leave is about all the notice they normally get.

Aliceandthemarchhare · 29/04/2021 08:49

Ignoring that last line because it’s irrelevant, if you know how the school system works then why don’t you understand that you leave school at the end of year 11?

Yes some schools are 11-18 and students may elicit to stay on but not all are.

Notnownotneverever · 29/04/2021 08:50

YANBU to be disappointed in the school. But also you only need to contact the school and ask for clarification. The best contact is usually the head of year.

Ihopeyourcakeisshit · 29/04/2021 08:52

Maybe @FelicityPike would benefit from some lessons in self control and adult- like self restraint

SMabbutt · 29/04/2021 08:53

My DD year 11 is baxically doing full exams based using previous or practice papers. They are being broken down into small chunks and referred to as assessments but that just means she is having exam questions in most of her lessons and doesn't leave until 11th of June. She has all the same pressure of revision etc with months of no proper teaching, because her school just set tasks on show my homework and pointed to internet sources to learn the subject matter during the national and local lockdowns. The grades she is given will be based on her performance in thes assessments with no leeway given because that's how the school operates. The only good thing is they are getting a 'prom' of sorts, barring new restrictions, but probably no dancing so really a meal out and chance to chat. I'm not the biggest fan of proms but after the year they've had and the stress they've been under I'm actually really glad they have something to look forward to.

SofiaMichelle · 29/04/2021 08:54

@rainbowthoughts

I couldn't care less about a prom and I'm sure he couldn't. It's more that we literally haven't been told that Friday is the end of his school career

He was told. He knew. He is year 11. You don't need a note sent home.

Exactly this!

Why do you need to be told officially that he's finishing?

When you reach school leaving age it's expected that you no longer need mummy to tell you whether you need to go to school on a given day.

Lolly34h · 29/04/2021 08:55

My sons official leaving date is the 27th of may. And my son cannot wait to leave he's had the worst 18 months of his life. We lost his dad to sepsis in November 2019 and then Covid hit and it's just awful. However he's feeling super positive about his future and is so determined to make something of his self!

OutspokenNotThatFunny · 29/04/2021 08:59

Some schools around here even pre covid didn't tell the kids the last day to stop pranks on the last day.

My neice went to school on a weds and was told at 2.30 pm there was a leavers assembly and that was it... Bye!

Last Yr they left for lockdown and didn't return so didn't even get an assembly

IrmaFayLear · 29/04/2021 09:07

It is total crap for youngsters.

I get so when some posters say, “There were no proms in my day” in a tone of barely-disguised snobbery. It’s irrelevant! Many kids love proms and, more to the point, they have become a normal thing in recent years so when they disappear in a puff of smoke it is incredibly disappointing.

Fwiw my dc loathed the prom (dd slumping along in “Billie Eilish does Prom” non-outfit) but just because some might find it tacky is no reason to deny another’s enjoyment of something.

Also I heartily agree with @StressMagnet . Some posters seem to believe that an uneventful life of tempered enjoyment is the gold standard. And they do seem very mealy-mouthed about young people, actually sounding pleased about their situation.

And I even saw one poster say that young people have been out: to raves and BLM protests. Yep. Every single one of them. Raving and protesting. Strewth.