A theoretical AIBU

[Kitdeluca1]

So tomorrow I’m taking my grandma to a hospital appointment, I’m her carer so I am allowed into the hospital with her. We go every 2 weeks or so. She’s disabled so has a blue badge, the last few times we’ve been all the disabled parking has been taken up with people (blue badge holders) sitting in their cars waiting for their husbands/wife’s. Normally we just go to the next departments car park and park there and I’ll push her back to her department in her wheel chair, she’s started using a walking frame recently, just short distances and has said she’d like to use that tomorrow instead of the chair.
Now if when we get there the disabled parking is all taken up by people waiting for their SO would it be unreasonable of me to ask them to wait else where seen as I’ll actually be getting out of the car too, not just dropping off/picking up?
Hope all this makes sense.

They are cf, you'd think they'd just move and drive bAck over to pick their SO up when done leaving room for others... not sure whether I'd say anything but I'm a coward

Sorry I can see your logic but I don't think it's a fair thing to ask.

The problem is insufficient disabled parking spaces. The people waiting in the cars have just as much need of the spaces as you do - if they surrender the space to you they have no guarantee of being able to get a space again when their SO comes out of their appointment.

Presumably they are waiting in their car because they aren’t allowed inside (normally car would be parked up and both people would be in the waiting room).

Could you drop her at the door, park up and then meet her?

I think it very much depends on the layout of drop off/pick up. If they're able to easily get close to the door to drop them off/pick them up and able to get out the car to help get their OH in to the car (if needed) then yanbu. (Although I don't think there's much you can do about it if they refuse)

If however, them moving would mean their OH having to go further to get them then yabu as they would likely struggle with this, and as they are blue badge holders, they are just as entitled to the space

I think so long as you make it clear it’s fine if they can’t move, and you realise they might also need the spot then of course you could ask. They’ll understand that you need a space, but if they also need it then theyll not move.

Thank you all for your responses, a lot of you are saying this depends on the layout of the hospital. There is actually a drop off bay right outside the doors, something that I would use myself if I wasn’t actually going in the hospital too. So there is somewhere these people could pull into to collect their SO and it would be much closer for them to walk than the parking.

I don't think this is really that clear cut or you getting out of the car makes you more entitled to the space. If they move and you park there permanently how does that impact the person they are collecting in terms of accessibility? Also you don't know whether it is the person in the hospital or the person waiting in the car who is the blue badge holder and needs the extra space.
When I have had appointments recently my partner wasn't allowed in the whole time and I had to ring him when I was actually called into the room, so they could easily be doing the same.

I understand how you feel but you are assuming that the person in the car is disabled

It could well be that the patient in the hospital is the blue badge holder and that their carer is simply following the policy to wait in the car due to covid

They still need to be able to access their car on return and have just as much right to use the space as you do

It's one of those things that, really they're being selfish but they have a right to to. They don't need the space, they could drop their partner off then go park at the back of the car park, but they have a blue badge so they have just as much right to park in a disabled bay and have their lunch.

I think you should use the drop off bay then go park. It might be worth looking for the hospitals Facebook page and asking if there was a way to address it. Just a sign up asking that people leave the disabled bays for those leaving their cars empty and that people waiting use the standard parking and the drop off bay.

They might not be able to just use the drop off bay. Hospitals are massive places so the cater may need to go into the hospital to help their relative get to the right department, then may need to go back into the hospital to help their relative back to the car.

Carer not cater! Bloody autocorrect.

Help your grandma out at the drop-off bay, park up in a 'normal' space, and walk back to her.

There's a drop off bay by door? Use it.

Thanks for pointing this out. I often stay in the car and wait in a parking space while my relatives goes in (have a BB) but didn't think about people needing to get out. Next time I'll ask and pull into the middle to wait 😊