At what point is alcohol a problem?

[wingsnthat]

Hi, just after your thoughts

I have just turned 24 and have spent the past few weeks drunk out of my mind. A combination of making up for lost time with friends/family, my birthday and restrictions easing has led to me being exceptionally drunk on almost an daily basis since April 12. I’m lucky that I currently work from home so no one at work has noticed how utterly hungover and incapable I am in the mornings. I guess I just want to know, at what point am I doing too much? It is just socially but I feel like a mess. I don’t think I can hack alcohol as much as I could pre-pandemic as a 22 year old!

Just cut back then. I like a drink but what I really loved at that age was smoking grass or hash and taking hallucinogens.

I guess I just want to know, at what point am I doing too much?

Isn’t it obvious that you’ve already reached that point? You’re questioning whether you’re drinking too much. You’re incapable of doing your job the next morning. You’re almost certainly drinking more than the recommended weekly amount. You say you feel like a mess.

Why wouldn’t you cut down right now?

You have crossed the threshold if as you say you are utterly hungover and incompetent in the mornings. Where you having to attend work on a normal basis it would have been at least noticed if not commented upon. I guess the line is whether or not you feel you "need" a drink everyday, when you socialise and to unwind. I'm not a doctor so can't diagnose you either way and a couple of weeks of heavy drinking does not an alcoholic make. But interestingly enough if it's getting to the point where you're questioning it yourself then something is not right.

The fact you feel like a mess probably tells you all you need to know.

My guess would be that you posted because you know it's a problem. In just that short time, it's interfered with your work in a way that would be unsustainable if you weren't working from home.

If you are asking is it's a problem, it's a problem. Usually alcoholics are the last ones to know they are alcoholics, everyone around them knows they have a problem long before they can admit it to themselves due to Denial and shame, and also once you call if a problem you might have to do something about it

The fact that you even felt you needed to start this thread should tell you there's a problem.

Your drinking is a problem.

Can you simply stop ?

It is causing you problems, therefore it's a problem. You don't need to be a stereotypical 'alcoholic' to have a booze issue. I've done loads of reading around alcohol over the last few months in an attempt to address my own problematic drinking. Would highly recommend Annie Grace.

If it's affecting your work then it's time to wind it in.

Yeah I could definitely stop - the past few weeks have just been overwhelming (socially). It’s been a big jump from only going on walks to be able to travel and visit restaurants again etc.

You’re all right though - I have noticed there’s a problem which is why I posted. I need a wake up call. My brain literally felt like it was swimming in alcohol this weekend!

Also you’re right - working from home is a clutch. I’m returning to the office imminently so you’re right - I do need to fix up as I can’t get away with this

There are questionnaires you can do from charities that give you a score and depending on your score it makes certain recommendations.

I only mention it because one of the questions is “have you ever wondered if your drinking is a problem”. Another is “has your drinking ever affected your ability to carry out other areas of your life - work or social life”. Not exact wording but you get the gist. So I’d say your drinking is probably a problem and you should make changes.

When you’re drinking do you ever just have one or two drinks? Are you capable of stopping once you’ve started?

Sorry - cross post

It's already seeping into your work life, so cut back. I drink socially and enjoy a drink at home, like a cider on some evenings, but personally I can't even remember the last time I've been drunk! Every day is definitely excessive... when I've been hungover in the past I was definitely put off alcohol for a while, so to me it seems problematic that you can continue drinking hangover after hangover. If you have difficulties cutting back, please speak to your GP so you can access proper help with this local to you. I recently lost an uncle to alcoholism and nobody even knew he had a problem until it was too late I definitely think it's one of those things that can creep up on you without you realising it. Good luck OP!

In terms of physical health you're probably having too much yes. You won't be doing yourself any favours and that's why you feel rubbish everyday. You should definitely take some time to recover. Drink plenty of water, sleep and eat nutritious food.

Mentally it's a different issue. Are you drinking loads just because it's been your birthday and you've been busy seeing people? Or are you drinking alone? Do you feel like you can stop? People throw the world alcoholism around all the time here but there's a difference between true dependency and a bender that's just gone on too long.

Sounds fine to me, just try to have a few days off a week, dont drink and drive if you can avoid it

@VeganVeal "don't drink and drive if you can avoid it"?

If you can avoid it? Really?

@VeganVeal

Sounds fine to me, just try to have a few days off a week, dont drink and drive if you can avoid it

Even though the op is clearly worried about it and can’t function the next morning?

What part of her post makes you think this level of drinking is fine?

You’ve answered your own question. If you can’t handle work in the morning, you need to knock it on the head weekdays. Restrict yourself to Friday and Saturday. If you find that you can’t, you need support.

@VeganVeal

Sounds fine to me, just try to have a few days off a week, dont drink and drive if you can avoid it

Are you serious?

Yes it’s only socially - I don’t drink on my own and didn’t drink anything during lockdown. I do feel a bit dehydrated now. Pre-lockdown I was a student that could handle all nighters etc so my tolerance was probably higher back then ! Ageing 😔

Don’t worry I would never drink and drive! I have spent a small fortune on Uber recently

By “incapable” at work I just meant that I stay in bed in the mornings vs sitting at my desk and don’t put my camera on during meetings. However my actual work is still being carried out to a high standard - it’s only civil service so not very complicated

“ it’s only civil service so not very complicated”😆
Sorry - that made me laugh!

OP, as PP’s have said, you know you have already reached that point.
Try to stop, or if you go out, tell friends you can’t drink because you’re driving in the morning/ have work tomorrow/are on medication that doesn’t mix with alcohol, then try every non-alcoholic drink going until you find one that works for you. Good luck

Great use of our tax money, paying you to stay in bed all morning.

I’m puzzled as to how you can go from being incapable of work to working at a very high standard. Back track much?

I stopped drinking a couple of years ago when I found myself having to call in ‘sick’ with a hangover once or twice and feeling so guilty about it. I think trying to label yourself as an alcoholic/not an alcoholic is misleading, if it’s making you anxious or unhappy then it’s time to reassess your relationship with alcohol.

This Naked Mind is a brilliant read which makes you rethink a lot of the reasons we give ourselves for drinking alcohol. It genuinely made me realise that there was no good reason at all to keep drinking it. I’d really recommend taking a look!