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AIBU to want space

5 replies

Mumofher · 28/04/2021 13:48

I've been living at home with my parents and my daughter(6) and have been wfh since Covid struck last year. My dad is a key worker and hasn't stopping working but mum had to shield and has now been deemed unfit to work due to her health. I have been wfh like I mentioned before and having to home school before schools opened so now that my child is back at school, I have the chance to easily get some work done.

I tend to work from my bed as no room for a table and chair anywhere in the house but mum comes and sits on the edge of my bed while I work. I have told her many times that I prefer to work alone and I am quite the introvert anyway but she doesn't seem to respect this and says how bored and lonely she is which I understand but I feel so caged and under watch and she has also constantly insisted on coming with me to do the school run in the afternoon which forces me to take the car when I prefer walking there because she can't handle walking anywhere. I have agreed a few times but other times I put my foot down that I really need to get some steps in.

I feel so suffocated and my question is, AIBU to feel like this and should I be made to feel responsible for keeping her company at all times when I need me time too.

PS I've contemplated taking my laptop into the car (which is out of view of the house) and working from there rather than my room to avoid having to share my tiny room which I already share with my daughter. And before anybody asks, yes I am working on getting my own place, just had to put a few things in place.

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

lanthanum · 28/04/2021 14:42

Difficult one. She's obviously lonely, and if she can't get out and about that doesn't help.

I think you probably have to bite the bullet and explain that you need to be alone when you work, or you can't concentrate properly. Perhaps suggest that you come down for a 15 minute coffee break partway through the morning, and lunch at lunchtime, so that she's got something to look forward to.

Does she have friends locally who might come and visit now garden visits are allowed, or are her friends all still working? Can you help her find an interest that she can pursue from home and hopefully also use to meet people, even if only by phone/Zoom? Does she have any hobbies, perhaps long-neglected whilst working?

I take it she's not mobile enough to do any of the school runs without you? Can you keep an eye out for any other grans while you're on the school run? Perhaps if you can introduce her to other grans there might be a chance for her to invite them to come round after morning drop-off for coffee in the garden. I realise it's all still very difficult while everyone's social-distancing at pick-up/drop-off.


Mumofher · 28/04/2021 16:03

Thank you for taking the time to respond. I quite like the idea of taking little breaks to have coffee or lunch with her. Hadn't actually considered that. Will also look at helping her find a hobby as well

OP posts:

bobblyboob · 28/04/2021 16:06

Can you get your own place and move out?


forrestgreen · 28/04/2021 16:12

Headphones on and act very distracted.
Ask mum to put the kettle on and you'll come for a break in ten mins.
Tell her you'll take the car to school on Fridays but you're walking the rest of the week as it's good for dd


adrianmolesmole · 28/04/2021 16:15

Tell your mum you have deadlines so need to focus. It sounds like a very suffocating situation, I feel for you. I would feel similar if I had to move in with my mum.

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