Hi all
I left my ex on bad terms two and a half years ago and we have two children together. He has been paying me £200 pm for both kids most of this time, which I had to fight for, it was £100 pm at first. He NEVER has the kids, ever. He's not had them once since I left and he's not bothered about them unless it's to criticise me about something. He was a complete waste of space when I was with him too which is partly why I left.
When we arranged the £200 pm thing he said he was also giving his parents £200 pm, as they have them three days/nights a week for me to go to work. I was a little shocked that they were asking for this money considering it's their (only) grandkids but that's that, I didn't question it any further as they are good to me to have them when I work. If they didn't, I'd have to leave my job since it involves shifts, nights and weekends and I trained for years to get where I am now.
There's been some debacle recently over the school dinners money. My kids have school dinners maybe once or twice a week if there's something they fancy so money is put on as and when. My ex asked me why I was not putting money on the machine a few months ago for the days that his dad takes them to school and that he's having to give his dad the money back for it. Of course I questioned why he was giving his dad extra money when they're already having the £200, the same amount as me, and I'm not getting any extra. His response was 'you know what my dad is like'. I asked him for an extra £50 a month at the time so then his dad wouldn't have to worry about the machine and, as is usual for him, he ignored me.
So fast forward to yesterday, my son comes home and tells me that his grandad had said about me putting money on the machine 'as she's the one who gets the money, not us' so clearly he's lying to me about giving them money. He's always been very selfish and money mad, he works 70+ hours a week and earns I would say just under 50k at a guess. When I've asked him for more money in the past, he tells me 'it doesn't cost £200 to feed two kids' (yeah because that's the only cost related to children!) and that he's having to work all these hours just to keep ends meet bla bla bla yet he was able to part ex his car and put the other 10k outright towards his new car a few months ago so that he doesn't owe anything on it and he's forever bragging about buying new gadgets that cost a few thousand pound each, and I know they're not on credit.
So he's doing damn well alright and while I earn a decent wage, I'm paying out a lot in bills and the usual stuff and we do struggle sometimes but he's not interested in making sure his children are well looked after. The kids are with me all the time unless I'm in work and I do my best but sometimes I just don't have the money for things they want and it really upsets me. I have around £80 pm from universal credits which doesn't go very far.
My current partner has told me to go down the CSA route but I am afraid this would muddy the waters between me and his parents and while myself and my ex don't have a great relationship, we get on decently enough.
Does anyone have any advice for me please?