How do you fake happiness when depressed?

[whatisforteamum]

I'm currently receiving CBT and have anti depressants as an absolute back up.
I've always been bubbly full of beans positive type of person at work.I loved my job so much but started to have issues 6 months before lockdown.Subtle bullying really and lack of support.
I only became really depressed or burnt out this last month,dm was affecting my mood with her content negative comments,my workplace is adopting a new uncreative work model so I'm looking to leave as creativity is why I work unsociable hours.The pay is terrible too.
I can feel that people are withdrawing from me as I've become so anxious and depressed.
How do I fake positive vibes while I'm still so drained as I don't want to be a misery.

Well, it is acting, so you practice in the mirror until you have your mask of facial expressions you can use and you talk yourself at start of each day into putting on the act of happy employee/boss.

I know many and even I think you shouldn’t pretend, but the reality is that we do to spare others. For me, it was my children that I masked my depression when around them.

Being able or not able to mask isn’t a symptom of depression being less or worse than another person’s depression. In fact, studies have shown that men usually mask depression which is why they score low on depression tests, are less likely to be diagnosed with it but more likely to do suicide.

Badly.
I'm not sure why I feel the need to do it at all tbh.

I don't normally fake anything! I am what I am but I feel that as every one else has come back happy I don't want to drag the team down and make my time there worse.
Interesting that men fake is as I work in a male dominated environment.

Yes, it is interesting because simply being in a male dominated workplace is probably why you feel pressure or an obligation to mask your depression while working.

Have you thought about getting signed off work for a few weeks? The downside to masking is that it takes energy. And energy is in short supply when depressed. I found I couldn’t have energy to recover if I were diverting it into masking.

I normally push on through tbh.Im returning from furlough and each time I was apprehensive but fine.This time I feel tearful and very unmotivated.
The men have all bonded as they went back first a few days ago.I can't really get signed off sick as it would be seen as a real weakness.They know I have an anxiety disorder which I use work as a way to disguise the feelings.Two other girls left and they probably hope I will too.