nursery sickness and backup childcare

[Purplelemon7]

Hi

Just returning to work after Mat leave. My kids (2 and 1) are going to nursery for 2 days and will have a nanny for 2 days. I keep hearing about how kids are ‘constantly’ sick for the first 6months/year at nursery. My parents live a ten minute drive away so are able to help with sickness cover for now (if the kids can’t go to nursery or if the nanny is off sick), however we are looking at moving out off the area for better schools and more space. We would be 35 mins away (45 mins in traffic) from my parents. Both DH and I are in high pressure client facing work environments. My employer isn’t very family friendly so in the long run I need to look for another job but it may take me some time to figure out something. DH has a more understanding boss but I can’t leave it all to him. I don’t like the idea of using emergency childcare and leaving them with someone they don’t know. I keep hearing about how kids get sick so often (in fact my son started nursery last week and already has sniffles and now my daughter seems to as well!) I keep having second thoughts about moving but then I think maybe I’m over thinking it - they won’t be sick constantly, we will manage between us with days off, my parents will be able to help out if it’s once in a while etc. I would be interested to hear about your experiences of sickness at nursery, how frequent is it (?!), how you managed it, thoughts on the value is having family close by when kids are young, managing employers/colleagues who aren’t family friendly etc. Thank you.

DS is 17 months and has been at nursery 2 days a week for the last 9 months. He's never had a day off sick. Plenty or runny noses but nothing that caused him any real bother or needed him to be off.

We had more of an issue with the CM having personal crises/family sickness (so, your nanny having issues) than with the DCs being too poorly to attend nursery (they were in both settings).

At the moment with having to isolate if covid symptoms it's been pretty brutal, but hopefully at some point the guidance they have to adhere to will change, in which case sniffles, colds etc aren't usually too much of an issue. It depends on the children though really, some will be off a load and others won't, I'd be surprised though if you never had to have them home due to being poorly. I would perhaps consider having the other 2 days with the nanny, who presumably takes them out and can go to groups as they reopen?

Ours have had lots of cough/ colds but rarely been too ill to go in. Bit trickier now with covid as they get sent home 48h for every temp even if negative test.

Get them the chickenpox vaccine privately as otherwise you are looking at 2-3 weeks off (also chicken pox is horrible for kids!)

1. Get Chickenpox Vaccine. They will get it sequentially which is 2 weeks off.

1. It's very random. DC1 had a tonne of bugs in reception but moved schools and has had almost none this year and no stomach bugs! Covid hygiene will help but if either run temperatures for no reason that will be a decent risk of time off/swabs.

It totally depends on the child. DD only had a couple of occasions where she had to stay at home, on those occasions DH was able to WFH as I couldn't (I worked away M-T) a lot initially.

DS was a totally different kettle of fish. The first winter he had 3 separate bouts of bronchiolitis and was off a full week each time. He also had numerous ear infections with bad discharge where he's been off a day or so each time as well. Oh and chicken pox as well. Thankfully by the time we had DS I'd changed jobs, as I genuinely don't know how we'd have managed as we have no family nearby. I now WFH so was able to keep him home with me, with DH stepping in when I had deadlines.

Apart from things like chicken pox it is really child dependent.

Mine, 2.5 years old, has been at CM since she was just under 10 months for 3 days a week. She's had one day off for sickness and was only sick for half that day. The CM herself who is very experienced pointed out my DD doesn't get sick.

The CM has always been good on hand hygiene but so are we due to DD being around others with weaker immune systems.

As others have said, it's totally dependent on the child. One of mine only managed a week in nursery before I had to pick her up with a temperature - she was fine when I dropped her off but 5 minutes into my first big meeting back from mat leave she suddenly wasn't. She also used to get croup which meant time off for both of us due to middle of the night hospital visits as she'd been poorly when she was born so they were taking no chances with that. If there was anything going, she got it. It was hugely stressful not knowing when I'd be called out of the office, but I was well set up to work from home and she tended to be very sleepy when she was poorly so I'd get most of my work done over the course of the day/evening. (DH's job couldn't be done from home so it did all fall to me). A nanny wasn't an option for us but it would have taken the pressure off.

Roll on to dc2 who I think only had one day when she was too ill to go in. She's had a couple of days off with a cough more recently waiting for covid tests, but in normal times she would have been fine to go in. My parents had both retired by the time she was in nursery and were happy to help out though we rarely needed it . They're 15 miles away which is close enough to help at short notice - I might have been a little late in if I had to detour to drop off with them, or arranged to work at home to make that time back, but knowing I had a back up option a short-ish drive away made a world of difference.

Thanks all, interesting to hear the range of experiences. Fingers crossed my kids are the type to rarely get sick. They’ve not had any issues so far but they haven’t been exposed to anything either so hard to know!

35 mins from parents isn't that far! Surely you can still get help there.

I would say, set up some expectations in advance with your partner that you will take turns being off because there will be times when you need to be.