AIBU - work related

[Whyarepeoplelikethis]

I honestly feel so cross and fed up. And I just want to cry. I don’t know if I need to grow a backbone or persevere but I feel so angry and disrespected.

I freelance in an industry that is notoriously known for being rude and bullying. Anyway, I have a good track record and was recommended to email this person about opportunities for work.

I emailed them three times this year and got no response. I then ended up having a meeting with their boss by chance who told me to contact this person as they would be good to talk to about opportunities, I said I had and had received no response. They said “oh that is awful”’.

So I email for the fourth time, this time saying I’d spoken to their boss who’d recommended I get in touch and I wasn’t sure where my emails were ending up as I haven’t had a response.

I should also say that I have previously worked for this person’s project before (prior to them taking over) and did some good work which was shortlisted for an award.

After this fourth email, I had a prompt reply saying they were busy but their PA would contact me about a zoom meeting. This was arranged - and then rescheduled for an in person meeting.

That got cancelled last week and was rescheduled for a zoom meeting today. It got cancelled with ten mins to go and I’ve been told it’s easier to now meet in person next week.

I totally understand people are busy, things crop up. But the lack of ability to just reply to several of my emails and now the constant rearranging makes me feel so disrespected and that it’s just rude and that actually they’re just not interested.

I freelance, it’s a pandemic, Im not unknown to them and more than that our industry has come in for criticism in the last year for treating freelancers and people of colour badly. I was always cynical about the noises it makes in response and to be honest I just don’t think things will change.

Well I hate to say it, but yes, they are just not interested in meeting up with you, helping you find opportunities or whatever else. I wouldn’t give it any more thought tbh, develop your network elsewhere.

Yes, think I will just give up with them. Really leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Are you really comparing mistreatment of freelancers to racism?!

It sounds like you are either not a very good freelancer or not the type of freelancer they need at the moment.

It isnt disrespectful -it is part and parcel of being a freelancer. You are hassling someone who has made it clear that they don't have any immediate use for you- if they did they would engage

Are you a person of colour ? (Are you also in the USA?)
Are you suggesting that he is cancelling because he is racist?

Im not unknown to them

Focus on that bit.

I am a person of colour, yes.

In my OP I said, my industry has been heavily criticised for treating people of colour and freelancers (the two are not mutually exclusive) badly, especially in the last year - which is why I find this treatment even more galling. It epitomises everything that has been said: doors don’t easily open but very quickly slam shut, you’re not given the time of day compared to others etc.

Racism can be very nuanced and the issue in our industry is seen by the numbers of BAME people within in, how they’re treated compared to others and lack of equality of opportunity etc.

You are the one who needs them. Surely they’ll be in touch if they need you!!

I should also say that I have previously worked for this person’s project before (prior to them taking over) and did some good work which was shortlisted for an award.

This stood out for me. I wonder if this person feels threatened because you are obviously very good at what you do.

I don't know your industry OP but if it wouldn't harm your overall reputation I'd be very tempted to keep trying to get that meeting to happen, whether in person or by Zoom.

At least that way you will know one way or another and they can't later say that you were the difficult one over the arrangements?

This is one reason why it’s so hard to call people out on systematic racism 😕

On the one hand: you may be being ignored then dicked about because of your race.

On the other hand, this person may have ignored 3 emails because they have quite enough unsolicited approaches from freelancers hoping for work, when they have none to give, and only got in touch after the 4th because their boss told them they had to. Which wouldn’t make them particularly keen.

@PeggyArmstrong makes a good point about them being threatened.

Yes, I agree. It is very hard to call out systemic racism and also privilege.

Just dispiriting because given all the chatter and industry action, people in these positions should be far more aware about their actions and what they should be/need to be doing.

I just feel incredibly weary of it all right now.

I can see why people say they might be feeling harassed but the industry works on being pushy and also on people taking unsolicited calls and meetings etc - it just seems that it works for one group and not as well for another.

Oh gawd. At least it’s almost the end of the day.

Would your skills be transferable to a different industry? It seems you are banging your head up against a brick wall with this one.

@Whyarepeoplelikethis

Why have you ignored what I and @Cocomarine have posted here?

What is the industry?

I haven’t ignored it?

Over the last six months I've received so many unsolicited emails from people I don't know I literally skim through and if you're not a current customer, staff or sub-contractor then I just delete. To be fair, I'd actually have blocked you on the 3rd email.

As I said, whilst they may feel fed up about unsolicited emails etc - it’s also how it works - but more than that they should be aware of their actions given the talk within the industry around how it treats people and I agreed that this is why it’s hard to call out systemic racism.

The meeting has been rescheduled now for the third time for next week...so let’s see how it goes.

I’m guessing tv.

However - I work in a different industry and can say we get emails from freelancers (some who we’ve worked with before some unsolicited) daily, like loads of them.

We do have to ignore or send a brief “holding” email to be polite. But the reality is that we are inundated and just cannot get back to everyone,

flipperty totally understand. It’s just really not how my industry works though - and it’s been actively talked about how people do need to respond to people coming to them for work and opportunities which is why I find it especially dispiriting.

You’re a freelancer, they are a target for work. You’re the one who wants things from them so of course all the heavy lifting is on you? That’s like working in business development and getting upset if people don’t answer your emails. If I responded to every unsolicited email I would have to hire 2 more people to do my job. Keep plugging away, sometimes an email lands at the right time. But they don’t owe you anything.

@Whyarepeoplelikethis

flipperty totally understand. It’s just really not how my industry works though - and it’s been actively talked about how people do need to respond to people coming to them for work and opportunities which is why I find it especially dispiriting.

Sorry but this actually just how the world works. While there may be calls for people to get back to freelancers the reality is that it’s an employers market.

Crap that they’ve messed you around with meetings but you’re low on their agenda.

Yes that’s true. I am low on their agenda.

Thanks everyone.

It’s hard to say not knowing your industry but I agree a lot of the noise around positive action to combat racism is just lip service.

This person sounds thoroughly unprofessional as well.

If it helps I’ve just rescheduled a meeting with a consultant for the third time... and I really want to talk to him. I don’t know his ethnicity, race, religion, or sexual orientation.. what I do know is that I’m damn busy, I don’t have a final budget yet, and am still sorting through corporate goals and initiatives for the coming year.

When I do finally sit down with this guy, he’ll either want my business or not. But if whines about me canceling, it’s unlikely that I’ll be too keen to go with him.

@Whyarepeoplelikethis I think you need to toughen up and figure out how to be blown off, rejected, screwed around, and navigate cold call selling, or you need to find a new line of work.

Thanks. I think it’s the constant rearranging/lack of getting back to me that I find incredibly disrespectful and unprofessional.

Im not sure how it works in other industries but really in this industry, there is an obligation to see freelancers, particularly in my line of work.

Anyway, I take on board this is just the way the world is and I need to carry on and toughen up