To be considering buying a special needs buggy?

FrancesFlute · 27/04/2021 11:32

That all sounds very distressing.

Yes I absolutely would consider this. It sounds as if it would support you to keep him safe and also if you have a toddler, you can't be chasing after him easily with them too.

How do you think he'd react to it?

Happycat1212 · 27/04/2021 11:32

Of course it’s fine, my daughter is the same she runs out into roads / has no sense of danger etc, people suggested I put her in a wheelchair but I wouldn’t do that, she’s too old for a pushchair now as she is 10 but If she wasn’t I would get one

Xiaoxiong · 27/04/2021 11:32

I know some more experienced people than me with ASD will be along in a minute but I just want to send you - that sounds really hard, especially with a toddler also in tow, and your poor son getting upset or overwhelmed and then running. I don't know if this particular buggy is the right solution but it certainly sounds like something along those lines, or reins maybe(?) is worth a try and needed to keep him safe.

Inaquandry19 · 27/04/2021 11:35

Yanbu to consider a buggy. DS 5 who is autistic would still be in one if he didn't completely refuse. You can possibly get one from wheelchair services for free, we did.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo · 27/04/2021 11:35

Get one and get reins for the toddler. It will more pleasant for you and safer for the kids. My only question is will DS agree to go in one?

HeyDemonsItsYaGirl · 27/04/2021 11:36

Would reins be better? They would help you keep him safe and can be used with one hands, but they leave him with more freedom than a buggy.

Sirzy · 27/04/2021 11:37

Ds used an excel Elsie (similar to a mclaren major but cheaper) when he was about the same age, we have had a few different ones and now he is 11 and has a wheelchair - makes a massive difference

IhateBoswell · 27/04/2021 11:38

I would if I were in your position. My 6 year old is Autistic and functions at the level of a 3 year old. Luckily he will walk with us holding hands, but if he was a bolter I’d definitely get him the buggy.

Original poster

Opal93 · 27/04/2021 11:39

Thank you so much for suggesting reins I hadn’t thought of that. Will have a look on Amazon today. I think he probably will go in it because he often wanted in his brother’s pram when he was starting to get upset but he can’t because he’s far too big.

OP posts:

CadburyCake · 27/04/2021 11:40

I have a similar age child with autism. No way could I carry him any distance even when he’s calm and happy, in a meltdown I have no chance! He has different issues to your son, but if I thought for a moment that it would help him to have a buggy then I’d get him one. Why not? Keeps him safe, maybe provides him with a bit of a “safe space”, makes it easier for you... aside from the cost I don’t see a downside. You don’t have to use it all the time, you can still practice without it. But I’d wholeheartedly go for anything that makes your life and his life easier and still enables you to go out and about!

Blindstupid · 27/04/2021 11:41

OP do you claim DLA? It will help with extra financial costs.

GAW19 · 27/04/2021 11:46

My little girl has reins that do up at the back, maybe something like that so he can't undo the fastening?

Happycat1212 · 27/04/2021 11:46

I should add I do it the opposite way I still use a buggy for my 3 soon to be 4 year old because I can’t watch her and my daughter, my daughter runs off in front and then 3 year old can’t catch up so I have to still keep her in the buggy, when by now she would have been walking, I’m sure some people judge as people have a funny thing about kids being out of buggy’s as soon as they can walk but who cares what others think, they are not in your situation you have to do what’s best for you.

AnnieAnoniMouse · 27/04/2021 11:47

It's not ridiculous to do pretty much whatever it takes to keep them both (and yourself) safe 💐

Would he go in one?

If you had one, would he have been in it in all of those occasions?

I think personally I'd go for a chest harness/reins & the toddler in reins/buggy.

If you know the toddler is safe, it'll free up your arms and some mental capacity.

My godson (with autism) was pretty unmanageable even in a SN buggy at 5 as he was quite heavy.

Though I appreciate that doesn't help you move him if he's 'grounding'. My GS was too heavy to be carried by us by the time he was 6 so we just had to work out how to manage him. It's tough when they're still so young and obviously all so different.

But bottom line is do what's best for you/the kids and don't worry about anyone else

💐

FlyingPandas · 27/04/2021 11:49

OP. That sounds really hard.

If I were you, I would get the Maclaren Major rather than just relying on reins. Partly because as you say he is tall and strong - if in the grip of a distressed meltdown, he could potentially still pull you over/cause damage etc if only wearing reins. But also, I think, the Major is well recognised as being only for DC with special needs. Which could act as a useful sign to the general public that you have a child with specific additional needs who is reacting to situations in a certain way because of their disability and not because they're badly behaved (or whatever inaccurate opinion a random person might have).

Sympathies to you, ASD is hard. I have a much older teen with ASD and whilst I didn't have this particular issue when he was six, parenting any child with ASD can be tough. I think if something is going to make your life easier then go for it.

Sirzy · 27/04/2021 11:58

The other good thing with having a buggy/wheelchair is it gives them an escape point where they can hide under a blanket and calm

Original poster

Opal93 · 27/04/2021 12:01

Blindstupid yes I claim lower mobility and middle care xx

OP posts:

DinosaurDigestive · 27/04/2021 12:06

I definitely say to go for it. Makes life so much easier and much more practical than hoping reins will help keep him close especially if a trigger happens or if he refuses to walk etc. I attempted reins with one of mine who has ASD and they were not right at all! Ended up repeatedly having to try and pick up and lift and contain while lashing out and trying to wriggle to get free.

The Maclaren you're talking about is perfect and it honestly will make things so much easier. The fact that he had wanted in his brother's pram also shows he would likely co-operate with being in one. Even if there is an outburst at any time going into the pram he will eventually settle and he will be safe in there and you won't have to leg it after him particularly with your other child.

I know how extremely hard it can be and I can't recommend you getting one enough

Original poster

Opal93 · 27/04/2021 12:10

DinosaurDigestive thank u so much for your advice. If you don’t mind me asking what age was your son when he needed it? x

OP posts:

DinosaurDigestive · 27/04/2021 12:10

You could potentially be able to get a disabled pram from the hospital but it can be a big wait and it used to be the case that certain other health professionals recommended it also. So I know it is a lot but I would just buy one so that way you have it a whole lot sooner and not running the risk of waiting for an answer only to be told no as I know some other people who were refused.

Anything that makes things easier to do and to decrease stress all around is worth every penny. There is also the Family Fund but I know it is also a long wait to hear back from them but that is understandable due to the number of applications by people.

De88 · 27/04/2021 12:13

@Opal93

My son is six with ASD and is becoming increasingly challenging when out and about. A few recent examples in recent weeks, out for a walk he became overwhelmed and had a total meltdown. He grounded himself and lashed out when anyone tried to touch/lift him. In the end it took 3 adults (one being a very kind stranger) to get him to the car safely. On another recent occasion we were at a pedestrian crossing and crossed while the man was green. He always carries a straw about to twirl and stick with and realised he had dropped it on the road and tried to bolt back to get it. Cars were zooming past by the but he didn’t care he just wanted his straw. I had to physically stop him by holding him running on the road. Also in a cafe recently, we were in the queue and a noise upset him. He broke free from me , ran straight into a lady’s table and shook it before I could stop him, and her coffee spilled. Thankfully neither my son or she was scalded, but this sort of unpredictable behaviour is making outings anywhere impossible. I am tempted to just not go out but I don’t think that’s good for my other child. If he gets upset his impulse is to ground himself and refuse to walk, and carrying him is hard now he’s six and a tall boy. If he gets scared his impulse is to run which creates a dangerous situation. I have seen a Maclaren special needs buggy at quite a good price and I’m considering it. I do think it would make outings easier, at least it would enable me to get him to the car if he gets distressed a lot easier than to carry him while lashing out AND hold my toddlers hand. In my situation, would you go for it?

This is what these buggies are made for OP - your son is unable to walk safely unaided.

Clymene · 27/04/2021 12:14

I would definitely do it, particularly if you think he'd be keen. Keeping both of your children safe has to be your primary objective (and you probably could do with fewer heart stopping incidents because they are never fun!).

DinosaurDigestive · 27/04/2021 12:23

Just before your son's age. Regular strollers didn't fit at all from about four as was very tall for age so before that it was not very good at all! The dreaded feet being dragged along the ground when decided not to keep them on the foot bit. Went through so many regular strollers it was a joke.

The pram was absolutely brilliant and lasted well for number of years. There were quite a few others who used one for their children who had a diagnosis and some who were going through assessment process and their ages all varied also.

Walking was usually an absolute nightmare and it takes so much out of you trying to run to catch them when they decide to bolt away all of a sudden or to suddenly stop and not move at all. Will also save you from any of the lashing out that can occur when trying to hold during a trigger. Mine has sensory sensitivities so a lot was to blame for the outbursts - certain lighting in shops was a major one, smells and also noises.

Gobbeldegook · 27/04/2021 12:23

I would contact wheelchair services first. They may supply you one. Usually a McLaren major but you need to buy the accessory pack separately, for the hood and rain cover. Your son's pediatrician should refer you over if you have one, otherwise self refer.
Might save you a few hundred pounds.

DinosaurDigestive · 27/04/2021 12:28

I completely understand about the whole feeling like you don't want to go out at all. I've been through that and it isn't a nice way to feel at all. I wanted to just hide away as I was beyond sick of all the looks from strangers in the street and the rude remarks they used to make.

It really takes it out of you. I've no idea why anyone could have voted YABU for this!! Just goes to show some people don't have a clue at all!