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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To let my 2 year old go to bed with no dinner?

70 replies

LittleMG · 26/04/2021 18:55

My little boy will hardly eat any foods that are not cake and chocolate. Tonight I tried to give him a pasta and sauce type dinner and he’s having non of it. He’s is very even tempered and hardly ever has tantrums but he is really digging his heels on and will not eat it. He want a fruit pot (healthy but does this just show him he can pick and choose what he eats??)

I’m trying to be strong my family have told me he’ll eat when he’s hungry but he’s hardly had anything for lunch and I know he’s hungry 😢

I’ve just put him in the bath and he’s stopped crying and is playing. I’m sitting here I could cry I don’t know what to do I want to do right for my son.

Please can I have some advice x

OP posts:
Crowsandshivers · 26/04/2021 19:27

He will wake hungry if you don't feed him. He is still a baby. Give him a bath then some porridge or weetabix before bed.

Deadringer · 26/04/2021 19:29

This is a battle you can't win, if he goes to bed hungry it will probably hurt you more than him. Little ones don't know why some foods are good and some bad, they just know what they like. Keep offering him healthy foods you will find something he likes.
I agree with pp, don't have cake or chocolate in the house (or hide it well).

PinkCookie11 · 26/04/2021 19:30

He’ll get there don’t worry, we were all fussy with food at some point in our lives!
Put food on his plate that you know he will eat along with different food. As some point he will try it.

MrsFLongbottom · 26/04/2021 19:36

My DS is about the same age and has some days/nights where he’s just not fussed about food. I normally serve some fresh fruit along side dinner and then we eat together and chat and I try and ignore what he’s eating- often this way after a while of staring at whatever the main meal is, fiddling with it and dropping some he’ll give it a go. Doesn’t always eat loads but all exposure is helpful and I know he’s eaten something but not seen it as a request/demand as it was already on his plate. I’m currently trying a 3 week meal rotation in the hope that he’ll get used to the mix of meals and the once were comfy I’ll swap in a couple of new ones and repeat. It’s tough, try not to get into a battle, and remember toddlers don’t need to eat as much as babies.

Wibblewobble99 · 26/04/2021 19:40

Will he eat when distracted in the bath? My friend used to do weetabix in the bath when really hungry or not eating tea. Bath was the distraction and weetabix filling and not much sugar

fassnk · 26/04/2021 19:42

DS is a similar age and if he buggers about with his dinner then i just let him down from the table to go and play. Same as other PPs i give porridge before bed with a banana, or weetabix with warm milk. He likes both but they are pretty boring so I dont think he plays up to get them rather than his dinner. I agree sending your DS to bed hungry will just equal a bad night for everyone, I would wait until he is a bit older before the its dinner or nothing chat.

user648482729 · 26/04/2021 19:42

My DD went through this stage and I’d always offer her something to eat before bed (toast, cereal, crackers etc) as at that age I think they’re too young to understand it. Since she turned 3 I started saying that if she didn’t eat at least some of her dinner then there would be nothing else and she’s old enough to understand consequences now and as long as she eats some of her dinner then I don’t mind giving her a snack later on too but it’s rare that she asks.

Georgyporky · 26/04/2021 19:45

Probably too late now, but if he never had cake or chocolate in the past it would not be a problem now.

Clareypoo · 26/04/2021 19:50

Same here. We do weetabix for pudding a good 20 mins after dinner/tantrum/refusal so they don't relate in his head (hopefully).
Probs happens twice a week....
Just gotta get him full somehow so there's more chance of a good night's sleep...

Makingnumber2 · 26/04/2021 19:53

I really recommend kids.eat.in.color instagram account- she gives good advice over fussy toddlers. Mainly 1) don't stress if your toddler is fuss, always offer 'safe' food as part of their meal and always continue to offer food they aren't fond of or perhaps have never tried.
I've totally seen posts from her (nutritionist) saying if all your child will eat is chicken nuggets for dinner then go with it and try and add accompaniments that have good nutritional value etc.
Tomorrow why not offer fruit pot and pasta and sauce together? At least then there's something you know he will eat and he continues to get exposure to other foods- even if just visually? Good luck.

Ellpellwood · 26/04/2021 19:54

@Georgyporky

Probably too late now, but if he never had cake or chocolate in the past it would not be a problem now.
Helpful! Hmm
rainbowthoughts · 26/04/2021 19:55

@Georgyporky

Probably too late now, but if he never had cake or chocolate in the past it would not be a problem now.

Very helpful indeed.

And unkind.

Jobsharenightmare · 26/04/2021 19:56

I would also look at how often he is having chocolate and cake and stop that for someone so little so that he doesn't have an association between behaviour and treats.

BlueJag · 26/04/2021 19:57

I do a plate of bits for our son. For example on a plate with divisions have a mini sándwich say one slice of bread with a little butter and cheese, a slice or two of cucumber, a little apple, grapes, raisins anything colourful it's likely that he'll eat something. It's human nature to pick at things. It doesn't matter if he eats only little. Finger food it's the best at this stage. You can do a little pasta no sauce, sweet corn. See if that works ♥️

1forAll74 · 26/04/2021 20:06

I think that perseverance is the key, to get a small child to eat something. Trying little amounts of different things to tempt them, but not junky food,as they will get used to junk stuff. and sweet things. I think you have to kind of train a small child, to eat small amounts of the food that you consider to be good.

Sidesaladofchips · 26/04/2021 20:25

@BlueJag

I do a plate of bits for our son. For example on a plate with divisions have a mini sándwich say one slice of bread with a little butter and cheese, a slice or two of cucumber, a little apple, grapes, raisins anything colourful it's likely that he'll eat something. It's human nature to pick at things. It doesn't matter if he eats only little. Finger food it's the best at this stage. You can do a little pasta no sauce, sweet corn. See if that works ♥️
This is good advice. When my 3 yo went through fussiness and still does sometimes, I use a tray or plate with different sections and fill it with different bits and don't worry about mixing sweet and savoury: plain pasta, peas, sweetcorn, cubes of cheese, boiled / steamed veg (carrot wheels are popular), cherry tom's halved, fruit, crackers, cubes of chicken or fish. My DC likes the novelty and different colours. Recently I serve roast dinners like this and it all gets polished off. We do eat with our eyes after all.

I agree with PP that there is nothing wrong with weetabix or toast for dinner occasionally. My DC also loves a fruit pot and I serve with soldiers to make it a bit more of a substantial snack.

Good luck!

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 26/04/2021 20:28

He isn't a baby, he's a 2 year old and is pushing boundaries.

I would take him away from the table, then at hourly or so intervals offer a healthy savoury but filling option - some peanut or almond butter toast (make sure it's the no sugar peanut butter) cheese and crackers, baked beans, a piece of eggy bread etc. Cut out the sweet treats if they are affecting him accepting normal meals.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 26/04/2021 20:32

Probably too late now, but if he never had cake or chocolate in the past it would not be a problem now

No, but OP would likely have a different similarly restrictive problem but just with a similarly sweet easy food - fruit, or yoghurt probably. A friends son refused to eat anything but bananas for a while. It's not acceptable behaviour and it's not a nutritionally balanced, the fact that he wants chocolate/cake is not the point. Most 2 year olds will discover these things exist, it's a joyless parent who doesnt let a toddler have a birthday cake or small Easter egg.

Original poster
LittleMG · 26/04/2021 20:32

@user648482729

My DD went through this stage and I’d always offer her something to eat before bed (toast, cereal, crackers etc) as at that age I think they’re too young to understand it. Since she turned 3 I started saying that if she didn’t eat at least some of her dinner then there would be nothing else and she’s old enough to understand consequences now and as long as she eats some of her dinner then I don’t mind giving her a snack later on too but it’s rare that she asks.
This is what I’ll be doing from now on. I think I’ve expected too much from him but deep down I knew he was too young to really understand. This thread has helped me a lot. First to get perspective and second to not expect too much. Thanks for your comment x
OP posts:
Mix56 · 26/04/2021 20:34

My daughter is now 32. when she was little, she would eat porridge, bread/toast & butter, pasta with butter, kiri, salami, crisps, petit suisse.
She never, ever ate anything else.
We fought evern fight, cried all the tears, blackmailed, cajoled, spoke to doctors,
There are only so many fights you can fight.
The woman at the school canteen said she had never seen a child eat one grain of rice in three nibbles.
She now eats multiple foods & cooks an amazing variety of oriental & diverse foods, is healthy, slim, beautiful.
My advise is to relax, keep proposing healthy food, & never give in to chocolate/biscuits/cake.

Original poster
LittleMG · 26/04/2021 20:34

I will try this thank you x

OP posts:
NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 26/04/2021 20:35

Also OP, don't leave him sat at the table if he's rejecting the food you are offering. Get him down, pop it in the oven to stay warm and then send him off to play for 15-20mins, then bring him back to try again. It can break the cycle and make sure he's not getting loads of attention for sitting nagging you for cake.

Jellybabiesforbreakfast · 26/04/2021 20:35

My DS was always more malleable about trying new foods when we were out and he was in the buggy. So if we were going somewhere over lunch time, I used to bring a little container of couscous or pasta salad or something like that and he'd usually give it a go because we were out in the fresh air and he was hungry and distracted. I did have to spend quite a lot of time cleaning the buggy (!) but got him to eat lots of new foods this way.

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 26/04/2021 20:36

@Georgyporky

Probably too late now, but if he never had cake or chocolate in the past it would not be a problem now.
Oh perlease!!!!!
TopTabby · 26/04/2021 20:36

My dd is 20 now but she broke me quite a few times at this age!
I was surrounded by mums with dc who ate everything they lovingly prepared & I felt like a total failure.
A really kind lady who ran the local playgroup really helped when she asked me if dd would eat cereal, toast & fruit. I replied that she would & she said that I wasn't to worry or compare dd to others as she was healthy & lively & it would all be OK.
And it was, she was fussy as a toddler but got better as she got older. I'm so glad I took the advice & didn't waste time on needless battles over food. You're doing all the right things.
I'm glad he's had a bit of something now & hope you get a good night's rest OP x