How can you lose weight safely if you have ever had an eating disorder?

[StayingAfloat21]

I suffered from a brutal eating disorder in the past, but have been in recovery for over a decade. Very happy and comfortable in my eating habits. No interest in my weight at all, really. Weigh myself once or twice a year just to keep an eye on it.

But now after not weighing myself for about a year my BMI has gone up to 28. Probably due to less activity with pandemic but I also have to take a steroid and this probably doesn't help.

I'm worried about cardiovascular health especially as I already have some issues with blood pressure.

It makes me seriously uncomfortable to have to focus on weight loss, I just don't think it's mentally what i should do and what if it threatens my long spell in recovery? But at the same time - I'm now quite seriously overweight?! I don't want to damage my health and wellbeing in any direction, mental or physical.

How do you balance these two competing needs, if you have ever been in this position?

Oh and in case it's relevant - at the moment, the numbers on the scale are not making me feel strange. I genuinely like my body, even though it's pleasantly plump

I absolutely 100% do not want to go back to the place where the numbers make me feel self-loathing and revulsion. The idea of that terrifies me.

Personally I find it incredibly hard. My BMI is higher than yours and I have tried a few things such as slimming world but I'm straight back into the obsessive zone. I follow it to the letter it impacts my life but I lose weight and so that just spurs me on more. It absolutely petrifies me going down that slippery slope again and I stop following it.

This is so hard and I'm in a similar situation but BMI shockingly near thirty. I sometimes wistfully yearn for the days of my ed even though I know the yearning is a lie. I was told when in recovery that I would never get fat and I didn't until the pandemic and a combination of illness, agorophobia, grief and miscarriage.

It's so hard so be gentle with yourself. I'm reading Tim Spector's the diet myth, recommended by a friend. It's about eating as many good foods as possible and making that your focus.

I'm sure there'll be someone along with better advice soon.

You really should talk with a specialist as you do this. There are dieticians who work a lot with people with / recovering from ED and they can help make a balanced plan and track how you're doing, they'd also have good contacts if you find it is stressing you out and you'd like to speak to a counsellor etc. You'd have to do it privately as provision on the NHS is shite, but it will be far less costly than ending up in a bad way.

One other thing to consider is that while a BMI of 28 carries some risks, reviving your eating disorder is far far far more likely to kill you or cause significant long term health damage. If you can be physically active, eating a nutritious diet, and psychologically healthy that is way more important than numbers on a scale.

You've done a great job to get to this place, you can do it. And be really really honest with yourself about the little voice that says "I don't want to be skinny, I'm just worried about health, honest", because that voice may not be one with your best interests at heart...

I focus on nourishing my body with real foods which will allow my body to do what it wants without restricting myself.

So, instead of eggs on toast for breakfast, I’ll now have eggs with potato skillet.

Instead of a sandwich and crisps for lunch, I’ll make a chicken stir fry (no sauces, soy sauce is lovely and some fresh garlic and ginger if you want a kick!

Instead of fish fingers and chips in the oven with beans, I’ll have salmon with new potatoes, loads of butter and veg.

Snacks are fruit / glass of full fat milk.

So, real, high fat, natural foods. Never hungry but limited sugar so you feel better in every way.

Very happy and comfortable in my eating habits

Then stay away from changing these.

Can you increase your exercise? Maybe choose something that's more for fun, with the added bonus that it will improve fitness.

It's so difficult. Sending un-MNetty hugs to those who are also trying to figure it out.

And be really really honest with yourself about the little voice that says "I don't want to be skinny, I'm just worried about health, honest", because that voice may not be one with your best interests at heart...

Oh, I'm being totally frank with myself. I can NEVER afford to have an eating disorder again, that's non-negotiable. I really don't want to be skinny, I was very relaxed when my BMI has been 25 and 26, which technically is in the overweight zone but didn't bother me.

I felt that being a little overweight at times was almost no threat to my health in any way, whereas trying to diet would have been.

Can you increase your exercise?

Yes. I've just been so inactive for a year, my 'fun' sport shut down. But I do need to get on with it and do something else!

Also it's obvious in a way but dramatically cutting the wine should help

Wine is my vice.

I understand this completely. It's so hard. I start losing weight and I immediately get that euphoric rush that spurs me on to lose more, quicker, in more extreme ways.

I can’t. My brain decides to fuck me over in one way or another. Decided to lose christmas weight... I’m now almost 5 months into a fecking relapse.

You say you've gained the weight due to the pandemic and your usual sport has shut down. With things opening and going back to your old routine would help? If so it might just be best to just do nothing for now. A BMI of 28 is not massively high and if it is only for a short time won't be doing much harm compared to risking triggering your ED

@Bubblemonkey I'm so sorry about your relapse, that's shit

I think focus on limited/slow change that your body and mind can get used to gently.

Add in some extra exercise but keep it enjoyable and don't make it competitive or intense.

Focus on health rather than weight, so if BMI is 28 maybe your diet might be a little heavy on carbs/fat/sugar, maybe look at keeping lots of your favourite meals broadly the same but making small swaps, swap a proportion of the meat in a curry for lower calorie veg, have a slightly smaller serving of pasta, buy a plain yoghurt instead of one with added sugar. Swap a spoon of sugar in tea or coffee for a sweetener. Aim to allow your weight to reduce really slowly.

Focus on maintaining enjoying your food but making manageable swaps/portion adjustments and having a more active lifestyle.

I explored whether I could do it and I just got to the point where I was sick of the restriction and obsessions that started to come back. Like you, I have things in my life I won't risk for an ED anymore

I'm trying to hang out at my set point weight for a while now and just see how that feels. What I will always do though is eat loads of vegetables and fruit, lean protein, wholegrains, unsaturated fats. My diet is also vegan but genuinely for the animals/climate. And when I want chocolate or pizza or whatever I have it but it's just not all the time. This to me feels like nourishing my body and looking after myself.