To think he should pay for nursery?

8 replies

Buggeredoff · 26/04/2021 07:56

I had to go back to work recently and my child’s father had a great job, which he lost due to an affair with the manager. So he could no longe contribute anything to nursery fees.

I recently found out he had a substantial loan and had a new girlfriend. She was quite well off and he took this loan he says to keep up with her and pay off debts. Long story short I saw no extra money than the maintenance as I never knew about the loan. Once I found out about the loan he said he has nothing left despite buying her gifts, booking holidays. Now he has a rubbish paying job and told me he would be able to help this month towards nursery, he has just told me he can’t afford to. Obviously I know he can’t get blood from a stone but I’m so so so annoyed that he’s been living it up while I’ve been struggling. Another month I’ve had to pay for it alone

OP posts:

emilyfrost · 26/04/2021 07:59

It’s awful but if he’s paying the required maintenance there isn’t anything you can do to force him to pay more.

DDiva · 26/04/2021 08:01

It's so frustrating and seems unfair. However if he is eating maintenance that is all he I'd legally required to do. I think you need to stop expecting any more as it sounds like he only ever let's you down.

yoyo1234 · 26/04/2021 08:03

I have limited understanding of CMS. I have for interest gone to the website and plugged in a few numbers.What amazes me is it does not appear to take into account extra things (required) such as nursery/childcare costs. These things I think should be factored in the system as it stands seems so in favour of NRP allowing them to pass responsibility to RP.

FTEngineerM · 26/04/2021 08:03

If he was 50/50 with you then he’d either have to give up work on those days or OU for nursery, I don’t see how he feels like he has an option in this and you don’t?

You sure didn’t make this baby alone, can you just tel him if he doesn’t have the money to pay nursery you’ll drop them round 3.5 days per week? And just let him figure it out?

DDiva · 26/04/2021 08:05

paying not eating !

yoyo1234 · 26/04/2021 08:06

Oops, typos.....
These things, I think, should be factored in. The system, as it stands, seems so in favour of NRP allowing them to pass responsibility to RP.

Original poster

Buggeredoff · 26/04/2021 08:08

Exactly! He takes jobs not even thinking about the hours because it’s down to me to sort childcare. He admitted he wouldn’t want 50/50 probably due to childcare costs. I know he doesn’t legally have to pay any extra but god does it piss me off being the one picking up the pieces time and time again

OP posts:

FTEngineerM · 26/04/2021 08:47

Assuming he’s not totally inept as a parent and would in fact look after them properly I’d just drop them over.

He needs to figure it out, like you have, on so many occasions.

Flip