Why can't I enjoy nice times ?!

[lollipoprainbow]

I had a lovely day yesterday, I had an extremely rare child free day and I met a friend in a pub garden, we drank wine all afternoon in the sun and it was so nice. I spent the rest of the evening feeling fed up that it was all over, I'd looked forward to it for a while. I always get this when I've had a nice time, I almost have to block it out of my head rather than reminisce about how nice it was. What's wrong with me ?!

I’m the same!

Are you single OP?

My 'D'H left me a few weeks ago and I tend to find that when I'm busy and have company I'm absolutely fine and enjoy myself but when it comes to an evening, DD is in bed (early, 17mo) I sit and let myself get fed up and I assume it's because I'm lonely!

Hope you're okay. Always here for a chat!

That is a bit strange, normally people just move on to the next thing their doing.

Maybe it’s because it was such a rare occasion you being child free and your frustrated about that rather than going out?

Yes I'm single and I think it was because I'd like to do it more often but it's not really possible.

Do you suffer from “internal auditing?” It’s a terrible habit,

“Am I happy?”
“What about now?
“ Something is wrong, what’s wrong?”
“Anxious about something, what is it?”
“Am I happy?”

On and on, it will stop when I am distracted but can drag me down a dark hole if I’m not careful!

Maybe you just went in a downer because you’d been day drinking? If I have wine st lunchtime I’m angry or depressed by the evening.

Did you have a child free night as well, or did you have to come back and do dinner, bathtime etc? That would sober anyone up

@Anycrispsleft no! I had to do dinner etc, I think it was having a glimpse of life before children that did it, as much as I adore my dd it was nice to be doing adult things

That is a bit strange, normally people just move on to the next thing their doing.

I'm not sure I agree. DD gets like this sometimes. She doesn't have a many friends at home, and on the rare occasion she gets to do something nice she always has this feeling of anti-climax afterwards because fun outings are so rare, and it highlights just how lonely she is most of the time.

@RampantIvy my dd too, she had a great day with her best friend at a theme park for her birthday and got home and was a bit down too.

Have something else to look forward to.
Put some more occasions in the diary. Do you have friends with Dcs who might want to do some days or afternoons out?

I totally get this feeling! Absolutely agree with the concept of scheduling regular things to look forward to...even if that’s a nice long bath, a glass of wine or a movie you’ve added to your “watch list”...I’ve also found it helpful to consciously remember those good times I’ve had...I can say to myself, “I enjoyed myself then! I know I can and will again in future.” I know it’s tough, practically and emotionally (I’m a single mum too). Sending peaceful vibes 💐

Thank you @MessedOfTimes

Yes I get this feeling! I often don’t want things to end and can be sad when they have. I think it is partly when you don’t have a “next thing” to look forward to. It’s particularly hard at the moment with COVID restrictions and uncertainty. You don’t know when you’ll next be able to do x y or z.

That is a bit strange, normally people just move on to the next thing their doing.

^
Don’t agree with this. I don’t think there’s any “normally” and what the OP reports is clearly quite common from this thread! It might be that you (pp) move on but I wouldn’t say most people necessarily do.

We are supposed to be with people, we are social beings, your sadness comes from withdrawing from a place you felt comfortable and happy, back to drudgery of cooking dinner. Go next week again, and the week after and maybe the feeling will lift.

I've taken the bull by the horns and booked a nice pub for Sunday lunch in a couple of weeks!!

@MessedOfTimes

I totally get this feeling! Absolutely agree with the concept of scheduling regular things to look forward to...even if that’s a nice long bath, a glass of wine or a movie you’ve added to your “watch list”...I’ve also found it helpful to consciously remember those good times I’ve had...I can say to myself, “I enjoyed myself then! I know I can and will again in future.” I know it’s tough, practically and emotionally (I’m a single mum too). Sending peaceful vibes 💐

This is an excellent idea! Make sure you have plenty of things to look forward towards. I think I might try it...

My parents had my DB and SIL visiting this weekend (staying in a hoiliday cottage nearby) - the first time they have seen them for 8 months. They left at lunchtime today to travel home.
Tonight, my parents told me what a disappointing afternoon they had had because it had drizzled.

I know this was just the kind of reaction tou are describing OP, from having had a lovely time that is now over. But I just hoped the 'bounce' from the weekend might last them a few days at least!