My husband left me for a woman 19 years younger than him, but kept it 'secret'. He pretended to both me and our three children (15 and 12 yr old twins) that he was leaving because he no longer believed in the concept of marriage and that he was more suited to life in London and Los Angeles, not the small town that we live in. This was two years ago and I have had a horrific two years of fear and the beginning of the divorce process, which is hard because he continues to lie and hide things. I've coped but it's been hard. I've had to come to terms with the fog I was in in my marriage and how fucking awful it was. I found out about the girlfriend quite early on. She's complicated and is very much helping him with hiding money etc. The kids haven't seen him much, but yesterday they had a weekend at his flat in London. He did the whole 'flash dad' thing. Took them on a river boat . . . loads of treats etc. He told them about the girlfriend. They are living together so difficult to hide but she was staying somewhere else this visit. He lied and said he's been seeing her for a year, when he actually has been seeing her for between 3 and 4 years. He had a secret flat with her before he even told me his idea about the concept of marriage. No responsibility or accountability. It has affected me so badly (him formally telling the children) I couldn't pull myself out of the misery of it all, and the lies and hurt and betrayal. I ended up phoning the Samaritans. I still feel like utter utter nothingness. I just want to curl up and die. I feel pathetic. Like I should be further on by now and that this reaction is childish.