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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think I could study on maternity leave?

140 replies

SunflowerOwl · 25/04/2021 18:14

Not sure if this is a crazy plan or not, but there is qualification I've been wanting to do for ages and I'm wondering I'm my upcoming maternity leave would be a good time.

The course takes approx 10 weeks to complete but there are online providers that let you do it over a year before booking onto the exam.

I'm due at the end of August but have a big chunk of holiday (around 6 weeks) that I was planning on taking before, and then I'm going to take 10 months leave when the baby is here.

Is it completely mad to think this is possible? It's all stuff I know bits about from my job so it would just be getting the formal training.

OP posts:

Confusedaboutlots · 26/04/2021 00:11

each to their own. i find it much easier now i have a toddler. my day job (city lawyer) and mothering a toddler is not as tricky as those first few months alone with my newborn - where she didn’t want to leave my breast for days on end.

The3Ls · 26/04/2021 06:42

Yes I could have with my first who was a "medium" baby I'd say. Had reflux and milk allergy but slept. But her dad totally stepped up and did 50% of parenting when not working.

My second easy baby but juggling two much harder and I was just so tired. I think I am just recovering from permanent tored a decade later.

Justjoinedforthis · 26/04/2021 06:47

I had my baby the sept of my final year of uni ( distance learning) and it was fine! But yes depends on the baby/time management /your health.

SeaTurtles92 · 26/04/2021 06:49

I took my final exams for my job whilst pregnant.
My course was 2 years, one night a week for 2 hours.

I passed all my exams and oral exams on the 1st July and had my DS on the 6th July! Just in time!

I'd use your annual leave to maybe look into it though.

Twizbe · 26/04/2021 06:53

You could totally do 40hrs study in those 6 weeks before baby.

After baby arrives, it so depends and tbh I wouldn't put any pressure on yourself to do it.

Some babies sleep loads and you'll be able to do it, some don't and you won't lol.

mynameiscalypso · 26/04/2021 07:05

@Ginger1982

Dear God, no. Enjoy your baby.

The two aren't mutually exclusive.

Flappityflippers1 · 26/04/2021 07:11

I continued my OU degree when my son was newborn, it was fine. He napped like clockwork and went 4-5 hours between feeds early on.

Just had DS2.... I can barely shower or get dressed, Christ alive he’s a clingy needy baby! Feeds every 1.5 hours, has to be in contact at all times, cries over the littlest thing - I’d have no chance of studying with this one!

OneCalamerra · 26/04/2021 07:15

So it’s only 40 hours in total and you have up to a year to do it? Yes that sounds ok - even with my eldest (difficult baby) I could have done that.

confusedofengland · 26/04/2021 07:21

As others have said, it really depends on your baby & also how you feel after the birth. I didn't do anything after DC1 but very easily could have. After DC2 - so when I had a 2-year old & a newborn - I took on a new job working from home & did 15 hours per week, often more, while DC1 was at nursery/napping (which he reliably did for 3 hours every day at the same time) & DC2 napped or sat in his bouncy chair. Both were very laidback babies. I would find it more difficult to do now that I have 3 DC & they are all at school, as DS2 actually has very high SEN & there is a lot more to do around the house than back then. But I was very lucky with the baby days.

Lauz841 · 26/04/2021 07:36

I have 1 online 60 credit module of my masters degree left to complete the degree and graduate, and it’s booked and paid for beginning 1st of November. Baby is due 20th of September so will be approx 6 to 9 weeks old when I begin. Although it’s going to be hard, the other option would be to defer for a year and then do it when baby is 1 year old. I think that will be much worse because they sleep less in the day, run, climb and you need eyes in the back of your head. At least babies are immobile and (hopefully) nap a bit more.
I would try to get as much done as you can in the 6 weeks annual leave, then give yourself a few months off then pick up the rest and finish it before booking the exam. Good luck! X

bageljam · 26/04/2021 07:42

I am in awe of the people who study whilst looking after a baby - I was knackered (and depressed) and couldn't have done it.
DC was premature so I never got the extra weeks of holiday I'd booked before maternity leave and I'm still bitter some years on.

An0n0n0n · 26/04/2021 07:53

If its related to your job could you consider asking your employer to support you doing it?

It might be possible after baby is napping regularly, which for me was around 9 months, or weekends if OH can take baby out for a few hours. But i had the same idea and glad i didn't, i was exhausted and touched out and glad of 30 mins peace, racing off to study wpuld have given me stress i don't need.

Baby gets some free childcare at 2/3 so you could jiggle your hours/ extra nursery days then?

Getoffmyhat · 26/04/2021 07:56

It's hard to say really. With my first I had loads of time where he napped really well (sleeping at night was a different issue though!) And instead of sleeping when he napped, I preferred to do things. I set up a crochet business and kept my hands busy.
With ds2 who is now 6 months I have hardly no time to myself. He only contact naps (if he naps at all!) And that doesn't leave me very mobile. This is with loads of support from DH who has been furloughed. Every evening I get half an hour to check emails and do a few bits and then I'm off to bed again. I do feel like we are past the worst of it though as ds2 is now sleeping well in his own room.

Temp023 · 26/04/2021 07:56

Yep, I was going to learn German while on maternity leave with my first..

Ah, bless me, the naivety!

Snoodleberry · 26/04/2021 08:00

I started an MBA when my baby was four months old, with a supportive husband who stepped in and took holiday when I had to study or attend an online class. Tough at times, but doable, actually much harder now I am back at work full time as well. Have to remind myself occasionally that it will be worth it for all of us at the end!

Wabe · 26/04/2021 08:36

@bageljam

I am in awe of the people who study whilst looking after a baby - I was knackered (and depressed) and couldn't have done it. DC was premature so I never got the extra weeks of holiday I'd booked before maternity leave and I'm still bitter some years on.

Honestly, I hated maternity leave, which I found dull and isolating, and DS was a challenging baby who only napped on me — it was writing a book that got me through it and saved my sanity.

Babyboomtastic · 26/04/2021 08:52

I think what people don't always take account of is that baby work kind of expands to fit the time available. Most people when they have their first baby find it pretty all consuming, and wonder how people manage with more than one child, or twins. But people do. People often say on here that having a baby is a full time job, but then what is twins, or a baby and a toddler. It's not easy, but people manage. People might say 'when I had a baby I barely even had time to eat' and yet if they had an older child or twins, then they'd have to find that time, and generally they do.

Basically, it's human nature to feel your are at capacity until more gets put on your, and then somehow you manage.

It's how once you have your second child, if you only have the baby for the day, it feels like a day off, even though just having a baby for the day initially used to feel hard.

So I think it's easy to think it's impossible to work out study with a small baby, but people do all the time, and it becomes normal for them.

WorkingItOutAsIGo · 26/04/2021 08:54

Sorry but no.

FTEngineerM · 26/04/2021 09:02

@bageljam

I am in awe of the people who study whilst looking after a baby - I was knackered (and depressed) and couldn't have done it. DC was premature so I never got the extra weeks of holiday I'd booked before maternity leave and I'm still bitter some years on.

I mean, what do you do otherwise whilst going through the lost isolating period of your life to maintain intellectual challenge?

I’m in my final year, my final year project is due 3 days before my second baby.

This year has been rough, but being able to carry on using my brain at a time when otherwise for the first 6m at least life consisted of changing shitty nappies and sitting down whilst I fed him it has probably protected my mental health.

I cannot wait to graduate and concentrate on my two babies, I really can’t, but this will so be worth it when I can work less and be with them more for the same money.

bageljam · 26/04/2021 09:12

@Wabe @FTEngineerM You are those people I'm talking about being in awe of ;-)

I made an effort to go to as many groups etc. that I could (pre-COVID), but I was generally racked with anxiety and guilt if I wasn't paying attention - assuming that DC would wake up whenever I tried to do more than washing up. Obviously I know better now - and realise how much my mental health had an impact, which I couldn't predict - although definitely don't want to do it again.

IbrahimaRedTwo · 26/04/2021 09:16

10 weeks at 4 hours a week? I would say easily.

I started my masters when my 2nd DD was 2 weeks old and was 2nd year of my PhD when my 3rd DD was born. Never stopped.

Wabe · 26/04/2021 09:21

[quote bageljam]**@Wabe* @FTEngineerM* You are those people I'm talking about being in awe of ;-)

[/quote]
You're very nice, but I deserve no awe. I was completely miserable during maternity leave not helped by having to move rather hurriedly from London to a deeply insular village during a record-breakingly cold winter with a challenging small baby, where the groups were unfriendly and kindred spirits were thin on the ground and having a book on the go kept me from going completely mad. And the good thing about fiction is that you can do a fair bit of planning while walking/holding a baby who will only nap on you etc.

Oilpyi · 26/04/2021 09:24

I think my first it would’ve been difficult, but maybe doable. With my third I carried on a year of my masters.
What you need is clear time though. Either a dp who will reliably leave you in peace at a scheduled time for a few hours (and not keep presenting with the baby is hungry/ doesn’t know how to stop crying/ wants mummy). Or a friend family member who will do this. You can’t mentally switch into work if half your brain is focused on the next wake up/feed etc. It’s more head space than anything. You may physically have time, but you can’t switch your brain to work.

Babyboomtastic · 26/04/2021 10:01

I think @Oilpyi may have found the key to this. Some people need a clear head to properly get into work/a task, and if they don't know if the 'slot' is going to last 10 minutes or 2 hours, then find it very hard to do. Others find that ok. Neither is the right way to approach things, and I'm not sure how easy it is to change from one to another.

Wabe · 26/04/2021 10:09

@Babyboomtastic

I think *@Oilpyi* may have found the key to this. Some people need a clear head to properly get into work/a task, and if they don't know if the 'slot' is going to last 10 minutes or 2 hours, then find it very hard to do. Others find that ok. Neither is the right way to approach things, and I'm not sure how easy it is to change from one to another.

I think that's right. I was writing fiction (which you can plan in your head of unable to get to a desk), and academic essays which are just about manageable in short bursts, but I couldn't have written a full-length academic book on maternity leave.

I do think I personally have got less good down the years at just managing to fit work in available tiny slots without time to 'clear my head' -- probably because I haven't had to do it anywhere near as much. The type of project will make a difference, too. I'm pretty sure I couldn't have written the book I'm working on now on maternity leave.

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