AIBU to worry about Roblox and safeguarding?

[Grimbelina]

I don't know if anyone else has read the article below but I have a child who has just discovered Roblox and I am trying to understand how a 15 year old knows they are playing with a 6 year old. Here's a quote from the article:

“It’s a free game, you download it in 30 seconds and you’re playing against six-year-olds,” one 15-year-old trans player said.

Does this mean they are chatting with them? That the 6 year old is telling them they are 6?

Another worrying quote from the person heading up their safeguarding:

"...since we have this community of young players just starting out their journey online, we also want to go beyond safety and actually give them some life skills as they are growing up, through promotional campaigns and by highlighting different voices in the Roblox community."

What are these life skills? What is going 'beyond safety'?

www.theguardian.com/games/2021/apr/24/in-the-game-i-knew-myself-as-hannah-the-trans-gamers-finding-freedom-on-roblox

Well its like anything isnt it, you have to manage the risk.

• username that does not give away name or location
• no chat function
• only accept friend requests from people you know irl
• parental supervision

Or just don't do it at all. Miles better for their brains and safer.

But people don't want to be told that because sticking their kids in front of a screen is much easier.

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale

Well its like anything isnt it, you have to manage the risk.

• username that does not give away name or location
• no chat function
• only accept friend requests from people you know irl
• parental supervision

Don't allow your child to put a year as part or their username. A surprising number of kids will have names like EvieT2015 or ZombieKiller2011 which could attract the wrong sort.

Finally fully read the article. The trans angle bothers me a lot.

Here are two quotes from the article that I thought were very irresponsible:

"In a game you can choose your gender. Go in as female and no one knows you’re biologically male. You can escape real life and have a completely new identity. As soon as I got on the computer, I just knew myself as Hannah.”

And

“Online, you can get rid of all the baggage of real life,” she says. “You have no idea about someone’s background, what school they go to, what their face looks like. All you need to know is that they play games, they’re nice and they’re accepting of you.”

To me, those are two major safeguarding red flags on the way these young people are using the game.

I'm sure that there are ways that children can play Roblox safely, but I'm astounded that the Guardian just took these descriptions at face value as positive aspects of online gaming and didn't so much as mention the obvious risks involved in children chatting online with strangers.

Totally agree with you @stackthecats. It’s depressing to me that it’s now not only seen as normal but actively responsible parenting to have children as young as 3 years old sit in front of a screen tapping/swiping.

There’s more and more evidence to show it’s bad for social skills, development, mental health and physical health to have children playing on screens rather than with Lego, playdough, board games, paper and pen, skipping ropes, sticks, mud, etc etc, but we’re being fed this line over and over that “well, they need to learn to regulate and how to use it!”

It’s capitalism’s convenient fairy tale, but it’s nice to swallow because it gives us a (welcome) break from parenting, and we can pretend it’s actually good for our children.

And it’s not something worth hoping for a discussion on here about - MN is the land where giving toddlers their own tablets is A-OK.

@Workingfromhomeishell

Or just don't do it at all. Miles better for their brains and safer.

But people don't want to be told that because sticking their kids in front of a screen is much easier.

Oh yeah, so much easier playing with a kid and being told I'm doing it all wrong.

In all fairness she IS better than me at obbys , but she doesn't have to be so show offy about it.

@AccidentallyOnPurpose

Finally fully read the article. The trans angle bothers me a lot.

Sounds like we agree on that at least, Accidentally!

The 2 examples are weird.

My children see people online as people to beat or cooperate with in the game. Real humans tend to be a bigger challenge/help than AI. If they chat to you in Roblox, it will be a game where trading items gets you ahead. It's purely functional and as long as you don't fleece them then that's fine. They don't give a shit who or where you are and what your life story may be.

@Monkeyrock

Totally agree with you *@stackthecats*. It’s depressing to me that it’s now not only seen as normal but actively responsible parenting to have children as young as 3 years old sit in front of a screen tapping/swiping.

There’s more and more evidence to show it’s bad for social skills, development, mental health and physical health to have children playing on screens rather than with Lego, playdough, board games, paper and pen, skipping ropes, sticks, mud, etc etc, but we’re being fed this line over and over that “well, they need to learn to regulate and how to use it!”

It’s capitalism’s convenient fairy tale, but it’s nice to swallow because it gives us a (welcome) break from parenting, and we can pretend it’s actually good for our children.

And it’s not something worth hoping for a discussion on here about - MN is the land where giving toddlers their own tablets is A-OK.

Definitely, more and more I feel nostalgic for my own childhood grubbing about in the garden and reading books. Took my kid and a friend to the park yesterday and they spent three hours just playing with sticks on a bit of grass and still described it as "the best playdate ever".

It makes me utterly sad to think what kind of society we're sliding into. And tbh it's stuff like this put out by the Guardian, a paper I used to read when I was young for actual progressive opinion, which makes me want to join a deep ecology movement and live off grid in a cabin for the rest of my life

@RainingZen

My DD has been using Roblox for a year (now age 11), she hasnt encountered bad language or inappropriate chat. The worst was a supposed school mate who had previously picked on my DD at school, being very aggressive and unreasonable during group Skype calls, and some nasty comments in Chat flying in both directions. Promptly put a stop to that. And no worse than DD being called names, pushed over and kicked IRL which is what was happening the previous term at school.

"Life skills" and "going beyond safety" a huge YES. Being able to participate in group games, manage your time online (most kids i know have restricted hours on apps), engaging in group Skypes whilst you play, learning how to play without dominating the games/calls and negotiating when the group will switch games to play something different, sharing (lots of gifting and roleplay in Roblox).

So far the pros definitely outweigh the cons. My DD is better at hosting a conference call now than most adults I know.

Couldn't agree with this more. My DC's started early and have years of experience behind them. They are still developing and learning skills in this medium and I'm very glad.

We have no supervision as such digitally, what we do have is a ban on all electronics upstairs (phones, tablets etc) and the pc are parked in the living room.

We haven't owned a TV for 15+ years and don't miss it.

Jeez the pro kids gaming contingent are a depressing bunch.

Head in the sand technology is new so it must be good.

Very sad parenting.

Poor kids.

@Workingfromhomeishell

Jeez the pro kids gaming contingent are a depressing bunch.

Head in the sand technology is new so it must be good.

Very sad parenting.

Poor kids.

Hmmm I see the people in favour of technology being articulate and reasoned and then there's you being just sort of unpleasant.

Personally I can see both sides of the argument and am aiming for a child who is able to cope with the inevitable technological advances that will happen though his life time whilst also being imaginative and able to play in the woods with a stick..... you can have both!

@Workingfromhomeishell

Jeez the pro kids gaming contingent are a depressing bunch.

Head in the sand technology is new so it must be good.

Very sad parenting.

Poor kids.

Except the massive judgemental , "head tilt" generalisations come from from the anti gaming team.

For me personally, I state that it's good for MY kid . Not that it must be good for every kid.

It's also not an either or situation. Kids can ride bikes,play with sticks,make mud cakes AND game.

Your replies remind me of the negative opinion on reading and children spending hours with their nose in a book in the "olden days". Now everyone is reading Harry Potter while they're still in nappies and it's some kind of parenting badge of honour. Oh and the same was said about playing and toys the further you go back in history.

Will gaming be seen the same as books in years to come? I've got no idea. I don't really care either. I'm not making history, I'm raising a kid, in an as much a balanced way that I can , with a little bit of everything.

The argument here isn't really about whether tech or sticks are best for kids, though, is it? It's about whether online commercial gaming platforms are safeguarding kids properly, and whether the Guardian should be printing articles shilling for them when they have the potential to harm small children.

If Roblox was as safe as sticks in the garden I might still personally think it was a waste of time, but I wouldn't have as much of a problem with my kid playing it every so often.

stackthecats thank you for being so concise. This thread has morphed into mothers critiquing others parenting rather than looking at what Roblox is actually allowing and possibly promoting.

@Grimbelina

stackthecats thank you for being so concise. This thread has morphed into mothers critiquing others parenting rather than looking at what Roblox is actually allowing and possibly promoting.

Roblox isn't, the Guardian definitely are.

accidentally I agree with you. I'm not anti-tech per se (which would be pretty hypocritical as I spend most of my time attached to my phone, though I'm increasingly thinking I shouldn't be). But this tech at the moment is part of wider commercial interests which only see people and children as profit centres. Without better regulation and people realising what is going on, they get away with disappearing into lax regulatory and tax domains that prevent any form of proper regulation or safeguarding. And the Guardian ought to know better than to present this as great freedom and realising an "authentic" identity, rather than a sad tale of a young person who needed care and attention, and probably shouldn't have been left to moulder in their bedroom amongst the Pokemon plushies, to the point where they felt like "gender confirmation" surgery was the only answer to their problems

@stackthecats

accidentally I agree with you. I'm not anti-tech per se (which would be pretty hypocritical as I spend most of my time attached to my phone, though I'm increasingly thinking I shouldn't be). But this tech at the moment is part of wider commercial interests which only see people and children as profit centres. Without better regulation and people realising what is going on, they get away with disappearing into lax regulatory and tax domains that prevent any form of proper regulation or safeguarding. And the Guardian ought to know better than to present this as great freedom and realising an "authentic" identity, rather than a sad tale of a young person who needed care and attention, and probably shouldn't have been left to moulder in their bedroom amongst the Pokemon plushies, to the point where they felt like "gender confirmation" surgery was the only answer to their problems

Careful...that's twice now.

Tbh I have no issues with more regulations and scrutiny.

Like I said before, the Guardian article bothers me on many levels.

I'm not 100% happy with Roblox. I'm not with any of the big money making industries, but I navigate them and risk assess in my own way and do my best to help my daughter do the same. People think thats the easy way out. I believe it would be a lot easier to simply ban it , which is the other extreme of unfettered access to it.

AccidentallyOnPurpose it's so rare in online discourse to disagree vehemently, then come to agree, that now I feel like I've made a friend

TBH the Guardian was always a bit dodgy (its socialist politics in the early 2000s was always a bit "Visit Mariella Frostrup's top ten eco-spas!") but at least back then it wasn't advocating the "euphoric" feel of girls' tights as the dernier cri of feminist thought.

I hate roblox. My DC was on it briefly with no chat. In the end it was the disgusting games that made me delete it. Serial killers and flinging yourself down a cliff seemed incredibly popular. They play minecraft instead which at least has some thought to it.

@Workingfromhomeishell

Jeez the pro kids gaming contingent are a depressing bunch.

Head in the sand technology is new so it must be good.

Very sad parenting.

Poor kids.

Not at all. My children do loads of other stuff (they are 12 and 8).

But if you give your children absolutely no access to it at all, what will you do once they are old enough to do it at their friends, out of your sight? My stance is not that it must be good, but that it is part of life now and will be as they grow up. I can’t stop that. If I make it forbidden then as soon as they are able to get access elsewhere, without telling me, they will. My 12 year old now goes on a bus to and from school - I can’t control what the person who sits next to her has on their phone, or whether they show it to her.
And if they have no experience of online platforms, and then their friend lets them play, they will have no idea how to keep themselves safe.
In my view, it is better to accept that it is the world they are growing up in, and make sure they know how to navigate it safely. And I sure as hell want them to know they can talk to me about it and what they see. They need to know I am a safe place to come to. I do not want them seeing something that worries them but then be afraid of coming to me because they have broken a rule by looking in the first place.

I had a friend who was denied any television as a kid. All it did was make her determined to watch it when she came round on play dates. I was never denied it, but there were rules around it in my house - when it could be on, what we could watch. Online stuff is no different now. Making it forbidden just would not work for me and my family, making it ok but putting in rules and ensuring they understand how to navigate it, so they can keep themselves safe by the time I can’t watch them all the time, is my preferred way forward. So keep your poor parenting comments to yourself!

@PrincessTuna

I hate roblox. My DC was on it briefly with no chat. In the end it was the disgusting games that made me delete it. Serial killers and flinging yourself down a cliff seemed incredibly popular. They play minecraft instead which at least has some thought to it.

There are games like that, but there's also some that are really good. I love the Titanic game which has some fairly accurate detail. Basically, with Roblox and the rest of the internet, you have to teach your children to look for the good stuff.

"Basically, with Roblox and the rest of the internet, you have to teach your children to look for the good stuff"

Good luck with @GeorgeandHarold66! My DC is 6. I'll be shutting down anything with violence and suicide themes.