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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To persevere with these swimming lessons?

4 replies

IfIHaveToTellYouAgain · 25/04/2021 09:51

DD (just turned 4) had her first swimming lesson last Wednesday. Bearing in mind that due to COVID the last time she set foot in a pool she was 2 years old, I chose a national school with a good reputation and small class sizes. In the FAQs of their website they were very clear that at first they would be focusing solely on water safety, safe entry in and out of the pool etc.

When we got to the pool the teacher and all other adults were already poolside, so I had to get DD’s clothes off and send her through to the pool on her own, having not been introduced to anyone from the swim school. I’ll admit that did make me a little uncomfortable but DD is fairly confident and seemed fine with it so I sent her on her merry way and walked round to the viewing platform, which is at the other end of the pool. When I got there, DD and the other 3 children in the class were already sitting at the edge of the pool with their arm rings on. So far so good.

Something was said to the children and they started to get into the pool (I couldn’t hear what it was but DD says they were told to get in and hold on). DD watched the other 3 children turn on to their stomachs and slide backwards into the pool and copied them, except when she slid in she let go and sank. The lifeguard was on it straight away and when DD surfaced, got her to hold on to the pole. DD managed to get herself into an awkward position, lying on her back with the pole clutched to her chest. She was coughing and clearly upset by the incident, she was screaming ‘Mummy, help me!’. The lifeguard just kept calmly saying to her ‘just put your feet down’, DD was getting more and more distressed, screaming ‘help me please!’ This went on for what felt like a lifetime but was realistically about 3-4 minutes. It really upset me because I couldn’t get to her and I wanted to shout at the lifeguard ‘she doesn’t know how to put her feet down, can you help her please!’

Eventually the teacher dived in and helped DD, then proceeded to spend the rest of the lesson being really good with her, supported her and helped her regain her confidence, and when DD came out she said it was great but she doesn’t want to go back because she might sink again.

My dilemma is, did the school deal with the initial incident in the right way? I would have expected at the first lesson the children would have been shown how to enter and then supported to do so. Also, when DD was clearly distressed, was it right the way they reacted? With hindsight they actually didn’t make any drama out of it and were speaking very calmly to DD but I would have expected a bit more of an instant response to get her confidence back. I remember being really upset by something like this when I did swimming lessons at school, although the teacher wasn’t very nice anyway, so that might make a difference. At the end of the lesson children were just sent back to the changing room, there was no opportunity to talk to the teacher again.

I have been very positive to DD, when she has expressed concern about going back I’ve told her if she’s unsure just to ask the teacher to help her get in until she is confident doing it herself, but do you think I’ve made the right decision to send her back there? Is this the normal way swimming lessons are run and I just need to suck it up and trust that DD is safe?

OP posts:
rwalker · 25/04/2021 10:00

You need to take her back honestly I think they did the right thing they were on it and she was safe .
The biggest thing about water is not to panic and thats what children/people need to learn .
I think if you don't take her it could lead to her being frighten of water .
Wouldn't bring it up with her try and build her confidence focus on the positive bits of the lesson .
Swimming is so important .

IfIHaveToTellYouAgain · 25/04/2021 10:05

Yes that’s my dilemma, I know how important it is to learn and I know she was never really in danger, it was just so awful hearing her screaming for me and not being able to do anything 😭
I do think you’re right though, thank you

OP posts:
Hellocatshome · 25/04/2021 10:10

Yes take her back, if she was absolutely traumatised it might be different but she seems to have come out of it unscathed. If she says she is worried abiut sinking I would just tell her how last time that happened she came back up and the lifeguard and swim teacher were there to help her so even if she does go under the water she will come back up and nothing bad will happen to her. Maybe try and take her swimming a few times by yourself and just focus on putting her face in the water blowing bubbles, lrogressing to putting jer whole head under etc. Children who are not scared to be underwater will make much better progress in swimming.

IfIHaveToTellYouAgain · 25/04/2021 14:48

Thank you, I will do that 😊
The silly thing is she has no problem putting her head in water, she often dives under in the bath and has managed up to 10 seconds, she’s very water confident, I think she just got a fright that she couldn’t touch the floor.
Will definitely take her back and see how it goes, thank you

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