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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask you how I can get back on my bike?

54 replies

Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder · 24/04/2021 13:33

It's almost 2 years since I came off my bike, dislocating and breaking my shoulder. I've never been confident on a bike. I've very short legs and a stiff hip, so find the swinging over of my leg to get on hard work, then feeling trapped when I'm on it, as I liked to be able to touch the floor when I only occasionally rode my bike as a kid. I bought the bike that I fell off and it took me a year to get on it. I rode twice, then decided to take my son out for a ride. It was all ok, but then the accident. And I've ignored it ever since. I think I want a new bike with a "step through" gap instead of needing to swing my leg over. But is this just nerves talking? I've v short legs and have just sat on it again and feel quite shaky now, which is no way to be. Thankfully both kids love their bikes and I've hidden the fear from them, though the youngest doesn't want me to ride as he was there for the fall, the ambulance etc....Advice please! Ditch the bike, get back on existing bike, buy new? Have lessons? Who from? Where?

OP posts:
Landofthefree · 24/04/2021 15:43

It’s ok not to enjoy cycling. I’ve never felt confident on a bike, as I could never balance safely and I’m generally very uncoordinated. Your youngest DC may have the right idea about not wanting you to be injured again.

PicknM1x848 · 24/04/2021 17:30

I was out somewhere recently that had "Boris scooters"
Have you tried a scooter ?

LizzieMacQueen · 24/04/2021 17:40

Inspired by this thread I went cycling in sunny Central Scotland. Not too far (because of hills) but it was good to get out. Thanks OP.

Dutch bike owner here thinking of going electric.

SaucyHorse · 24/04/2021 17:51

Nothing wrong with a step through city bike if it suits the kind of riding you want to do. That kind of bike is fine for casual, easy paced rides on mostly paved surfaces. Short journeys, errands, riding with kids, that kind of thing. They can be great utility bikes.

You're correct that you shouldn't be able to touch the ground with both feet while seated. Proper stopping and starting is just something you should practise until it's automatic.

This video explains the motions in an easy to understand way.

Original poster
Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder · 25/04/2021 14:27

I feel a little bit tearful at the "not a natural cyclist" comment. Because I know I'm not. But I'm holding the family and myself back by not getting out on my bike and being scared. My accident almost cemented my fear that I was crap at cycling. I will watch the videos, raise seat and try getting on and off as instructed. I'm so grateful to everyone for commenting. I rode a bike every day on a German exchange in the past as that was how my partner got to school and it was just expected. Also did a long cycle on a school camp as a teaching assistant - again, was assumed I'd do it and so I got on with it. I need to get exercising and practising I think. I don't want to give up forever.

OP posts:
redcandlelight · 25/04/2021 14:42

tbh, if you only cycle very ocassionally and not long distances I would leavd the saddle slightly lover so that you can touch the ground with both feet when stopping.

redcandlelight · 25/04/2021 15:04

to add, I don't have a car and cycle everywhere.

I have a dutch style city bike and the pedals are not under the saddle but further forward. so I can have the saddle high enough for my knees but also am able to put my feet on the ground at traffic lights. if you have the rack full of shopping you don't want to tilt the bike and loose your apples all over the road.

FindingMeno · 25/04/2021 15:08

I did a free bikeability course as an adult.
It was fantastic to get more confident, met some lovely people in the same boat, and the instructors were extremely good and not at all pushy with good senses of humour.
I'd thoroughly recommend it.

Oblomov21 · 25/04/2021 15:20

Unfortunately you sound like you were never a confident cyclist in the first place. But having an accident is very unnerving. Dh didn't rude his bike to work for a month when he was knocked off recently.

I suggest a new bike. I have always had, and suggested My mum recently bought a very low frame, so there's hardly any stepping. Plus make it small. And whatever the technical right height for you, I'd semi ignore that, make sure it's really small, light, comfortable, so you feel totally safe.

SciFiScream · 25/04/2021 15:55

Do whatever it takes to get your confidence and enjoyment out of cycling first. When you've got that you can fiddle about with seat height etc. Just find the cycling joy first.

Whoever operates Bikeability in your area is likely to have a course for adults too.

My DD found her cycling joy today after months and years of refusal...and all because I almost gave her bike to her BFF!

Original poster
Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder · 25/04/2021 17:07

I think I will try Bikeability. I'm fine once on and moving but the stopping is when I worry. It was so horrible the pain and crunch of dislocating my shoulder that it really scared me. But I think wanting to ride is the thing. I don't want to not ride a bike. I would love to cycle to shop as well as work potentially and also with my kids. Thanks so much all. This is when Mumsnet really is good

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 25/04/2021 17:10

Go for it.
I could very vaguely ride but was very scared of falling off.
I loved the free feeling of cycling along once I gained confidence!

Rolypolybabies · 25/04/2021 18:47

I am very similar to you. I got a step through electric bike and it has improved everything. The extra power when needed makes me more confident.

SaucyHorse · 25/04/2021 19:22

Don't give up, I'm completely sure you can do it! And the right bike could make a big difference. Cycling is wonderful and I admire your perseverance!
Are you generally able to ride standing up on the pedals? I think that is a good thing to practise as well to break the idea that the saddle is integral to your control and safety - it is actually possible to ride a bike without a seat at all, though it would get tiring quite quickly.

curcurbita · 25/04/2021 19:55

I am another fan of step through bikes - if you are not aiming to cycle super fast they are totally fine and on a decent one you can do a reasonable distance (I do just over 11 miles a day on my step through hybrid, I'm sure you could do more). Also as said above if you have a relaxed/Dutch style city bike you don't have to be so far off the ground with the saddle at the right height - I have never been confident standing on the pedals and usually start cycling essentially seated but with one foot a bit on the ground.

Try finding a quiet side street or a nice off road but tarmac cycle path somewhere to build up your confidence, once you start again it does get easier Smile

Muffinbutton · 25/04/2021 20:05

I understand the anxiety OP. I broke my back falling off. I found it really hard to start cycling again, but when I did get back on it was very slowly and gently at first, just a short ride.

Gradually as I got more confident I managed longer bike rides. Remember to be proud of each little achievement, physically and mentally getting over an accident is hard work. I think it was mentally harder for me than it was physically.

Original poster
Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder · 25/04/2021 21:24

@Muffinbutton ouch. It's entirely mental now. I'm stronger than before but oh that fear. I need to get a grip. I might try tomorrow. Cycling out of the saddle or rather, pedalling standing up I'm ok with as I used to do a lot of spinning. I think learning how to stop by jumping down not putting feet down would be a good start

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 25/04/2021 21:37

It sounds like your bike might be too big for you. A common problem for shorter women. I think a step through frame combined with a bike that is the correct size will make a huge difference. Having the saddle too low makes your pedalling less efficient but if you feel happier with it low then do that to begin with. Cycling UK might be a good organisation to look into - they might be able to link you up with a local club or instructor, some lessons would be very worthwhile. I also think buying a bike is a bit of a minefield. There are a lot of terrible bikes available from the likes of Halfords. Second hand is usually far better but you have to know what you're looking for and also since covid bikes are generally much harder to come by. Or if you want to buy new go to a local bike shop NOT Halfords. But what I would do is check the make and model of anything that catches your eye, and look up online the size that would fit your height. For a new bike you need to pay £500 to get something reasonable. Hence second hand can be better.
Good luck - you can do it!

SciFiScream · 25/04/2021 22:18

[quote Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder]@Muffinbutton ouch. It's entirely mental now. I'm stronger than before but oh that fear. I need to get a grip. I might try tomorrow. Cycling out of the saddle or rather, pedalling standing up I'm ok with as I used to do a lot of spinning. I think learning how to stop by jumping down not putting feet down would be a good start [/quote]
When it comes to stopping anticipate where and when you are going to stop. Squeeze both brakes gently, then more firmly as you come to a stop. You'll have stopped pedalling so can stand forward on your pedals and step gently onto the ground as you stop.

I practice this with my two lines about a metre and half apart, pupils practice with one brake, then the other and then both brakes. The aim is to stop within the lives. Then once they've learned that I teach them how to do an emergency stop on a bike (keep your arms straight, weight back on the seat, feet down ASAP)

Anyway - practicing braking is a lesson in itself with lots of repeated session over the 6/8 week course. So don't feel bad about having to practice braking. It's a 'thing' you can learn and improve!

Original poster
Whoopstheregoesmyshoulder · 25/04/2021 22:20

I'm actually reassured to know I need to learn how to do it. My husband has very little patience, having grown up cycling from a young age with a bike mad father. I was gifted a very very old bike of my aunt's for cycling proficiency and taught myself to right by trial and error in our yard. No wonder I'm shit at it

OP posts:
FindingMeno · 26/04/2021 07:04

I was really scared of the whole stopping bit and having to get my feet on the ground.
Honestly, doing it with Bikeability in the way @SciFiScream explains really sorted out that fear. It felt quite natural.

Whatpaint · 26/04/2021 08:01

Definitely get a step through bike. I have one and it’s great. The fact it’s slightly heavier really won’t impact you unless you want to do serious cycling. For me the feeling of being able to get on/off easily way outweighs any downsides.

Somebody once said t me that there are bike riders and cyclists. I am definitely a bike rider!!

Good luck to you.

Littlebutload · 26/04/2021 08:09

Can you not just lower the saddle to a point where you can reach the ground with your feet? I'm not saying low enough for both feet flat on the ground, but the ball of toe feet? I've cycled forever (just casually) and can't imagine having to jump off the saddle to stop, that sounds mad. I just pull the breaks and put my feet down to balance while remaining seated. Maybe my way isn't technically correct but it works.

SciFiScream · 26/04/2021 10:06
SciFiScream · 26/04/2021 10:07

Bikeability Scotland braking session video above. Hope it helps.