To condense a very long story - we have a friend who is good bit older than us and has been through hell and high water in the time we've known him. He has significant long-term mental health issues and needs a lot of support. He comes over once a week and we spend the evening with him (in the garden at the moment, and it didn't happen during lockdown!). Over the years we've helped out with other things, such as attending court hearings with him and helping him sort out legal stuff, supporting him with PIP applications etc. He's not an easy person in some ways, but he's a good friend and very loyal.
When his father died I went to the funeral with him at his request, his daughter (he and his wife are separated) was quite little at the time, and I went ostensibly to look after her so he could concentrate on the funeral. He had a very rough childhood so the funeral was complicated for him emotionally. I did get the impression some of the family weren't impressed that I was there, though - understandably given that I didn't know the deceased and they didn't know me.
His mother died in very sudden circumstances a few weeks ago, and he's asked DH and I to go to the funeral and wake with him. His relationship with his mother was appalling, and her death, again, is very complicated for him. He says there won't be enough family coming to reach the limit of 30 people, and he would like us to come. I don't mind in principle - it's just a funeral - but I do feel a bit inhibited by the rest of the family and I worry that they will think it's weird that we keep pitching up to their family funerals. I did at least meet his mother, but I didn't know her. His family is pretty toxic and damaged, to say the least, and it will be a tough day for him - at least one of the siblings is in a worse state mentally than he is and my friend will be expected to be the one supporting and being strong, which is why he wants us there.
What do you think? Sorry it's an essay 