Working on it but my comparision to good husbands is dragging me back

I'm guessing you have separate finances?

In my view, if you're doing all the housework/childcare then he's earning on behalf of the family, and the income should all be joint. So you can buy your own jewellery.

But I suspect your set-up is different.

I like your plan. But also agree with *LannieDuck. Do you have access to his earnings?

Tip for surviving the next 2 years: read how to do everything and be happy. It will really help you break down your goals into manageable chunks and next steps. I think having part goals (is that what they're called in english) would help you along the way and feel as if you are making progress.

Ah, I've just read your other thread. There's a lot of really important information on there - you have a religious marriage that doesn't fall under UK law, and which means that you aren't entitled to any of his property/wealth (apologies if I've summarised that poorly, I'm paraphrasing).

You need some specialist advice on your position - there were some helpful links posted in the other thread.

Are they his children too?

Im surprised your not used to it by now!

You don’t need him to gift you items, you are not his priority. You are your priority and your kids. Stop loosing focus, study, work hard, earn your money and then by yourself jewels.

I know it’s shit for you and you have been truly stabbed in the back but history can not be changed. Your strong enough to do this yourself, you need to focus!!

Also, he probably bought her jewellery because his secretly shagging the woman at work- ignore it and move on!

Focus on you, you deserve too.

Hold on a minute ..

You say on your other thread that the house is jointly owned ? Then it matters not a jot that you are effectively cohabiting partners in the eyes of UK law.

You are in the UK so the ONLY law that is relevant is UK law. Hindu law has no jurisdiction in the UK.

You either hold the property as 'joint tenants ' or 'tenants in common' . If it's joint tenants then you will inherit his 'half' automatically regardless of who he thinks he has given it away to.. If it's tenants in common then he can leave his HALF to whoever he wishes... but CANNOT give away your share.
At worst YOU will still own half the value of the house.
At best it will all come to you. Doesn't matter what religion you are. No religious 'laws' take precedence over UK law if you live in the UK..

Also.... even though you are not legally married in the uk .. then there is still 'The children's Act' under which cohabiting spouses can apply for financial support for their children when divorcing or after the partners death.

You URGENTLY need to get yourself to a solicitor that deals with UK family law.. and away from one that gives any time of day to religious customs. It's entirely irrelevant !!

The house divide is the same if you leave /or he dies.

Personally I would leave now and get your half of the house ! No divorce required as you are not married (in uk law)

You can get a lawyer who can take their fees from your settlement.

Tell him you are leaving unless he marries you in a UK registry office. No need to tell anyone. Then his family will have nowhere to go if he dies /you divorce.
Don't forget that if you leave before marriage or divorce.. he still has to pay child maintenance as a % of his salary .. again this is the law and not optional !

Why do you think you have to stay? Surely being poor and alone is better than your life? Youre going round in circles and e9nt be happy. You arent the problem, you canglt change yourself to fix him, youll never be enough so dont waste your time trying.

@Frustratedbeyondbelief

The worst can actually be zero share of the house....not half. Yes, if OP is named as joint owner on the deeds, she owns half now and automatically gets his half of the house when he dies. But the house could be jointly owned by him and anyone...his sister, his mother. She has to be named as a joint owner. The fact she doesn’t know, means she’s not seen the deeds so there is no certainty that she is any kind of part owner of the house at all.

For tenants in common, again OP must be named as a tenant in common with a % share that can be as low as 1% of the house. It’s usually not a 50/50 split. So the worst if she is a tenant in common is a 1% share, not half. And yes, a tenant in common passes their share to whoever they name in their will or if intestate by U.K. precedence of beneficiaries/next of kin.

Even worse, OP could be neither a joint tenant or tenant in common, but a mere occupant with her partner being sole tenant/owner of the house or, as previously mentioned, her partner may be joint owner with his mother or sister.

In which case, because she is not officially married under U.K. law, the starting point is zero share of the house and no right to force a sale in the event of a split/relationship break down.

I agree OP needs specialist legal advice as to what her rights are to claim financial support for herself and their? children from her potential ex, as they treat women who were defrauded by unofficial marriages as special cases. However, the worst isn’t half the house, it’s actually zero from him and going on benefits until she is financially independent.

At least the option for benefits is there, she doesn’t need a penny from him to leave and establish a life for herself and the children elsewhere. If she simply just decided to go, she could work with Citizens Advice and the council to set up accommodation, UC claim and so on and just move out. Then pursue him for child support (if they are his children) and with a specialist for anything extra that might apply if she were defrauded into thinking she was officially married under U.K. law when she wasn’t.

OP you need an immigration solicitor also....if you’ve been legally in U.K. for 5yrs you may be eligible for Indefinite Leave to Remain (ILR) which would make you eligible for recourse to public funds (benefits). If your children are British citizens, that can also by itself make you eligible for benefits as their parent until you get ILR and then U.K. citizenship in your own right, especially if any of them are under age 10.

Most immigration solicitors will give you a free initial consultation and guidance. As youve been resident for 5yrs that is the minimum threshold to be potentially eligible for such status. Please contact one as soon as you can.

Also, they won’t count his salary at all once you split. You can even officially separate and still be living there for temporary time until council housing and benefits are paid to you allowing you to afford to move out.

You can check the ownership by buying your own copy of the ‘deeds’ from the Land Registry website
www.gov.uk/search-property-information-land-registry
It costs £3 and the copy can be downloaded to your email.

OP - your strength and care for your children is a much more precious heirloom than anything you buy. I hope they will look back and appreciate all you do for them and do the same for the people they love too.

I don’t have any useful advice beyond what other posters have given, but I just wanted to offer you my support and respect.

You are clearly a fantastic mother and your husband and his family don’t deserve you. I really hope you can get on your feet independently, and that a solicitor can help ensure your husband doesn’t leave you with nothing.