Has anything like this ever happened to you? AIBU for thinking I did something wrong?
My friend of over 30 years had everything booked and paid for (by herself) and her fiancé called the venue and cancelled the wedding 3 weeks before the big day. I cried for her but she was very “meh” about the whole thing, like, literally did not care. Then about 3 months later, I found out I was pregnant by my bf of 4 years, he had an exam in college (mature student) on the day of my 1st scan and she ended up coming with me. A month after this she met a guy and after a month of dating him, she announced she was pregnant! Being pregnant together I asked her when her due date was and she was really vague about it, kept saying the machine they used on her was old so they couldn’t predict the date (I told her to count from the first day of her last period but she couldn’t remember) then when I showed her my scan photos she claimed they didn’t have any photo paper for the machinery on the day she was to get hers, it was all very “it is what it is” with her. Then, it turned out her baby was born 4 months after mine 😂
But anyway, I didn’t bother pointing out the obvious because I figured she’d been through enough, so 9 months after my baby was born, I found out I was 6 weeks pregnant, I didn’t realise it at the time and hadn’t been very careful with my diet and had had wine with dinner a few times so I didn’t want to tell anyone until,I’d had my anomaly scan. When I was 16 weeks, she guessed from me, I think I said something off the cuff and she said “oooooh you’re pregnant aren’t you??” So, that was fine, but then 2 weeks later she told me she was pregnant again too. I was like “yay, what are the chances of that happening....again 😬”, turned out her baby was born Very prematurely, I don’t know at how many weeks because she was vague on her due date with this baby too. Whilst her baby was STILL in NICU, she left her to go to NYC for a long weekend to get engaged as quick as she could (I was still not engaged to my bf at this point) Anyway flash forward to her wedding and I ended up not going. Three days beforehand she told me that she couldn’t allow my children to go because they weren’t family and I had no one to look after them (all family members were away on holidays at the time) and I expressed how disappointed I was but that I understood her decision and said I might drive to the church to at least catch a glimpse of her in her dress but she said not to as there would be so many people and cars around that she didn’t want me taking up a free parking space (😂) sooooo ok! It turned out her groom got extremely drunk the night before the wedding and had to be held up at the alter by his best man, his mother attacked her at the reception saying she never wanted him marrying her and his secretary told her in the bathroom that she had sex with him a load of times before they got married. She ended up getting very drunk at her own wedding and spent it out the back of the venue with her family members.
I spoke to this friend every single day on the phone, every single day, we mightn’t have seen each other every month, but without fail, we always spoke for at least an hour after the kids had gone to school so I believed we were good friends, I’ve known her since I was 2 years old! She ended up telling me that after her first baby was born, her now husband walked out on her and the baby, his reasoning was that he didn’t want any of that family kind of life and that she had trapped him. He came to see the baby when she was 6 months old and they started having sex again and that’s when she got pregnant with her 2nd. All of this was news to me, I had been speaking to her while all of that was going on and she never told me about it, she said she was sorry she didn’t say anything, that she was so embarrassed and I told her that I wouldn’t have thought anything like that of her and would have helped her as much as I could.
Flash forward 2 years and I (eventually 😂) got engaged and had my wedding. I invited her, her husband, their now four children, her Mum and sister and her sisters bf. She ended up coming with her mum and her daughter, it was fine, I ended up joining their three chairs to another table so that I didn’t have to pay for a full non show table. They arrived just as everyone was sitting down to their meal, spent the evening smoking outside the entrance door of the venue so the whole place stank of cigarette smoke and we didn’t really get to chat during the reception, I put that down to me being the bride and mingling with all the guests for a few minutes at a time. So the next day I texted her to thank her for coming and if she’d had a good time. When I went away on honeymoon my mother dropped up some of my wedding cake to her Mums house, I still hadn’t heard from her. I sent her photos and videos of her daughter on the dance floor and still nothing, I called and texted, left voicemails asking if anything was wrong, but she never responded. It’s been three years since my wedding and I have not heard one word from her since my wedding day. Nothing. I just don’t understand it, we had been through so much together, we knew each other’s families , even extended relatives! It all seemed to change when the husband came on board but I’d only ever met him twice, but we never spoke. IDK , maybe I’m blind to see what happened. AIBU to think it was my fault??