to not really feel like a mum yet

[talktothebees]

DD is nearly 5 months old and we have a great time together but I still don't really feel like a mum. More like an auntie or babysitter. When does the reality that your somebody's mum sink in? Or will I always feel like I'm waiting for DD's real mum to turn up?

YANBU!!!

gosh I can remember thinking that, and talking to others at baby groups, about it!

Its true, it takes a while for the connection of 'i am this creature's mother' to sink in.

I look at my dd now, i think (she's 5 btw) where did she come from again?

I was a "babysitter" for most of the first year, it's not uncommon but I had PND so watch out for the signs. Oh and rest assured that your dd won't be thinking of you as anything other than her mummy!

it always gives me a jolt when people refer to me as a mum! Mind you i don't "feel" like a wife either (whatever these roles are meant to feel like)

you are having a great time with your DD - that is what matters

Just wait until she asks for you...

First there's the smile when she sees you _ the smile that is just for you, not anyone else.

Then there's the putting up her arms to be lifted up, or leaning over to you when someone else is holding her.

Then there's the crowing and whooping when you come home, and wriggling and objecting until you pick her up.

And at last she calls you 'Mama'.

Don't worry, sometimes it takes a while for the reality to sink in. It will happen, one day she will tell you that you are hers and she is yours.

I have found it weird when I have to put on websites that I now have a child...... Me.... having a child!? It was weird enough stating that I was married too...

I have worried about PND, having been really bad with depression and anxiety in the past. But then DP told me he's still surprised every time he realises that this baby that lives with us is actually our DD.

I think it's just that having a baby is such a big thing I expected a revolution in my personality. Ah well, now it looks like nothing will shift me from being a lazy-a*sed grump

Perhaps when I get that first 'mama'......

Interestingly, when I was married (briefly) I DID feel like very much like a wife and hated every minute of it as my ex-dh would attest. So perhaps it's a good thing I don't feel so much like a mum yet!

I remember that feeling, I did have PND until dd1 was about 18mths - 2yr old though (was undiagnosed for the first 12mths) eventually when she was about 3 it sunk in that she was MY daughter and if I didn't put rules in place before she got much older I was going to have a very hard time of it because there really was no-one coming to take her home!