in being upset that friends went out together in a group and didnt invite me?

[belcantavinissima]

found out this morning 4 of my closest friends went out to an exercise group last night and didnt invite me, or evben mention it. am feeling really peed off about it because i said to one of them when she said about it 'oh i would have come if i'd known' and she said 'oh i said to x shall we invite x but she didnt think you'd like it'.

well, actually its something i have been wanting to do for bloody ages but never like joining new groups on my own so actually would have leapt at the chance! and, if they ever bloody listened to me, they would know it was something i wanted to do.
so now i feel more pissed off than i think i have a right to be. but not sure if i should say anything and now wondering whether i should go next week (because i do want to) or whether i shouldnt on principle.

AIBU to be pissed off? and should i say something? or should i go next week (she seemingly grudgingly said 'well come along next week then if you want to'. what has pissed me off the most is that the preseumed to know what i like dont like i think. right sorry for rambling. thanks for reading

YANBU. Why would they do this without you?

If it's something that you would really like to do, then e-mail/text/ring who ever organised it and say you would like to come. If it was a genuine mistake they will welcome you. If they don't, then you will know there is more to it.

But don't fester on it! Send that e-mail/text or ring today.

Something like that happened a while back as I found out that the team I used to work in had a night out without me.

Maybe I was away or something when they tried to contact me or maybe they didn't bother, or and I guess this is the real crux of the matter, maybe they don't actually like me as much as I thought they did.

I felt really upset about it, is this what you are worrying about too ? I wouldn't say anything if I were you, what are they going to say, I'd just turn up at the next class and soon it will all be forgotten.

rookiemum, maybe thats it. also i find it hard because 2 or 3 of them only know each other because i introduced them! and now every now and then the odd 2 will go off and do stuff without me knowing. also it annoys me that they just 'presumed' to know whether i would like to go without giving me the option.
i dont want to burn my bridges by making a big deal out of something that perhaps they hadne even thought of. but equally i think they ought to be aware that they have upset me. incidentally they wouldnt have 'seen' each other to ask, it would have had to have been via text and email, and surely they could have sent that to me too?
also it alwasy seems to be me making an effort, always me to text if someone has been ill or something to check how they are etc. perhaps they dont think as much of me as i do of them

i meant to add, without me knowing and then deliberately keeping it from me like its some great secret making it much more important than it it. obv i dont mind if 2 people go to coffee or whatever but when its everyone except you you begin to get a bit paranoid

But they genuinely might have thought that it wasn't your sort of thing so what was the point in asking you and ok thats not great either, but its not the end of the world.

I just think that if you make a big deal of it to them then thats what it is going to turn into, particularly if you send an email or text where its really hard to judge "tone"

You can judge the atmosphere when you go along to the next class and maybe mention it then, or even better organise a night out for everyone.

yes youre right. i dont want to confront hem about it. i hate confrontation and bad feeling. just wanted to vent i suppose and see if it was be BU or them.

YANBU - but don;t make a big issue out of it or it will just tie you up in knots.

join a different class and make some new friends

I don't know if you are BU or not but I often feel like you do when people who I am friends with in a group do stuff without me.

in my old team at work there were 5 of us and we kept talking about a team trip to alton towers. it was a girl in another teams birthday and she invited all of my team except me. i wasn't really good friends with her but no less than some of the others in my team. the worst thing was no-one in my team seemed to think i might be upset when they all took the day off and left me on my own to hold the fort

I get easily jealous when it comes to friends, but i think it stems from being bullied at school. women can be v manipulative & bitchy some times, often without realising it. i would feel the same as you.

No YANBU - I would be miffed too. Come and join the "Anyone else feel they don't fit in?" thread here