To turn down the job ive worked 3 5 years for!?

[Tiredmaturestudent]

Hello,

Not posted many times as never had the courage but here goes!
My current situation is that I am a mature student and have been a single parent for 1 year. I am about to graduate this summer after what has been a hard slog of resitting gcse access course and a 3yr degree course. I have 3 children.
My long term relationship broke down whilst I was on my course and I have since moved out with my children. My ex partner is quite possibly the most unreliable person on the planet and has provided some irregular support whilst I was on my course placement. The children have rarely stayed with him after been given a variety of excuses.
I have luckily been offered a position in the role I have trained for this will entail shift work including nights and needs my commitment which I am happy to give, my concern is that my children will not be reliably cared for whilst I am at work. it is a regular occurance that I have to leave placement to collect them from school or cant work a night shift as their dad won't turn up as agreed to watch them.

I want to commit to my new role I have dreamt of for so long but don't want to be a complete letdown and unreliable employee and I cant judge if my ex will ever buck up I can use wrap around care but not for my long day/night shifts so thats not enough.
It would break my heart to turn it down but don't see any alternative as I have no other family support.
I am trying to think that when they're older in the future I could go back into it but feels like such a waste.
Any advice is welcome
Thank you

Thank you everyone for the replies and advice its making me more optimistic! I wouldn't have the space for anyone to live in and I am in rented accommodation so not sure of its actually allowed but if I could find au pairs/sitters that were willing not to live in its certainly a consideration. I think my problem may be that my days won't be the same every week so could only give a couple of months notice at a time as to when I needed them but will definetly spend some time researching this.

Hopefully it will work out I know my ex will make it incredibly difficult no matter what I decide to do but I am prepared for that...I think!

Your only option is to find childcare that isn't him.

How old are the children? Sorry if you’ve said.

I think you need a couple of students up your sleeve to have as a bank of care. I think you could maybe make it work, but I suppose it depends how much you need to pay them.

I can't think of a single HCP job where there are no 9-5 roles. Can you keep job searching and wait to straight days?

If it didn't compromise your chances of securing the role, I would also try talking to the people who offered the job, to explain the problems you've had in the past.

If they could give you surety around shifts would it help you organise things in case your H gets flakey again?

How old are the children, and how long until one could start babysitting the others in an emergency?

As a student I used to baby sit for a single mum who worked shifts. I would arrive at 6pm and the lady would leave at half past, then she would get back at 6.30am and I would look after the kids all night (3 of them). They were fed, but I would bath them - the youngest in bed by 7.30 and the oldest by 8.30pm. I would have the evening to myself and I would sleep on the other side of her double bed. It was early nineties and she paid me £18 a night. I think I was done, but I don't mind. She was a friend of my mums. Do you know anyone that could help you at all?

@Babysharkdododont

I can't think of a single HCP job where there are no 9-5 roles. Can you keep job searching and wait to straight days?

I agree with this. I am a single parent to 3 dc and a hcp who relied on payed childcare for 14 years - I took jobs that weren't my preferred area of practice but were within my profession and meant I worked no unsocial hours. It maybe not what you want but it is an option.

Agree that there will be 9-5 in some areas of practice but it may need some searching for those roles.

With regard to cm if you rarely receive any payment at present a smaller amount more regularly may be beneficial. At the moment he is pulling all the strings you need to take back control...

I’ve done this kind of childcare for a doctor couple who both were on call or working the same shifts. I’m self employed so I had the flexibility to do nursery and school pick ups, or be there in the morning and even overnight.

There will be plenty of people willing to take on that job and care for your children Responsibly so that you don’t have to worry. If you can find a nanny who is registered you can even use UC/tax credits to help pay for their childcare costs. Good luck!