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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Please tell me I am not unreasonable!

34 replies

wuwubaba · 23/04/2021 17:55

Scheduled to use public transport to pick my daughter up after an early start. After battling through school hours traffic and long delays and switches, i managed to get on the last connecting bus, only to find that she has already walked to her grandma's, which is 5 minutes walk away.

Now i told her specifically not to go as I always think is rude to just pick her up and go. I normally stay but I knew today it was gonna be a long and busy day for me so I told my her to just stay at the school and wait for me. That way I can just pick her up and go straight home.

To add salt to the wound, I only found out about this while I was on my way there. Nobody bother to let me know. I was frantically texting and whatsapping both her and my husband. Once I was told I was so upset I just get off the bus and took another bus straight home, instead of picking her up. I told her she can wait for her dad to pick her up after he finish work tonight. I just do not want to do it. I have no idea why I was so upset, but multiple factors such as hormonal (menstruating 😂), almost tripped myself running to catch the connecting trains while tapping my foot, anxiously praying all the way that I will made the journey + the lady behind me in the bus told me I should move as there should be a gap between seats contribute to these negative emotions and decision.

Do you guys think I am too precious/unreasonable/dramatic?

OP posts:
Nicolastuffedone · 23/04/2021 19:08

Why can’t you say you’d love to stop for a coffee but you’re up to eyes in work? I don’t understand your problem?

wuwubaba · 23/04/2021 19:08

I have no idea why i was so emotional today. Now that I had calmed down I blamed my hormones. Truthfully speaking I had a great day at work. The monitoring visit was a great success. I even managed to leave 10 minutes earlier. The shitty part starts with the traffic. Bus - train-train-bus then cab. Every single connection was delayed. I was so anxious because i was worried she will ignore my instructions and just pop to her grandma. Lo and behold I found out through my husband as I cannot get hold of her.

Anyway rant over.

OP posts:
Coyoacan · 23/04/2021 19:08

Is there any particular reason she can't go home on her own at 13?

It seems like an awful lot of faff to pick up a child who is well able to look after herself.

wuwubaba · 23/04/2021 19:16

Since theres always kids hanging around in my area, we tends to pick her up ourselves.

As I don't drive my husband is normally the one picks her up. Plus today of all days she got all her kits + violin to carry. That is why I asked her to just wait for me. She can just whip out her laptop and surf net while waiting for me.

OP posts:
HidingFromDD · 23/04/2021 19:25

You’ve had a shitty journey and it was unneeded if she’d just told you she was going. You could have arranged for Dh to pick her up and gone back at your own speed and had a bit of chill time before they arrived home. Get yourself some wine and let it pass. You sound like you deserve it

tuttifuckinfruity · 23/04/2021 19:25

I can see your point, but I don't think anybody is really to blame.

Bus - train-train-bus then cab - this is the bit that gets me. Why on earth is your child at a school that is so difficult to get to?? I find it strange than someone would do that every day to get to school.

Morechocolatethanbarbara · 23/04/2021 19:29

DC didn't listen to your instructions and didn't communicate, leaving you worried.

From your follow up posts it sounds like you pick her up for safety reasons, so you had legitimate concerns when you couldn't get hold of her, hence the stress.

I would be cross too in that situation. If my 13yr old DD "disappeared" in an unsafe area and wasn't contactable by phone I'd be really concerned.

She's old enough to sit her down tonight and explain why you were so worried and how she was essentially the little boy who cried wolf today. Another occasion when she "disappears" you could assume she's done the same thing and not raise the alarm when she is in genuine danger.

I would ground my DD without her phone/Internet for at least a day if she pulled a stunt like that.

  1. Safety is paramount.
  2. Communication is key
3 Worrying & dicking your parents about is completely unacceptable!

She broke rules 1, 2 & 3 there!

TheLastLotus · 23/04/2021 20:07

I don’t think you’re being stroppy - I’d be too if I’d gone to all that effort and was in a shit mood only to find that my darling daughter had a) not told me where she was and b) made me have to make polite conversation when all I wanted to do was get my sorry arse home!

For context as a Child I used to wait at my gran’s until picked and it was impossible for mum to pick and go - gran expected at least 30 mins of conversation! Drove me nuts when all I wanted to do was go home and play video games

stackemhigh · 26/04/2021 09:33

YANBU, she should have listened to you.

Did her father and MIL know she was coming to see MIL?

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