To think no maintenance is fair in this situation?

[TallKite]

Will try and keep it brief!

2 primary aged DC, ex doesn't pay maintenance.

He has them 3 nights a week, sometimes over the week and sometimes over the weekend so that we both get some weekends and some week day drudge!

He has always paid half of everything, clothes, trips, uniform etc... And will often buy things like shoes and clothes when they are with him anyway.

We both have good careers and work full time.

He always does school runs on his days and helps with mine too if needed (and vice versa).

We are very flexible with each other. He will always jump at the chance to have them more too so say if I have plans one night he will happily have them 4 nights or more, whatever is needed.

Because of this I have honestly never thought to claim any maintenance off him, I don't feel it would be fair for one extra night (and he does sometimes have them that extra night too).

Someone close to me has said they would still claim it in this situation. I'm not going to as I am happy with our set up and think we work well together but interested what other people would think is fair in this situation, I honestly don't feel it would be fair to imo.

It sounds like you have it just right. I think your mum might be shit stirring a little here and itcisnt really any of her business

Agree with you OP. It sounds to be practically 50/50 and equal co-parenting by two good parents. I would not be seeking maintenance in your shoes either. It would be penny wise but pound foolish. As in he’d only have to pay very little and that payment could cause him to be stingy where he currently is doing his fair share on child costs. Could also cause him to be less flexible and reluctant to have the children that extra night or swap weekends for week days etc. You have a good arrangement that works for you, there is no reason to go changing it.

It sounds like you are doing 50/50 parenting and costs, so I don’t think you would get much in maintenance, and as he already pays half of a lot of things, then you would probably end up losing out financially.

Anyway, you are divorced parents goals. I truly hope that if we were ever to divorce, then DH and I would split custody and costs like you guys are currently doing

Your ex sounds like a good father and your mother should be aware of this.

Why isn't she?

Put your mother straight on how well things work between you and how wonderful that is for you all.

Lucky children.

I don’t claim from my ex. We are very amicable and he is flexible when I need him to be. He earns 1/5th of what I earn. I do far more childcare because that’s what our DD prefers. There’s no point claiming money I don’t need and making exes life hard (and by extension my daughters life when she is with him).

In your circs I wouldn’t claim!

Sounds just right.
If you did claim maintenance, he might end up paying less as all the uniform costs etc are supposed to come out of the maintenance.
Trust your own judgement!

The only point of maintenance is for the NRP to make a fair contribution to their children's expenses. Actually, due to the way it is calculated, it rarely works out that way. You have a much better arrangement.

Doesn't sound like you need to claim it. You're doing pretty much 50/50 parenting, and splitting costs. Sounds perfect!

I wouldn't, in the circumstances you describe.

I think you also have to bear in mind that if you did make a claim, your ex might become less willing to help you out on occasions where he had previously done so.

After reading some other threads today it's refreshing to hear about co-parenting that is going so well. Good for you both.