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AIBU?

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Original poster

To think he could've got up with son?

17 replies

Inspiriscu · 23/04/2021 10:11

My son is 3 weeks old. I always get up with him in the night as partner is a heavy sleeper and doesn't hear son crying.

Anyway this morning son woke up at 5 like he usually does and partner said he'd get up with him in a few minutes but in the end I got up as son was crying. He isn't at work today or anything so aibu to think he could've gotten up with him? Especially as he's still asleep now and I've been up for hours.

OP posts:
MaMaD1990 · 23/04/2021 10:13

Technically, yes her should be getting up as he said he would. But he also said he'd get up in a few minutes - you've martyred yourself a bit here. Next time give him his few minutes and then a sharp elbow to get him up to tend to your son (all this assuming your DS isn't screaming his head of course!).

Merryoldgoat · 23/04/2021 10:18

So he heard him crying and said he’d get him in a few minutes?

What’s the point in that? He sounds unhelpful and lazy.

For the first few weeks DH would get up with me and change the baby and bring him to me for feeding. Then he’d do the morning shift.

Once he was back at work we shared nights and he never left them crying.

Aria2015 · 23/04/2021 10:21

@Inspiriscu he should have got up but don't fall into the trap of unnecessarily taking things on. In this case, I'd have just turned to my husband and said 'I know you said you'd get up in a few minutes but please can you do it now as the baby is crying and it's making me more and more awake and it'll be harder to me to get back to sleep and I really need some rest after being up lots in the night'. Don't just get annoyed and jump in - tell him exactly what you need.

GlamourBear · 23/04/2021 10:23

Sounds like he said he would get up but lay there knowing you would get up if he held out long enough which is unfair!

Silverfly · 23/04/2021 10:24

YANBU. Make sure you have a nap later while he looks after the baby.

Original poster
Inspiriscu · 23/04/2021 11:02

@MaMaD1990

Technically, yes her should be getting up as he said he would. But he also said he'd get up in a few minutes - you've martyred yourself a bit here. Next time give him his few minutes and then a sharp elbow to get him up to tend to your son (all this assuming your DS isn't screaming his head of course!).
I only got up with son in the end as he was crying and I'd already waited the 'few minutes'.
OP posts:
Aprilshowersandhail · 23/04/2021 11:04

Did he fall back asleep? Apparently it's been proven than women hear a baby cry when asleep and men don't. Something to do with the pitch..
A sharp dig in the ribs works wonders..
To the bloke not the dc...
Ime.

Kentuki · 23/04/2021 11:05

Did you say “it’s been a few minutes and he’s still crying, get up now please”?

Planningobjection · 23/04/2021 11:06

Is this your first baby together?
You need to stand firmer with him, “no he needs you now not in a few minutes”. Also there’s no harm in waking him up in the night if you’re tired and it’s his turn. I hope he’s up and awake now.

BarbaraofSeville · 23/04/2021 11:08

Apparently it's been proven than women hear a baby cry when asleep and men don't

Has it now? Are these the same men who can't see mess or dirt or manage to meal plan and organise a shopping list?

AryaStarkWolf · 23/04/2021 11:11

Has it now? Are these the same men who can't see mess or dirt or manage to meal plan and organise a shopping list?

People make excuses for them, it's so convenient. My DH see's mess and always heard our son cry.......

Aprilshowersandhail · 23/04/2021 11:12

Article by MindLab..

To think he could've got up with son?
AryaStarkWolf · 23/04/2021 11:13

@Aprilshowersandhail

Article by MindLab..
He did wake up though, he just chose to go back to sleep
Pyewackect · 23/04/2021 11:18

I guess you could be slightly miffed but the moment has passed. Don’t fuss about it. As the Duke of Edinburgh famously said, just get on with it.

MaMaD1990 · 23/04/2021 11:50

Well that was the time you should've given him the elbow to get up with your son.

Whatapalavaa · 23/04/2021 12:26

Be firmer next time. Agree you martyred yourself.

timeisnotaline · 23/04/2021 12:29

[quote Aria2015]@Inspiriscu he should have got up but don't fall into the trap of unnecessarily taking things on. In this case, I'd have just turned to my husband and said 'I know you said you'd get up in a few minutes but please can you do it now as the baby is crying and it's making me more and more awake and it'll be harder to me to get back to sleep and I really need some rest after being up lots in the night'. Don't just get annoyed and jump in - tell him exactly what you need. [/quote]
This- you need to make sure you two are balancing things out! Sucks it has to be you driving, but sucks even more if you just go oh well I’ll do everything then.

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