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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To just quit drinking

8 replies

queenbee67 · 23/04/2021 09:47

After many years of drinking quite heavily at times I've realised over the past few weeks that it doesn't serve me in any way and I feel so much better without it. I enjoy the initial buzz of a glass of wine but it never stops there. I drink more and the next day I feel anxious, unwell and tired. I'm so done with wasted days and the effect it has on my body. Last week I was ill for days with an upset stomach after drinking heavily. Not sure if it was linked but it certainly didn't help.

Friends know me as the one who loves a drink on a night out. Now that lockdown is lifting and we are getting together again the expectation for me to drink will be huge. I would go as far as to say they will be shocked and disappointed if I don't. I'm conflicted because I can't imagine these days/nights out without a drink in my hand and I really don't think I will find it enjoyable being the sober one while everyone else drinks. But am I prepared to have days of feeling shit after? Not really.

It could be my age...mid thirties now...and probably not able to handle my alcohol like i was. But how do I handle this? Do I just reserve drinking for these one off occasions or do I quit completely and just accept people might find it weird and I might not enjoy myself as much? Has anyone else who previously drank a lot just stopped like that? And if so how did life change?

OP posts:
Hadalifeonce · 23/04/2021 09:51

If you find it impossible to stop after 1 or 2, I think you need to stop. Not knowing how often you were drinking well in excess, you might be better getting some support to help you stop. Going cold turkey can be very difficult.

OrangeRug · 23/04/2021 09:56

OP I could have written this post. I have drank too much for most of my life. Like you, I enjoy the first glass but I can never stop. I feel tired and anxious the next day and the cycle continues. I'm feeling a bit sorry for myself this morning after drinking a load of rum last night and I really need to take control because I've had enough of it now. What I really want to do is stop drinking at home on a regular basis but I still fully intend to drink on nights out. Sorry I don't really have any advice as such, just wanted you to know you're not alone!

queenbee67 · 23/04/2021 09:57

I don't think it's a dependency issue or anything like that, I just get carried away. The same as I say I'll just have one biscuit then the whole pack has gone and I hate myself after! It's a personality trait I need to improve.

But with alcohol the after effects are grim. Hangovers in my thirties are so much worse!!!

I have no issues stopping drinking physically or mentally. I'm just a bit concerned about how life will be now the world is opening again and the expectation to drink is there iyswim.

OP posts:
queenbee67 · 23/04/2021 09:59

@OrangeRug I think that's a great first step! I've managed it quite successfully. During the first lockdown I was drinking almost every night of the week but now I rarely drink at home. But in a weird way when I do drink I feel worse. Perhaps tolerance levels dipping? Either way I think it's a good thing to cut down.

Another issue is that I find it can upset my tummy or make me sick even when I don't have a lot. And the last thing I want is to be getting unwell while I'm out with friends.

OP posts:
Fyredraca · 23/04/2021 10:24

Maybe try making arrangements with friends that don't necessarily involve drinking?
If you drive, then go by car then you have a good excuse for not having a drink.
Some people do react weirdly about this. I stopped drinking a couple of years ago and I think some people felt I was somehow judging (I absolutely wasn't).
I don't miss the hangovers at all.
Good luck

Whatisthisfuckery · 23/04/2021 10:27

As someone who likes a drink, I can tell you that not drinking on a night out will not decrease your enjoyment of it. What will be different however is the next day where you feel fine and you’re not worrying about whether you made a twat of yourself or not.

I should really take my own advice.

slashlover · 23/04/2021 11:15

There are several people I know who don't drink at all, nobody cares and they still have fun. I've gone on nights out and not drank at all and it's been fine.

I would go as far as to say they will be shocked and disappointed if I don't.

You're just assuming this. If your friends are socked and disappointed then your friends are arseholes and not real friends.

SweatyBetty20 · 23/04/2021 11:20

After a decade of drinking too much when I lived in London, I made the decision to cut right back when I moved back up north. Things that have helped me:

  • I don't drink at home unless I'm having a meal, and then only on a Friday or Saturday night.
  • I drive rather than get public transport or a taxi - helps that I'm pretty rural and a taxi home costs me £35 (plus the cost of the booze)
  • I didn't dump my mates, but I did get new interests, and therefore new friends; walking and cycling during the days, and climbing wall in the evenings, rather than boozy nights out.
  • when I do drink I have a glass of water with it. After a while I realised I liked the water just as much as the wine.
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