To consider adding my maiden name back into my name?

[sesquipedalia]

I got married in 2016 and officially changed my name. However I didn't change my passport as I was too tight fisted to pay for the privilege. I am known as my married name on all house/family admin and share that name with DD/DH. But I have kept my maiden name professionally.

Its now time to renew my passport and I find I am loath to change the last piece of my former/real identity to my married name. So my options are:

1. Crack on, no one cares, just change it to your married name
2. Keep your maiden name, no harm to have ID in another name
3. Change my name (deed poll?) to Mrs FirstName MaidenName MarriedName (not to double barrel or use 2 surnames, but to reincorporate it as a middle name)

I'm dithering! What do you think?

Keep your maiden name, although that’s just a personal opinion.

2 or 3. I did 3

I didn't do it by deed poll just when I changed my name at bank etc told them (supplied birth and marriage certificate).
No problem with passport either.
But on reflection my married surname is so fugly I wished I'd never changed it. My maiden name is much nicer.

I am going to keep my family name when I marry fiancé and then db with his. No way would I lose it! Also going to remain a Miss as no way I want to be a Mrs anything!! He's also going to db so we are both the same.

I’d say 2 unless you have or are planning on having kids who have just your married surname - as if you travel alone with them it can be annoying if you have to explain the passports being in different names.
I still have my driving license in my maiden name as I didn’t want to give it up completely 🤷‍♀️

Honestly? Your current set up is irritating. I have a couple of colleague-friends who have kept their maiden name at work and use their dh's name otherwise, and it has caused (minor) confusion.

Just pick a side. Keep your own name or take his, but stop half-arsing.

I guess you have to think about whether or not having a different surname from your children might cause you any issues if you are travelling with them. Sometimes it could cause questions if Border Control want to check that they are yours although I hear that showing birth certificates nearly always sorts that one.

At the same time though, part of me wishes I had not given up my maiden name totally when we got married almost 28 years ago now. It didn't occur to me to keep it at the time though as I was rather naive and thought that changing to married name was simply what women did. I know better now though, and that steers me towards voting for your option 3.

@Grumblesigh it might be annoying for you but not everyone wants to give up their maiden name, it’s an individual choice

I would be tempted by 3. We are meant to getting married this year and are double barrelling. I have point blank refused to take his name, nothing wrong with it -it’s just the principal

I’ve been married for nearly 15 years and wish I’d double barrelled. I was young and naive and took his name as a badge of honour.

I’ve recently gone back to study and I’m on the cusp of double barrelling now, I love my maiden name, I’m close to my family, we’re pretty much NC with his. I am thinking, do it now so all my qualifications are in the double barrelled name, and so when I hopefully start a new career it’s a fresh start with my new name, they won’t know any different

I did 3. Deedpoll kept maiden as middle name . Don't use it all the time like double barrel but like that it's still a part of my identity.

It's not your maiden name. It's your name. The one you were born with, the same presumably as any brothers you might have. YOUR name.

I double barrelled (with no hyphen) and that’s my legal name and name at work. But I usually just use my married name for personal life stuff. It’s confusing. I wish I’d just kept my maiden name, even though we have kids.

I think anyone who changes to adhere to a outdated misogynistic tradition is unreasonable

Seriously, call yourself whatever you want.

Deed poll and get your birth name back if it's important to you. I kept mine when I married. Kids are hypenated and have both our names.