AIBU?
To ask neighbour to move their BBQ
BlindMelon123 · 23/04/2021 06:37
We live in a terraced house with a very small yard at the back. We are renting and the sash windows need replacing as they have huge gaps letting in draughts (you can see daylight through the gaps). The good news is we are shortly moving to a house we are buying (all being well!) so only have a month or so to deal with this.
Our neighbour has bbq’s most weekend evenings (Friday to Sunday) often midweek if it’s a school holiday, rain or shine. This started in February this year! Every time they bbq we get lots of smoke in the house because there simply isn’t enough air to circulate behind the houses, and lots of high fencing and trees which seem to trap the smoke and stop it blowing away.
Last week my DS and I got home from the park and I genuinely thought our house was on fire because the smoke in our kitchen was so thick! I couldn’t do my DSs dinner in the kitchen as he was coughing and rubbing his eyes (unfortunately our downstairs is all open so no doors to close), so I ended up having to give him his dinner in our bedroom with all the windows open. I’m pregnant, so also concerned about smoke inhalation, also have a DS (1yo) and husband has asthma.
If this was a one off I wouldn’t even consider saying something but this is such a regular occurrence (although particularly bad last week) that I’m concerned it’s going to continue rain or shine for the remaining time we’re here. I get on well with the lady who lives next door, her husband is the one doing the bbq and I’m sure she will be fine if I mention it (they are actually separated but he comes back at weekends), but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable. I have asked her in the past if she can ask her DH to move the bbq away from our fence but I’m not sure he did that or if it’s even helping, as the size of the garden really makes it impossible to avoid anyway.
I bumped into her yesterday and I’m now kicking myself for not mentioning it. Should I ask her again if they can move the bbq?
Am I being unreasonable?
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Blindmelon123 · 23/04/2021 07:08
Thanks for the replies. I should have said we obviously can’t have windows and doors open either, so it’s not just the issue with the gappy windows - that just makes it impossible to avoid even when we close all the doors and windows in the heat of summer. Our landlord won’t do anything about it unfortunately, I’ve resorted to putting damp tea towels into the gaps but that doesn’t seem to make much difference. I Will look into cork though, thanks for the suggestion, @Pesimistic .
Just to clarify, I wasn’t going to ask them not to bbq, just to move it away from our fence, on the assumption that might help, or at least bring it to their attention so they can be more mindful of it next time.
Notimeforaname · 23/04/2021 07:11
Just to clarify, I wasn’t going to ask them not to bbq, just to move it away from our fence, on the assumption that might help, or at least bring it to their attention so they can be more mindful of it next time.
You said the yards are tiny.. with wind blowing it probably doesn't make a difference where the bbq is located?
Iceniii · 23/04/2021 07:15
Actually I'd seek advise from Environment Health. That much smoke through gaps isn't good. You wouldn't be able to have doors or windows open. People can't play music loud late at night, when you ask them not to, you are not stopping them living their lives. They could move the BBQ.
EngelbertsRumpispink · 23/04/2021 07:17
Can you get some heavy-duty tape, to seal over the gaps during the weekends? Maybe edge some aluminum foil inside the gaps first, then tape over? Not sure how big the gaps are.
(Just at the weekends -- might look crap, but should help.)
And do it before they start the bbq, not during!
Overdueanamechange · 23/04/2021 07:19
I would speak to your neighbours. Yes, you windows = your (landlord's) problem), but a neighbours bbq should be filling hour house with smoke. You are allowed to open doors and windows when the weather is nice without filling your home with next doors smoke. Speak to environmental health at your local council.
BeeDavis · 23/04/2021 07:20
I would definitely mention it.. we have a neighbor who’s BBQ is right up against our fence. They have a huge garden there’s no need for it to be there and the smoke from it just billows into our garden it’s ridiculous. We kept quiet about it last year as it was lockdown but I’m pregnant and I won’t be able to sit out in my own garden in the hot weather if it carries on like it did last year! They light it without any concern for anyone else, we’ve had our washing out before and they’ve lit it. Absolutely stunk the washing out so much I had to wash it twice! It’s just selfish. No issue with them moving it to their other fence where it wouldn’t inconvenience anyone! We’re just waiting to see if they’ll do the same this year
MimiSunshine · 23/04/2021 07:22
Asking them to move the bbq so it isn’t directly smoking out your house isn’t unreasonable or stopping them live their life.
Surely when people set the bbqs up they check how it might affect their neighbours?
I think I’d possibly wait until they have another and then pop round to talk to them about it. Say you appreciate it’s a small space but invite them to see how much the smoke is getting into your house.
I actually wouldn’t mention the windows specifically as it’s also getting in through open doors.
I know it’s annoying to have to have your house filled again but it’s some times better to show not tell
MilduraS · 23/04/2021 07:45
Can you see another area in their garden where they can put the BBQ? If so, I'd ask. Our neighbours asked us if we could move ours towards the back of the garden one day because they had the patio doors open and the wind picked up minutes after we had lit it. Although our bbq is rarely smoky we've left it at the end of the garden out of politeness. It hasn't been a problem at all and we weren't offended.
1990s · 23/04/2021 07:59
@Overdueanamechange
Totally agree with this.
You should be able to have all your windows open if you wanted without someone else antisocial behaviour affecting you.
They need to move it to the farthest away it can be, and work out why it's so smoky! No problem asking them to do this politely.
Iceniii · 23/04/2021 08:19
What they are actually doing is polluting the air in your house significantly. Pollution is directly impacting peoples health now. They may not know this. I believe there will be a big drive to decrease this type of nuisance e.g. Pizza ovens, firepits, log burners in new builds etc.
EngelbertsRumpispink · 23/04/2021 08:21
@Blindmelon123
@BlindMelon123
Be careful with the sealant - it can get gloppy and messy, and you don't want anything that the landlord can try to blame on you, even though there shouldn't be gaps in the first place!
(Also be careful with any paintwork when removing tape.)
I hope you will have a smoke-free home this weekend!
DDiva · 23/04/2021 08:23
To be honest you've put up with this since February and your leaving in a month I wouldn't be bringing this up with my neighbour's now.
If the yards are that small I imagine moving it wont make that much difference. You also haunt mentioned doing anything to plug the gaps in your windows. Use some tape or stuffing to help reduce the gaps in the windows and concentrate on getting ready for the move.
Good luck in your new home .
Blindmelon123 · 23/04/2021 08:25
@Iceniii
Thank you, yes I agree and I have worried myself more by researching it! Apparently smoke particles are the equivalent of 1,000 petrol car fumes in terms of harmful chemicals and pollution. Crazy!
BeastOfBODMAS · 23/04/2021 08:31
For the sake of peace, 1 month and a few £ I would alert them to the issue and offer to contribute towards a box of Japanese smokeless charcoal for them to try.
Google binchotan, we use it as we live in a similar tiny gardened terrace. We get ours from online chef suppliers, it’s a job to get lit but literally smokeless.
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