To regret having my 7 month old
Ineedmorezzzzzzs · 22/04/2021 20:10
I know how horrible that sounds, but I do love him with all my being but I am so worn out, he doesn't sleep, he wants to be held alot, my back is in bits. I can't help but think how easy life would be if I hadn't of had him. On top of this my relationship has broke up a few days ago, I've other children to look after too, I struggle with my mental health alot, I just feel so down and so alone, I don't have a support system. I ended the relationship, its been coming awhile but I thought I could save it but its just progressively got worse and it was just bringing me down. But now I feel like I've so much on my plate that I'm afraid I will crack. I dont know the point of this post, I just needed to get it out and hope someone can help give me the strength to keep going
Am I being unreasonable?AIBU
You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.
Suzi888 · 22/04/2021 20:28
I don’t really have any experience, so I’m sorry if I say the wrong thing. Congratulations on your new baby, you clearly love him a lot.
Of course you are feeling the way you are, you are absolutely exhausted and to top it all you have other children too. You sound very strong to me, caring for your children and ending a relationship. That’s a considerable amount of pressure to put on yourself, but ending the relationship sounds like the right decision.
You say you struggle with your mental health, have you considered seeing your G.P? Have you thought about a nursery or child care place just so that you can have a rest/catch up on chores etc.
How old are your other children?
EchidnaKidney · 22/04/2021 21:12
OP I'm so sorry you're going through this. It sounds really tough. 7 month old babies (and any kids to be fair) are super hard work and without much support it can get too much quite quickly. Your relationship breaking up has obviously been a really difficult thing recently but will get easier so don't think that just because it seems impossible now it will be the same in the future. You'll get through it and it will get better. Can you think of any small, practical things that would give you a little bit of breathing space - staying with family, joining activities or groups etc?
Peachee · 22/04/2021 21:18
Bless you!! I found the baby stage really hard going.. since my son hit 12 months and he can get around things are so much better.. hang in there.. can you get yourself a baby carrier.. second hand baby Bjorne was a life saver for me.. I can completely sympathise with the bad back situation too..
I’m pregnant with my second and so scared about how I will cope. Xx
Dogfan · 22/04/2021 21:37
I don't have children but a lot of my friends do and all of them have struggled even with lots of support from friends, family and partners. You are doing fine. Hopefully as things get easier you can enjoy your baby but in the meantime you probably do need some support from a therapist perhaps? Speak to your GP about options. You are definitely not alone but you shouldn't be left to deal with this on your own.
2ndtimemum2 · 22/04/2021 21:41
So been in your position op and it will pass there was 10 days straight where my little one didn't sleep for more than 2 hours I was exhausted, she cried if I tried to leave her she was constantly whingy and it nearly broke me, I actually hated my life so much I cried every day...like you I'm doing it alone and your trying to juggle a break up and a crying baby but I promise you it will pass. Is there anyone that could give you a few hours break just so you can get your thoughts together and process all the changes you life is going through?
WingingIt101 · 22/04/2021 21:49
You sound like you’ve got a really tough job on your hands. My dd is 12 months and I remember feeling so overwhelmed around 6-9months - they seem so frustrated that they know what they want but haven’t mastered the skills to do it themselves, weaning mess, sleep disasters. It’s so joyous having a baby but it’s also bloody exhausting and difficult and at times I wanted to walk out the door and not come back. Then of course you feel terrible for feeling that way.
I’m trying to say it sounds very normal and understandable. I hope you can find ways to make things feel easier and have good support around you - family friends baby groups opening now. Come on here and chat if you need x
Ineedmorezzzzzzs · 23/04/2021 00:46
For some of ye saying its a phase, I wish it was, sleep has always been an issue, and one of my other children has ASD and sleep isn't great there either and now im scared he will have it too, its just an instinct I have. I'm currently trying to get two of them back to sleep. I just feel like all thsts ahead for me is doom, I've been to the gp countless times and been on countless medications but they don't work for me. I'm currently a few days after stopping the last one because I felt suicidal, I don't have support, I have no one to talk to or confide in. I hate my life I'm hanging on by s thread I'm.just so worn out
Greygreenblue · 23/04/2021 01:14
It sounds like you are doing it tough OP. I think if I was you, hanging on by a thread with no sleep, no support etc I would:
a) get my baby referred to the nearest sleep school ASAP - here we would do that via the maternal and child health nurse.
b) contact your post natal mental health support service - there should be one of some kind.
c) pick a family member or friend - even if not currently close, and call them. Ask them to look after the kids so you can sleep.
It is so hard to get on top of things without sleep. There is a reason sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture.
Ineedmorezzzzzzs · 23/04/2021 01:30
@Greygreenblue unfortunately there is no such thing as sleep school where I live
Also I have been referred to a mental health doctor for meds but unfortunately I'm.very sensitive to meds and they just seem to make.me worse, and i have tried pretty much all types at this point.
and I don't have friends I have no support only my ex that's it, I have one family member who's currently sick. I'm literally on my own with nobody to even text
MrsTerryPratchett · 23/04/2021 01:41
This place was as much real life and anywhere else when I was isolated and DD was small.
Drop in any time and have a chat. Just make sure to ignore any crap.
Higgeldypiggeldy35 · 23/04/2021 02:18
Op I have a newborn and have been having these feelings too. And I have family nearby to support and a partner so my heart goes out to you. Lock down babies and their mum's have been Nadu affected by covid too. No baby groups etc. They should be starting soon. Can you afford to put baby in nursery for even a day to give you a break? Or even a morning? Have you tried joining a FB baby and toddler page local to your area and see what's on? It's a good way to meet friends. And contact your health visitor x
kathlenemomof3 · 23/04/2021 02:45
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