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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this contractor at work is a cheeky sod.

32 replies

UghWaitingForTheSugarCrash · 22/04/2021 12:47

I'm absolutely kicking myself for not saying something at the time but I was so shocked I didn't say anything at all. Just sat there with my mouth gaping open. A colleague said "meh it's nothing" but I'm livid. 

I'm a HR manager but I also recently started looking after the maintenance of the building. Apparently we have a contractor who does all our odds and ends around the building, I called him last week and he didn't answer. We ended exchanging texts and I told him I will next be in the office Weds/Thurs/Fri. He said he'd try get in Wednesday but never specified a time or let me know he was coming.

My diary is usually full up on the days I'm in the office but I was in a meeting, potentially dismissing someone. My office door was firmly shut, my office is completely frosted glass but you can see whether I am in a meeting or not.

Contractor (who I've never met) stands outside my office mouthing "are you X?" and I nodded (still in the disciplinary) and said I am in a meeting. Didn't think anymore of it.

About 5 minutes passes and without even a polite knock, contractor barges the office door open and says "I'm sorry, I'm not waiting any longer" and proceeds to engage in full blown conversation, telling me in a sarcastic tone about the stuff he'd fixed. You can clearly see there's someone very upset and two managers!

AIBU or is this totally unacceptable? I feel stumped on how to bring this up the next time I see him! He looked like he'd cave my head in with a spoon and I feel really silly getting worked up about approaching him. But it needs sorting, right?

Sorry, what a boring AIBU Blush

OP posts:
Original poster
UghWaitingForTheSugarCrash · 22/04/2021 12:48

Should probably add... I'm normally quite confident at dealing with issues but he seems very irate/unapproachable!

OP posts:
CastleCrasher · 22/04/2021 12:53

Of course it needs sorting- I assume you told him to leave immediately? The person whose disciplinary it was must have been so upset by the intrusion!

It would also be useful to have a do not disturb sign on your door for this type of meeting to remove any doubt

VictoriaLudorum · 22/04/2021 12:54

I think you need to formalise the situation.
Issue a proper meeting invitation - with agenda, for example to review SLAs or similar - in your office. Ask him to bring in schedules of work done and to highlight issues that keep arising (if there are any). Outcome is to rationalise activities and identify any areas that need more or less attention.
You could also ask him to brief you, as you are new to that area.
Clearly he either thinks he is more important than he really is, or he just doesn't understand your remit.
By the way, signalling to people whilst you are in a meeting is not very professional, neither is barging in midway through something.

Northofsomewhere · 22/04/2021 12:56

If he has to report to you in person (is email/text an appropriate option?) then I'd make sure he knew when you were available (IE.10:30-11 or 2:30-3) and in particular the times you were absolutely unavailable and therefore not to be disturbed. I'd also make it clear that it was inappropriate that he came into a meeting but at the same time I understand he didn't want to wait around for a potentially unspecified amount of time possibly with other clients jobs lined up too.

I think if reporting the actions taken via email would work the you need to consider it as an option. Could he provide photos and a brief description over email therefore neither are waiting around or disturbed. Especially if you're likely to be very busy on the only days he can see you in person. If he becomes irate or inappropriate during the conversation about his behaviour then you can start looking for another contractor if that's within your power, he should behave like a professional even if he is irritated or angry.

Original poster
UghWaitingForTheSugarCrash · 22/04/2021 12:57

I did apologise to the person who's disciplinary it was and we were all absolutely gob smacked. He's not an employee of ours either, so can't even deal with it the usual way.

Good idea about the DND sign, although I usually have the door wide open if I'm not busy. I can't ever imagine barging into an office, I even knock on my doctors who is expecting me already!

@VictoriaLudorum thank you!

OP posts:
MumW · 22/04/2021 13:08

How unprofessional. I'd be looking into the odd job man's contract and then looking for someone else.

Eviethyme · 22/04/2021 13:10

He could have just left and text you the details. Was no need to see you in person. So he is being unreasonable and unprofessional

Overdueanamechange · 22/04/2021 13:12

You should have just shouted to him to get out. Don't you have a PA or secretary to field this sort of thing?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/04/2021 13:12

Does your building have a reception/front desk?

TheresNothingIWantMore · 22/04/2021 13:16

"I feel stumped on how to bring this up the next time I see him! He looked like he'd cave my head in with a spoon"

Why would you see or speak to this person again?! Pay for works so far and find another contractor

Jangle33 · 22/04/2021 13:18

I’d be terminating his contract pronto.

Etinox · 22/04/2021 13:19

If he’s not an employee surely you can just stop using him and tell him why.
I’d also take the opportunity to review policies at work and interruptions etc. A sign on the door or asking/ telling a colleague not to disturb you/ reception policies about unaccompanied people etc.
Flowers that sort of experience can be surprisingly unsettling.

WeAllHaveWings · 22/04/2021 13:24

He is an odd job man and it is likely he is unaware of office etiquette and the sensitivity of your meetings. Working in HR you must be aware people have different experiences of different work environments and ways of working? In his head he told you he was there, waited patiently outside for you to talk to him and in his head you ignored him and he needed to do something to get on with his job. Not saying he was right, but I can understand how this could happen and maybe he just didn't know how else to deal with it.

It was unfortunate what happened, but all it needs is a conversation with him about future ways of working together. If it happens again after that then deal with it.

Jaxhog · 22/04/2021 13:26

That is outrageous! While a DND sign on your office door is a good idea, it is NOT ok to barge into someone's office. Or even to interrupt a conversation.

If you decide to keep him, make it very clear that he will be attending you at a specific time and day in the future. If he doesn't agree, I would be looking for a new contractor.

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 13:29

If he isn't your employee then you have a couple of choices.

Self employed: tell him that his behaviour was entirely unporfessional and his services willnot be required going forward.

Someone elses employee: call his boss and tell him the same thing

And then a quick review of your procedures, including a DND sign!

Beautiful3 · 22/04/2021 13:33

He is a contractor so.pay for the work done so far and get another one in.

Angrypregnantlady · 22/04/2021 13:33

I'd just start using someone else tbh. It wasn't a mix up or anything that can be excused. He was rude, arrogant and dismissive of you. You can't change that.

Original poster
UghWaitingForTheSugarCrash · 22/04/2021 13:38

We do have a receptionist but because he does have access to the building out of office hours, he has keys etc so just lets himself in.

I would assume he would just call to say he's on his way to give me a heads up. Not wave his arms about outside my office, knowing I was in a meeting Confused

Yes, he doesn't need to specifically see me, a quick text or even let the admin staff know (they've told him prior he would probably need to book a meeting with me but ignored it)

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 13:38

He is an odd job man and it is likely he is unaware of office etiquette and the sensitivity of your meetings. Or an impatient man not caring about whatever else was happening when a woman was seemingly ignoring him.

Either way, barging into a closed office isn't normal, for anyone!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 22/04/2021 13:43

Just email him with a process he needs to follow from now on.
*keys for emergency ooh times
*report to reception who will have been told what job he needs to pick up

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 13:46

It seems he has alrady been told that... and has ignored it!

LookItsMeAgain · 22/04/2021 14:13

First off - find out if there is an actual contract with this person or his company and see what the terms are.
Next - schedule a meeting with him and his manager (if there is one) to discuss how things are expected to be handled going forwards.
Depending on the first two things listed above, you could decide to stop using this company or even request a different contractor be assigned to your office building.

What you could have done is politely excuse yourself from the private meeting you were having saying something like "Please excuse me for just a moment while I tell the contractor that I'm in a meeting and he'll have to schedule a time to come back" - then pop your head out of the meeting and tell the contractor "I'm in a meeting at the moment and I don't have time to discuss X, Y or Z with you right now. Can you come back in an hour and we can go through them together?" maybe...

CuriousaboutSamphire · 22/04/2021 14:15

You mean what she could have done is stop a disciplinary meeting to tell someone to have a little patience and to follow the normal channels?

I expect she was too focussed on getting a disciplinary meeting right, avoiding all the usual legal pitfalls!

CirclesWithinCircles · 22/04/2021 14:20

@WeAllHaveWings

He is an odd job man and it is likely he is unaware of office etiquette and the sensitivity of your meetings. Working in HR you must be aware people have different experiences of different work environments and ways of working? In his head he told you he was there, waited patiently outside for you to talk to him and in his head you ignored him and he needed to do something to get on with his job. Not saying he was right, but I can understand how this could happen and maybe he just didn't know how else to deal with it.

It was unfortunate what happened, but all it needs is a conversation with him about future ways of working together. If it happens again after that then deal with it.

Its highly unlikely that he is unaware how rude he is, but far more likely that he such an ego that he has decided to ignore normal manners.

I'd get rid of him. He sounds difficult to work with and to pin down to specific dates, for what must be quite an important contract for him. Just terminate him. Life is too short for adults with deliberate behavioural problems.

Bursting into a meeting with 3 people is really not on. Anyone that needs that explained to them isn't worth the bother.

LookItsMeAgain · 22/04/2021 14:22

@CuriousaboutSamphire - yes, but she shouldn't have to. If he was that impatient and didn't know what other role the OP has in the company so may not have understood that the meeting shouldn't have been disturbed. Crazy it is but if the Facilities Management role is new to the OP and to this guy, a very little slack needs to be had.

Don't go in all guns blazing would be my advice.

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