To change nursery?

[Mylittlesandwich]

I've posted about them before, possibly under another username but I chilled out a bit and trusted them again. This will be long so I apologise.

DS is 17 months and attends a private nursery 2 full days a week. He's a big boy, 96th percentile for weight and 99th for height so he outgrew baby bouncers pretty quickly. Last Friday at pick up he had been put in one again. I've previously mentioned to them that I wasn't happy with that and ask that they not do it again.

This time I emailed the nursery so they couldn't say they didn't know I'd said anything. Things have blown up from here.

The following day the nursery manager called and said she would put it in his notes so he wouldn't be put in it again, so far so good, I'd also mentioned that we were working on his gross motor skills as we help him to learn to walk. They said they'd do the same and could they contact our health visitor. I get on with her really well so said of course.

Today, 2 days later my health visitor gets in touch, the nursery apparently have some concerns. He doesn't crawl (he does crawl he doesn't walk so I have no idea what they're on about). He doesn't talk much (he has a few words and my health visitor isn't concerned). He doesn't settle well (this has never been mentioned to me). He cries when other children approach him (again hasn't been mentioned but as an only child in a pandemic I'm not hugely surprised).

I called the nursery and they're telling a very different story, they didn't call these concerns they were just asking what they could do to help. They apparently didn't mention his speech, my health visitor did. They didn't mention any of these things to me because they're not real issues, just things they could work on. They never said he could walk and not crawl because that's not true.

I do trust my health visitor and almost feel that I'm being gaslighted by the nursery. I'm wondering if they have our best interests at heart or if I should look into moving DS?

Just seen you've clarified it was a jumperoo. As much as I bloody loved our jumperoo I would be seriously questioning any nursery setting using them.

I wouldn't have any confidence in a nursery that called a HV and asked what they could do to help a child in those circumstances

Do they have bars attached to the walls at the nursery? Almost like a ballet class? When my 2 were in nursery at that age I remember all the kids holding onto the bars and staggering along at their various stages of development. Really helped with balance.

No way should he be in a bouncer, he'll fall out and smack his head.

No issues in the speech IMHO, he's too young. Unless he suddenly pipes up : 'Need to change nursery!'

I'd find a good childminder.
Get some continuity for him and you.

Jumperoos are bad for development and can cause serious problems if over used. They are banned in some countries for this reason. I wouldn't be very impressed at a nursery having them at all for any age. It would be on a par with having children watching TV at a nursery. Not really what you are paying for, when they supposedly have plenty of trained staff to look after the children.
For a 17 month old it's pretty cruel. If they are not walking yet they will still want to move around by crawling, investigate the environment, choose their own toys etc.
I would change nurseries to somewhere where they have some idea about child development.

I also don't get the health visitor involvement...all the things you mentioned are pretty normal for his age. It won't be the first time they've had a 17 month old who can't walk yet. Same for speech. The nursery should have their own learning targets for each child to encourage them with whatever stage they are up to. They use pre written criteria for what age children should do what things, the same as the HV. And presumably the HV can't tell them anything about your child as that would be private information. So she can only give general advice. Hopefully she told them not to put him in a jumperoo!

I've worked in two dreadful nurseries and all I can say is please trust you gut. Your poor baby isn't able to tell you what goes on when you leave him there so if your having doubts find somewhere else!

I'd be extremely put off by them even having a Jumperoo. Ours was sold when DS was about 11 months - it's only the very little ones that would even fit within the weight limit!

I would change nursery and forget them. Start fresh. The one DS goes to have been amazing at helping him with walking and talking by the novel approach of, surprise surprise, walking him around holding his hands and talking to him a lot. Not sticking him in a baby toy and calling a HV.

I spoke to the nursery at pick up yesterday and they're claiming that they don't have any concerns they just want to speak to our health visitor for some advice.

She has been very clear with them, if they need her to go to the nursery then they have to be able to explain and demonstrate their concerns as well as what their plan of action is to address them. She can support them with this but is not going to do their job for them because as far as she's concerned there are no issues. She also did tell them off for having him in the jumperoo which they then tried to deny.

He's there just now, the visit is scheduled for around 11:30 and then both the nursery and my health visitor are going to call me. From there me and DH will make a final decision on moving him.

How did it go?

I would definitely move nurseries. We had our son in a council run nursery - we thought they would be more likely to adhere to guidelines and not rip us off so much as a private one. We sadly moved away (it was fab there) so changed nurseries. If you need reassurance about doing that, our son took to the new place really well.

I'd not have a kid of mine in a nursery that uses jumperoos at all. Far too tempting to leave the kid in there because it keeps them in one place and easy to forget and leave them in for too long- causing potential for developmental delay. Also, they're supposed to be on their toes in those things, aren't they? And I bet they're not adjusting the height for each kid.

I'd have moved him when I clocked the jumperoo, even if he hadn't been in it at the time. Given what you've just said, I'd definitely move him if I were you.

So my HV thinks it was crossed wires. The nursery seem to have their own criteria for developmental milestones which don't match up with the HV. She's sending them a copy of hers. She's perfectly happy with his development and so the nursery are too. The nursery say they wanted to reach out for additional support and that they've received that now.
I asked my HV what she thought I should do and she thinks I should give them another chance so we aren't resettling him.
I'm still not 100% but I need to speak to DH.

I would have thought nurseries had the same milestones etc as HV.
Just seems abit iffy to me to be honest!
What did they say about the jumperoo?

I’d move my child I think. The jumper op thing, the defensiveness, the poor communication.

FWIW my DTs are at a state nursery and although it’s more scruffy it’s head and shoulders over the posh private nurseries my big children went to.

*jumperoo not jumper op

That’s crazy they still try and use one! Ours has been dismantled for about 2 months because DC just cries when restrained and foods not involved he’s only 10m.

Glad you’re getting it sorted