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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Unreasonable past behaviour that you would never have dared run by AIBU

39 replies

Rosewood017 · 21/04/2021 23:57

What unreasonable behaviour have you committed in the past, that would have earned you a dressing down on mumsnet 'AIBU'?

I'll start. When I moved in with my now-husband, he had a painting on his wall of a naked woman, painted by his ex. It looked very much like a self-portrait and she looked hot. I crafted a frumpy bikini out of black paper and blue-tac'd it on.

OP posts:
Ijustknowitstimetogo · 22/04/2021 00:10

Perfectly reasonable.

WhoEatsPopTarts · 22/04/2021 00:14

I went on holiday with a man I’d only been seeing for six weeks.

After three months we moved in together..

After nine months I was pregnant.

After 25 years we’re still together

DioneTheDiabolist · 22/04/2021 00:29

All of my past behaviour would have earned me a dressing down on mumsnet 'AIBU'? When I've mentioned any of it in AIBU, it actually has.Grin

SympathyFatigue · 22/04/2021 00:33

@Rosewood017

What unreasonable behaviour have you committed in the past, that would have earned you a dressing down on mumsnet 'AIBU'?

I'll start. When I moved in with my now-husband, he had a painting on his wall of a naked woman, painted by his ex. It looked very much like a self-portrait and she looked hot. I crafted a frumpy bikini out of black paper and blue-tac'd it on.

🤣🤣🤣 that's fair enough op. I've done similar. Yanbu.
Mumoftwoinprimary · 22/04/2021 00:38

Got married after 17 months of being with dh. Still together 20 years and 2 kids later.

JackieLavertysWeirdVoice · 22/04/2021 00:42

None of this is U!

madmara · 22/04/2021 00:47

Is the blu-tac the unreasonable bit? Surely you should have slashed it Grin

Ticklist · 22/04/2021 01:25

I was expecting a I "accidentally" knocked it and it fell off the wall and smashed into teeny tiny bits that couldn't be saved so I drew a stick lady on a post it note and it's been there ever since.

WombOfOnesOwn · 22/04/2021 02:10

My husband and I got together when both of us had other partners and snuck around. I would have told anyone it was doomed if they'd asked me about a situation like ours! But we're now 8 years and three children in (we'd like another), and in spite of occasional issues I'd say are normal to relationships about in-laws and differing expectations for household things, all of which have been on an improving trajectory for years, we're going strong.

MrsTerryPratchett · 22/04/2021 02:17

I moved country for DH after having spent less than a couple of months with him.

Screw you AIBU it all worked out.

Everyday21 · 22/04/2021 06:12

I regularly went through my ex's phone, I always found something but was 17 and could be talked around by him. Didnt stop the cycle though.

It was a gut feeling. I've been with dh 12 years and never felt the need to check his phone but in honesty if I got that gut feeling I'd check. IAU

Original poster
Rosewood017 · 22/04/2021 08:07

@madmara

Is the blu-tac the unreasonable bit? Surely you should have slashed it Grin
Damn maybe I should have posted it here first for inspo! 😄
OP posts:
Cocomarine · 22/04/2021 08:12

My XH was a cheat. I used to try to find evidence by checking his phone. It’s really hard to break up your marriage when you have children, when you don’t have evidence. Some of AIBU would roast me for checking it, either because it’s morally repugnant or “the trust is gone anyway”. I don’t regret it, and never felt guilty about it.

Cocomarine · 22/04/2021 08:14

Current behaviour: I earn loads more than my husband, and he doesn’t have access to a single penny of it. Joint accounts can kiss my arse. I earned it, I’m keeping it.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 22/04/2021 08:17

I deliberately got the name of my exes girlfriend wrong (he cheated on me) and then when she corrected me I said "whatever, its not important" 🤣🤣

I'm not even sorry.

Ivebeeninlockdowntoolong · 22/04/2021 08:20

I did, in my first foray into mumsnet. I got a right ticking off and I was so glad for the honest perspectives. That's what makes MN gold - you can come here for advice on anything that you cannot do IRL!

JustGiveMeGin · 22/04/2021 08:26

I had sex with a guy that I knew was in a relationship (was 18/19 at the time, don't know if that absolves me of my sins)
Absolutely hated one of my step children and was thankful that their mother moved with them to the other end of the country.
Probably a few more if I think about it, especially from when I was younger. I have mellowed into a much nicer person with age.

Original poster
Rosewood017 · 22/04/2021 09:04

@Everyday21

I regularly went through my ex's phone, I always found something but was 17 and could be talked around by him. Didnt stop the cycle though.

It was a gut feeling. I've been with dh 12 years and never felt the need to check his phone but in honesty if I got that gut feeling I'd check. IAU

I went through this too with an ex cheating with his (supposedly psycho) ex. It was before screen-shotting was possible. Always amazed me how easy he found it to lie!

Sadly I created a competition in my head with the ex to keep him. Until I realised that he really wasn't worth it! No sense of humour, angry, tight and lacked intellect. And quite a bit shorter than me.

Also never felt inclined to look through DH's phone.

OP posts:
Wanderlust20 · 22/04/2021 09:11

Well according to other AIBU threads running on here at the moment, I was being very unreasonable to have a legal ceremony abroad then a "sham" /"fake" ceremony when I got home so my family could witness us making a commitment to one another! Wink Don't get the logic on here sometimes...

BashfulClam · 22/04/2021 09:15

I also checked an ex’s phone. He was a serial cheater. He loved the drama I think.

I moved in with the after 3 months, once engaged we didn’t bother getting married for almost 10 years lol.

AllDoneIn · 22/04/2021 09:20

I 'stole' a frenemy's boyfriend at college. I would have been castigated by the MN massive and told he was no prize.

The Mumsnet massive as ever would be right. He was a cockwomble. It was instant karma for me.

Cocomarine · 22/04/2021 09:22

@AllDoneIn doesn’t that make you the frenemy?! 🤣

AllDoneIn · 22/04/2021 09:25

@Cocomarine a retaliatory frenemy yes Grin But she was the frenemy first - in fact, my first ever frenemy.

Course she still did ok because I took the cockwomble off her hands. In a way, she still had the last laugh! shakes fist

oppositeofbubbly · 22/04/2021 09:27

PIL have a thing about family members having a specific novelty mug that is 'theirs' DH mug was a 'world's best boyfriend' mug given to him by an ex. I always found it odd that MIL continued to give him drinks in it even after she dumped him (years before DH and I met) and felt irrationally uncomfortable about it. I did buy him a souvenir mug when we went on holiday once and suggested he keep it at him mum's but she was having none of it. When I was pregnant with DC1 I told DH that he had to make her stop using it or I would throw it at her (clearly this would have been dangerous and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have done it!). DH chickened out of speaking to her about it but it did 'accidentally' fall on the floor and smash. DH tells me it was pretty sturdy and it took a few attempts and a kick to break!

Maggiesfarm · 22/04/2021 09:28

That is brilliant Rosewood! Certainly quite reasonable.

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