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To expect at least a card from colleagues??

15 replies

ForeveronEtsy · 21/04/2021 23:32

I’m aware I might sound totally ridiculous and over sensitive here. However I’ve had a crappy few weeks and am taking this to heart.

I am constantly paying into ‘collections’ at work when people are off sick, leaving, retiring, new baby....I have volunteered to organise these a couple of times also. I work across 2 teams and therefore there is something at least once a month.

AIBU to be upset then that I have been off work with covid (and really quite ill) and have received nada? I work so hard and it’s made me feel quite undervalued.
Would you be upset by this?
Would I be wrong to refuse to chip into these things in future? (there is one running at the moment for someone who else who is leaving!)

OP posts:

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/04/2021 23:33

If they usually do something for people off sick, and you’ve been off sick and got nothing, then of course you feel hurt. Sorry you’ve been so poorly and hope you’re on the mend Flowers


BackforGood · 21/04/2021 23:39

What Anne said


Hardbackwriter · 21/04/2021 23:39

I'm really sorry you've been ill. I can see why you're upset if it's normal to send them to people off sick where you work. How long have you been off? In my office we only send them to people on long-term sick leaves of months not weeks, but if people routinely get them after how long you've been off then you are very reasonable to be upset. Sadly this often happens to people who organise these things - everyone relies on them to do it and so no one steps up for them.


ClareBlue · 21/04/2021 23:40

It depends what the norm is. We don't do sick cards etc but if we did and you were excluded, that is wrong.
After decades in the work force, I genuinely believe work collections should be tax deductible expense.


ArcheryAnnie · 21/04/2021 23:42

It's understandable that you feel slighted when you've been so ill - but do people understand how very ill you've been? The trouble is that a lot of people have had covid, lightly, and so presume anyone who hasn't died have had as easy a time of it as they have. They may not have understood the real situation, rather than simply be ignoring you.


Feelingconfused2020 · 21/04/2021 23:46

Ah poor you. I worked at a place once where a particular member of the admin team had become the person who did all the gifts/cards. One year we all forgot to even acknowledge Her 50th birthday even though she did a card for everyone's birthday every year!


Feelingconfused2020 · 21/04/2021 23:48

Sorry I sent too early... We were all horrified and she never said anything but I imagine she was hurt. We did apologise and for her 51st we made a massive fuss but I remember thinking at the time that some people just take it on as their burden in workplaces and this means that others forget about it as they think someone else has taken charge. Maybe you are that person in your workplace?


ForeveronEtsy · 21/04/2021 23:51

@Hardbackwriter yes they know how unwell I’ve been. You could be right though as I have only been off a couple of weeks.
I just remember my colleague being sent a big bunch of flowers to her house when she had covid and I’m sure that was quite early on into her sickness! Maybe people are just sick of covid now Grin and it could be an oversight...
I am still sulking over it.

OP posts:

Hdiebfhs · 22/04/2021 00:07

We don't do sickness at work only deaths, leaving, marriage and new babies bit tbf even all that is hit and miss. I got nothing for my 40 but a colleague for flowers because her mum was ill !

Swings and roundabouts. I wasn't offended.


Ijustknowitstimetogo · 22/04/2021 00:14

I’ve paid into loads of collections in the past. My colleagues have never once done one for me. In about ten years.
I’ve just assumed they don’t like me very much.

At least I’ve stopped now. Wfh has been a good get out.


EverdeRose · 22/04/2021 07:45

YANBU I've paid into every collection, dropped off food / supplies on my day off for celebrations. I couldn't work during covid as I was pregnant but sent a care package in every week.

I didnt receive a card or anything when my baby was born. A member of staff who had her baby two weeks after me received a huge hamper of baby things. It hurts, I'm done with it all now.


Cocomarine · 22/04/2021 07:51

Out place wouldn’t send “just” for being sick. It would have to be extended sick leave. Was your colleague with the Covid flowers early on in the pandemic, when it was a bit of a novelty and people were rather grimly fascinated by it? Now, it’s just seen (at our place) as the same as being off with flu. Actually even less, as we’ve had so many people off asymptomatic or with mild symptoms.

I hate this sort of collection crap, there’s never enough of a precise definition / hierarchy. Either have a policy of “third day sick triggers flowers” or stick to leaving. There are regular threads from annoyed people on here!


Cocomarine · 22/04/2021 07:53

Also - you say you work across two teams - more possibility that each thinks the other is responsibility for organising for you?

Has your office suffered increased sickness due to Covid? If they are doing flowers for that, you might just be the unlucky person that was Peak Collections!


ForeveronEtsy · 22/04/2021 21:03

@EverdeRose that’s awful :( I am pregnant too so will see if I get anything then!

@Cocomarine yes it was early on in the pandemic! Love the thought that the novelty of covid has worn off Grin

Not to drip feed but I was off last year for much longer (mental health struggles) and got nothing then either.

I will stop bothering. Not long until my mat leave anyway Smile

OP posts:

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 22/04/2021 21:10

We have a fund. If you pay in you get something for big birthdays, weddings, babies, bereavements, extended sickness. I really like it.

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