Mummy friends...

[Boomboombam]

Did anyone form proper, close friendships with mum friends from the baby/toddler years?
I get together in mum type groups and like the mums, but I don’t feel that real connection as I have had with friends in previous phases of my life..school, uni, work etc. It just makes me feel a bit lonely I suppose. It all feels very on the surface and convenient just for the kids and stage of life.
Does it change when the kids are at school? Perhaps it’s me, I don’t feel I’ve got my really close mum friends yet 🤷🏻‍♀️

I dont have any. I returned to work quite early whereas the others in baby group had a full maternity leave. That didn't help. But as pp has said, many came in pairs anyway. I think alot of people joined groups with pre existing friends. Then covid hit so haven't been to groups at all. I work a lot and so am worried I have missed the chance for mum friends. I cant go for coffees and meet for playdates on weekdays really. In a funny way, hopefully covid has meant im not that far behind where others are as they'll have gone back to work now too and maybe will be itching to make friends now groups can start again:/

First time around, I didn't until they were at school, still friends with those now.

Had a baby in 2020 and COVID has put paid to any mum friends this time around. Back at work so no real opportunities to meet anyone either.

Yes with my NCT group but it took time. We met weekly from the moment our children were born just for company and I would say it was 8/9 months in that we properly got to know each other for who we are rather than Simon's Mum.

Initially all talk was around the fact that we happened to go through the experience of having a child at the same time and it gradually turned into us all getting to know each other and then also the husbands.

It takes a lot of effort on everyones part but I can say hand on heart we are all closest friends now (we first met 5 years ago)

I was told I'd find mummy friends after I left my job (24mile commute) to become a sahm. I went to play groups and tried to get to know the nursery/school parents. At some points I managed to get a group together for coffee, but these mums moved away/kids changed school/mental health issues/got a job and unfortunately one fell out with me. I was left with just greetings at the gate. My eldest is in yr 6 and I've completely given up making friends. I even joined the schools pta one year. I hope you do find lovely mummy friends. Just because it never happened for me, doesnt mean the same for you.

I made friends with a couple of people from my antenatal group, these friendships lasted till the kids went to school but were more about getting out and about with the kids than adult friendship.
Became Facebook friends with people from baby activity groups but everyone had their own friends.
Things got better when school started, 4 years of school gate bonding and I’m good friends with 4 ladies who I can go out with in our own right.

I’ve not made any close friends with other Mum’s (DS is 2).

The NCT group I was in still send WhatsApp messages occasionally but we never met up loads. I met some nice women at baby groups and one Mum on the mat ward who I met up with a few times, but no really close friends- I wouldn’t expect to at this stage really; everyone’s busy/exhausted and juggling multiple things. It’s nice having someone to go for a coffee with occasionally, but real, deep friendship comes based on shared experiences and takes years to develop.

I’ve recently met a couple of nice Mum’s while doing pick up at nursery, and I think they seem like people I could be friends with given time, but we’re expecting to move away in the autumn so I think I’ll be starting again then anyway.

My DPs made loads of really good friends when I started primary school; they threw themselves in to governors, PTA, local carnival committee and the church - that’s what I’d recommend. They’ve got a really good and wide social circle now and lots of true, old friends, but they’ve been in their town 30 years and many of the friends just started off as other Mum’s having coffee at the church playgroup. Give it time.

I had a couple but they all dropped off so I guess they weren’t ‘real’ friendships. It’s hard to make really decent friends at any stage of life though.

I have mum-friends, but they're not my 'besties for lyfe' type people. Most of them are in a different circumstance from me, had children during their teens, all very 'I was born here, I will raise my family here, then my kids will raise their children here etc', watch Love Island and follow Mrs Hinch type group. Which doesn't stop us bring friends, it's just often I run out of things to talk about. Sometimes there's some very childish drama that I cannot be doing with.

I also dislike staying one place too long, and we've been here 10 odd years now, I have little reason to make big connections. I'd hope to keep in touch with the mums I met here, generally it's been a huge help having other people going through the same stages to ask all the silly or worrying questions and would be a shame to completely lose that.

Not my antenatal group no, although we were friendly and they were "useful" when all on mat leave, they were effectively friends of convenience and didnt last. I randomly got friendly with another preschool mum though and I genuinely really like her, we get on really well & meet up without the kids.

I have a 2.5yo and it was tough to get to know mummies at groups before lockdown (when he was a 1 yo) but now it feels like starting all over again, as now there's still no groups. Trying to stay hopeful!

No, not really. A couple maybe.

I went to work and had friends from there. They were parents too but we didn't spend all our time talking about our kids.

I met a few mums pre-lockdown DS is 3. They are nice but am just not sure we have quite enough in common to become best friends plus we are moving to a different area of London so not sure whether we'll keep in touch. Did try and visit a few playgrounds in our new area to check out mummy friends potential - if that doesn't sound too weird.

Moved around a lot so I dont have many longstanding friends nearby but do know that am ok at making friends so it's just a question of time and opportunity. With covid most of my colleagues are far away so am really relying for local mum friends for company during the week i.e. meeting up for coffees etc