Partner saying stuff to our little girl

[Chocolatekrispy]

I'm not sure if I'm being a bit precious or if partner is trying to make our dd think he is wonderful and I am shit!
There's been a few things said over the past few days which have made me a bit unsure of what he's trying to achieve.
I asked him if he would drive as I was absolutely knackered to which he said " do I have to I'm absolutely knackered " so I drove but dd said to him " daddy did you want to drive " to which he says " yes I said I would " - he didn't he made a huge deal out of it and to a 3 year old it looks like I'm not letting him drive, tonight I'm in a bit of a flap because I'm worrying she hasn't got a place at nursery and was chatting to partner about it but he wasn't listen so I half heartily said oh I'll talk to myself to which he said infront of dd " your shouting at me" I defo wasn't shouting we were outside and I wouldn't shout anyway, later on he's said he was sorry and that he couldn't hear me ! Surely if I was shouting he would have heard me?
Then he constantly says to dd " do you want mummy or daddy to do it " knowing full well she'll of course choose her daddy because I am with her all the time and she like him to play etc when he's home, aibu or is he being abit out of order ?

OP he's showing insecurity in his parenting abilities by playing one-upmanship.

Focus on being a fair and caring mum don't get caught up in gameplaying.

Hopefully he will grow up with time, but your DD needs you to at least be stable and put her first.

With the driving thing.... I know its a specific example but there are two ways of dealing with it to resolve it..... 1. "oh Daddy what a silly billy, you must have forgotten that I asked you to drive but you said you didn't want to, what a silly sausage" said lighthearted but it communicates the accurate massage.
Or my preference of 2. "oh silly mummy I didn't realise, here let me quickly pull over and we can swap so you can drive, sorry daddy"

The other stuff I think it's quite common to ask your child who they want to do stuff for them, and of course he won't do this on nights he's going out as he won't have the time to do it so why ask. And surely it's a good thing he asks and she wants him.... Gives you a bit of peace.

Another poster mentioned a different thread so if there's all sorts of other stuff going on then fair enough he might be a dick, but from what you've written it sounds pretty non issue.

I'm amazed so many people think OP is being precious. This is gaslighting. It's abuse. It is not ok. I suggest you look into emotional / psychological abuse and coercive control / gaslighting and see if you see some of the behaviours in your partner. There are lots of resources out there to help you or speak to a trusted friend if you need. But to be clear you are not being unreasonable, his behaviour is not ok and you should trust your instincts. If something feels wrong to you it probably is.

I have also read your other thread and I think with that knowledge YANBU. He is not on your side.