Ex's GFs DD is starting at my DCs school

[nottoday2021]

Her DD is starting at my DCs school in September, she’ll be in reception. I’ve never met her, but my DC like her. I’m a bit nervous tbh, mainly because I don’t like the way I look and just very insecure about my looks in general. We live 10 mins from each other, and now we’re probably likely to meet. My DS will be in Y1 from September, and Y1 classes and reception classes are very close. My DD told me this today, they’ve been at their dads house since Sunday and I picked them up from school today. She probably just found out a week ago or so, as the schools let you know in April right? Just so nervous, now I’m like right you have 5 months to lose 3 stone

My DS is in preschool and I didn't notice one of the reception mums was pregnant until she turned up with baby! See her walking past at drop off every day as preschool starts 5 mins later. My point is in the nicest way I'm sure she'll hardly notice and just give a quick hello if she does. If you want to make a change for yourself then great, hope you can find a way to feel positive.

Look at it as a positive push to improve your self esteem. More exercise? Healthier eating? A haircut and time on self care? You've got this.

You don't need to change yourself for anyone, especially her. Just be friendly and confident and get into a comfortable routine if you're going to be seeing her a lot. If you see her, wave and say Hi, prepare some small talk just in case (ask how her dd is settling in, chat about the kids, the weather, etc) and let the kids be the distraction if you really have to talk to her. I bet she's just as worried about talking to you!

Try to be open minded and just treat her as someone your kids like.

To be honest with different pick up points/times due to covid I don't even see parents of reception children when picking up year 1 & 2

So this is your children's step sibling? (or would be if they married)? OK. Well, as others say, your paths may not cross. Secondly, why the bloody hell does your size somehow mean you have to hide from her? Why does it make you wrong, or her better? By all means take positive steps to be healthier, I'm not someone who thinks we should embrace unhealthy weights etc but it doesn't make you bad person. Dress well, be smiling and happy and have your shit together if you want to 'win'. It's got nothing to do with your waistline.

In the scheme of things it really doesn’t matter and shouldn’t matter. But you might as well put your worry to some use and lose the weight anyway! Win win!

You’ll be on top of the world

And can easily get rid by September... half a stone w month!

I've been wanting to lose weight for a while, just kept putting it off. I haven't been happy with myself for a long time, but this does give me the motivation to work on myself. Not doing it for her, but for myself but this did give me the push I needed.

@Lovethewater yeah it's different pick up times, 5 mins give or take. Not much difference, there's a queue for reception/Y1 and another queue for parents of children in Y2/Y3. I have 3 dc, in reception /Y2/Y3. You're all going to see each other once you're in the school and on the way out. And I have to walk past the queue for reception/Y1 to get to the queue for Y2/Y3 at the back. So I know I'm going to see her sooner or later.. and the dc, especially DD is really excited for her start school .

And it does make me think, maybe her mother doesn't mind bumping in to me at the school since she chose to put her DD at the same school as my DC.

But yeah I really need to work on myself, and just the way I view myself. This just gave me the motivation to do so. And hopefully I'll be back here in September once I'm more confident to tell you all how it went

Flip your thinking OP. You're the "old hand" in this situation. You already know the school, its set-up and presumably quite a lot of other parents. The GF is the newbie here. Could you extend the hand of friendship (for the sake of your DC) by showing her the ropes, giving her a smile in the playground once we ditch the face-coverings, etc.?

I've been wanting to lose weight for a while, just kept putting it off. I haven't been happy with myself for a long time, but this does give me the motivation to work on myself. Not doing it for her, but for myself but this did give me the push I needed

I hear you sister. Take motivation wherever you find it, and the very best of luck x

We found out primary schools on Friday last week; councils might differ but they won’t have known long. The girlfriend may be feeling a bit nervous too especially as it’ll all probably be new to her. Have you met her before? Your DD will see you both there and pick up on how you act around her (the girlfriend) so might be worth thinking about what you want to do especially as the first time you see her on the school run will set the tone. Hopefully you feel able to say a friendly hello?

@Peasuper

I've been wanting to lose weight for a while, just kept putting it off. I haven't been happy with myself for a long time, but this does give me the motivation to work on myself. Not doing it for her, but for myself but this did give me the push I needed

I hear you sister. Take motivation wherever you find it, and the very best of luck x

Lovely post 🤛🏽

They're not your issue, stop wasting energy on them.

You live your life for you and your dc, nobody else 💐