to expect my midwife to spend more then 10 mins with me???

[aleciawalton]

i know they are busy and this is my second, but i feel its rude to just to rush me out of the office.
anything that is not on her schedual is not to be delt with. (i get my urine test, blood pressure then messured and listen to baby heart). 10mins if that and if i ask anything she reminds me of this time!
im 29 weeks planning a home birth and have seen my midwife about 4 times (i found out i was prego at 4 weeks). have been messured once and listened to baby twice. my next appointment is in 3 weeks at the office. and she said the one after that i can ask questions about the home birth. (however thats what she said at my 24 weeks appointment). the home birth she says is fine and there are no problems with having it.
i have had small amount of bleeding, vagina pain, SPD, fainting, dizzienss and very bad heart burn (even after drinking milk). her answer is always for me to see my GP (who says see MF) or go to physio.
is it too much to ask that she may talk to me about how im feeling or my problems in this pregnancy??
i also had a not so great first delivery and now the farther along i get the more scared i get. but dont feel like i should even bother talking to her.
the only good point to having her is she does not do home births so have no worry about getting her on the day.

It's crap aw - do you see her at the doctor's surgery? I only ask because several years ago I worked as a community midwife - the surgery staff booked all the clinic for me and all were just 10 minuite slots - it's crap and doesn't give you time to do more than the basic stuff. I used to make appointments to see people at home to go through any questions they had. Is she someone who would do this - or have you lost all confidence in her.

she makes the appointments on the computer when im in the room. (using my 10mins )
she also said at 24week check that she would see me for my 32 week at my house to start the planning for home birth, only to changer her mind at my 28 week check. so now going to the surgery.

I take it you have my MW then......

10 mins - I wish!

mine have been 5 mins maximum, including the last one when we had an arguement when I refused a blood test!

This does sound rubbish - all MWs are pushed for time but mine were never rude or unhelpful. You could always try complaining (once the baby is safely born).

ask her for a home visit or if you can have 2 continuous appointments? i used to go really early so it wouldn't be busy and i could go over my appointment time.

I've had all my appts at home for my last 3 pregnancies - my midwife finds it easier because they cover a large area and she just slots me into her rounds -she only does one clinic a week at our GP's and that's just for booking in -yours sounds like a right jobsworth AW

My MW has never even offered to let me listen to the babies heart beat, you are getting the delux service!

alecia,

It sounds like you are needing to talk about a lot of issues at the moment, does your GP have a counselling service you could be referred to ?

If you have specific medical issues book a G.P. appointment, if they are physio related, see the physio (this helped me tremendously but I know that SPD is much much worse than my minor aches were)

From this and some of your other posts on MN, I deduce that your head is possibly buzzing with issues at the moment and it does sound like you need to talk to someone. Can you just come out and say this to the M/W and ask to be referred to an appropriate service.

I personally couldn't get out of the M/W s office fast enough as after a wee test and blood pressure check plus a quick listen to baby's heartbeat, I didn't want a lecture on various other matters which I felt were none of the M/Ws business in the long run.

They don't generally discuss the birth 'til about 34 weeks or so if I remember correctly.

They're useless. Mine turned up late last time, I was her first patient. Then halfway through our meeting she suddenly said, oh I'm supposed to be in a meeting, and just left. Brilliant.
The other one I went to see at the surgery where they run this weird system of sitting you in a queue and it's first come first seen, no matter what time you're supposed to have your appointment. However apparently I didn't look pregnant (was only 11 weeks) so she didn't call me, just the bigger woman round me. It took about 3 turns for me to figure out what was going on. I could have been there all day.
They're useless, waste of space.
I'm having a caesarian so hopefully won't have to have them with me at the birth!

I dunno - next week when I will be 22 wks, will be the 2nd time I have seen her. Hasn't measured baby, or listened yet. I think it is the nature of the NHS these days, they have so little time. When you are there next, I would make sure I was plonked in a chair and not move until I had all my questions answered. Take in a list if it helps. If she really is pants, you can complain and request a change of mw. I did this initially, and it caused a bit of a ruckus (with her, not me) but I think it was a positive thing to do in the end. Find out who runs the mw team in your area.

maybe she thinks you know it all already?

Mine appts were so long ago (7 years+) I couldn't say either way tbh. She may have you down as a 'low-risk' birth hence the limited time with her but it might be worth having a word with her re a longer appt time. Does she have a another clinic? Maybe that's not so busy and you can have longer there.

I was more reassured the 2-3 times I saw a doctor even though I never seemed to see the same doctor twice (group practice). They seemed more 'respectful' of my pg than my mw was iywim. Mind most of them were male and/or beyond childbearing age.

Most midwifery appointments that are based in a surgery are only 10-15 minutes long. They really as only for the essentials, like BP, wee, having a feel of the baby's lie (later on in the pregnancy only) and listening to the heartbeat (but they rarely do that before 16-20 weeks).

If you want to talk about the birth and other things you may be better off requesting a home visit from someone on the team as then they can have more time to chat to you.

And most community midwifes have a HUGE caseload of women and babies to see (well ours do round here) so they don't just do antenatal clinics, they also do home deliveries, pre- and postnatal checks and see women at home or in local midwifery units that are having problems. That's why they can often be late to start clinics and shoot off early (but dorawannabe, to leave halfway through an appointment is very rude!)

To the OP - maybe view your clinic appointments as the bare essentials, and make other appointments for the extra stuff?