Still don't know who I am?

[LovingLivingLife]

My DD has been going to nursery for 9 months now. For the last 6 months she has been in her current room with up to 10 babies and 3-4 staff. My husband does most of the drop off and pick ups as it's near his office but I am there at least once a week, usually twice.

Yesterday I picked up DD from nursery and the room leader said I couldn't take daughter as she didn't know who if I am her mum, we had to wait for another member of staff to get back. I'm genuinely confused. I speak to this staff member every time I am there. It's not a massive nursery and she's only ever in this one room. I don't understand how she would not know who I am.

AIBU to say something to the centre manager? Not really a complaint as such but to flag that there's an issue? Or perhaps I am expecting too much?

Yeah I’d be a bit fucked off that she still doesn’t remember who you are, but at the same time I’d be glad that they are safeguarding your child.

If it’s any consolation the staff member probably feels a right knobhead now so is unlikely to forget you again.

Let’s rephrase this.

I am a nursery worker and a mum I didn’t recognise came to pick her child up yesterday...WIBU to check with another member of staff before letting the child go?

I think you know the answer to that.

YABU I think. Not massively but still.

I would much rather they didn’t release my child if they weren’t 100% sure it was the right person. And if you’re husband does 80-90% of the drop offs/pick ups then it’s reasonable I think. Frustrating for you, but reasonable.

Well, if she didn’t recognise you, she did the right thing checking with another member of staff.

@JoshLymanIsHotterThanSam

Let’s rephrase this.

I am a nursery worker and a mum I didn’t recognise came to pick her child up yesterday...WIBU to check with another member of staff before letting the child go?

I think you know the answer to that.

Yes I completely agree that if she doesn't remember then it's definitely best to check. Which is why I haven't phrased this as a complaint about her checking.

My issue is more that she seems to have forgotten seeing me every week for 6 months. And that every previous week she was happy to release my daughter to me. I just find it odd really.

There isn't an issue to be flagged

She didn't recognise you. Probably because you go only once a week and it's only been a few months.

She protected your daughter, that's a good thing.

At every nursery I've ever used they have askes for photo's of us (apparently for the child to look at while at nursery) and we ha e also had a passwors for whoever is picking up. This solves this issue. Quite strange that your nursery hasn't put this in place.

Maybe you looked different.

She won't forget you now will she so just get over it

Have you had your post lockdown haircut,? Maybe you really do look like a new woman

It's not always easy to recognise someone in a mask. At least you know that she takes security seriously.

@Chwaraeteg

At every nursery I've ever used they have askes for photo's of us (apparently for the child to look at while at nursery) and we ha e also had a passwors for whoever is picking up. This solves this issue. Quite strange that your nursery hasn't put this in place.

Oddly enough they actually do have this in place! I even offered to give the password but she wanted to wait...

As PP has said, my DC nursery had photos of people who were cleared to collect children.

I don't think it's unreasonable to expect key workers to build up a relationship to the extent that they know who parents/significant carers are. Staff ratios are low for very young children. But it might just have been a blip for this worker, or they are not your child's key worker or even perhaps she has cognitive issues.

Either way I think it's fine to raise it in a way to suggest changes that will help staff but not as a complaint as such.

I get it’s frustrating. My husband once went to pick our boys up from school-he was usually at work for school run times. Teacher was very unsure so my husband innocently said I’ll phone the wife, phoned me and passed me onto the teacher-I confirmed it was dad and they let our boys go.

The upshot of this story....the security conscious teacher did not stop to think that I could have been anybody on the other end of the phone! Makes me laugh and shake my head in equal measures.

If you normally speak to her each time you do pick up or drop off then I'd be a bit annoyed too. Hopefully she won't forget you again!

I am face blind and once failed to recognise a mum I saw everyday as she came back having been to the hairdresser I was very embarrassed.