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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Would you worry

44 replies

Worriedmum0000 · 21/04/2021 11:30

If your 2.4yo DC couldn’t talk? Not even one word?
I’m so worried that there may be something wrong.

OP posts:
mistermagpie · 21/04/2021 12:10

Yes I would be concerned. My 17 month old daughter can't talk but has a couple of words and lots of babbling, this is pretty standard. By 2.5 most (not all) NT children will have a few words.

My DH was pretty much mute until 4 and he's also very dyslexic as other posters have commented. He now never shuts up and is very articulate though. So this might be a factor?

I totally get your concerns about the online consultation, my DS has a stammer and has been referred to speech and language but he's 5 so I'm confident he can engage with them via computer. At 2 I wouldn't have been, but you just have to try it.

My other DS has problems with his sight and it's been hard to assess as he's not been able to do some of the tests due to him being young so I totally get it though.

But you do need to give it a try, it's worth getting the ball rolling now if support might be required down the line. I would be concerned that nursery haven't picked it up to be honest, we only really picked up on the sight issues due to nursery mentioning it. They should be on the ball here.

Whatisthisfuckery · 21/04/2021 12:15

My DS was a late talker and generally slow on his milestones but he’s fine. He’s 13 now, doing great at school, makes friends easily and is a perfectly normal teenager.

Meltedwellie · 21/04/2021 12:15

With my son, the speech therapist advised me to do a running commentary on his playing, obv not 24/7 but regularly. Might be worth trying in addition to getting some professional help.

Bluntness100 · 21/04/2021 12:18

Op does he make no words? Not even mama dada? Has his hearing been tested, are you sure he’s not lip reading?

SeaTurtles92 · 21/04/2021 12:20

I would be slightly concerned if he said nothing at all but he understands so think he'll just be a late talker.

If he has a dummy try not letting him have it until nap/bed time.

My DS is 21 months and says some things but the other day said 'hello daddy' clear as day. He hasn't said it since.

Worriedmum0000 · 21/04/2021 12:21

@Bluntness100 no, not a single word. The last hearing test he had would have been his newborn screening. I will contact my health visitor about this though, or GP. It’s worth ruling it out.

OP posts:
Worriedmum0000 · 21/04/2021 12:23

@SeaTurtles92 I can’t wait to hear him talk 🙁I have banned dummies unless for nap times and bed times

OP posts:
LadyOfLittleLeisure · 21/04/2021 12:25

@Worriedmum0000

He makes noises and points, health visitor said I may be making him lazy by responding to his noises and pointing. I feel awful, like I have done something wrong
That HV is talking absolute BS. Disgraceful. Sadly, from experience, I would expect a lot of comments like this. I still get them about my two very severely disabled children. I spent a lot of years thinking if only i tried even harder maybe they wouldn't have difficulties.

But yes, 2.4 years is quite delayed. I would request an urgent speech and language referral. You may also be eligible for Portage in your area which will help teach you games to aid communication. It might just be a delay though.

chicadelmonton · 21/04/2021 12:26

If your older child is dyslexic then perhaps it's more likely that dyslexia is delaying his speech.

DS acquired speech (including sarcasm) very quickly after about 3 and was soon very articulate.

BrumBoo · 21/04/2021 12:26

he does come to me with his water cup and bowls, he will open the fridge and make a noise if he wants a yogurt. He will point to the cupboard with his snacks in when he’s hungry. If I ask him for something he will get it. But things like colours he is not familiar with.

Do you encourage language use when he wants these things? For example 'would you like a peach or strawberry yoghurt - can you say peach?' or 'here's your milk - can you say 'thank you mummy''? And give him a second or so to try and repeat?

My eldest wouldn't speak either, though did have a language explosion before 2 and a half. I was repeating everything like a bloody parrot, pointed out every object in every storybook, played 'fetch' a lot (such as where is the ball, where are your shoes etc). I have no idea if it worked or if he was suddenly just ready to talk.

My younger one did have several words by 2, but regressed into repetitive language over the year. At 3 and a half he still speaks like a 'typical' toddler, rather than a preschooler. Will follow direct instructions but won't have a 'conversation'. The rest of his behaviour is very 'young toddler' like as well, but that's more noticeable at 3.5 than 2.5 of course. My younger one was flagged as possible ASD far quicker than the eldest, despite the older one being non-verbal for longer. It's definitely about communicative abilities and development over use of language, which I believe isn't considered severely delayed until nearing 3 in terms of ability to verbalise. I know someone who's child hasn't uttered a word at a month shy of 4, and there's still no real diagnosis or intervention (not a good thing to be honest, poor parents are tearing their hair out). The child understands every word, just won't speak.

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 21/04/2021 12:27

Health visitor should have recommended a hearing check too.
Get it checked my child had glue ear in both ears I was really surprised.
He was also very behind development wise.
I was told he could have global development delay.
Try the PEC method, once we tried that it was like a light had been switched on he started sayin words within a few weeks and it snowballed.
The speech therapist told me it would most likely work and it did, it's amazing.

I spent alot of time worrying for my boy but he's now older and extremely bright and can speak well.
They can really change and develop fast it's really amazing.
Try not to worry Flowers

5zeds · 21/04/2021 12:27

He makes noises and points, health visitor said I may be making him lazy by responding to his noises and pointing. I feel awful, like I have done something wrong this is bollocks and often trotted out by people who should know better.

One of my dc has a severe language disorder and ASD. I think your concern is totally justified. It’s encouraging that his receptive language is good. Can he follow two part instructions. Eg go get your boots and sit on the stairs.
Can he sing/hum?
Does he use any names? Eg dada/mama
Does he swallow/chew effectively?
Did he have tongue tie?
Can he copy? Not just verbally but physically?
Can he hear well?

Bluntness100 · 21/04/2021 12:28

Op if you stand behind him and he doesn’t know you’re there, and say something does he know what you’ve said?

Thisnamewasnttaken123 · 21/04/2021 12:29

Also my child couldn't even point me out in a picture at that age.
Let alone not knowing colours.
Your son sounds alot further on than my son was.
He will get there.

Illberidingshotgun · 21/04/2021 12:30

Definitely worth asking for hearing to be checked again, although does he respond to you if you are behind him or in a different room? (Not suggesting that your observations should replace a full hearing test).

As others have noted my very dyslexic DD was like this, as she grew older she did have speech but it was unintelligible to all but her brother. She also had problems eating - could only eat certain textures or very pureed food, I think, early on, she lacked the muscles and coordination for both eating and talking.

Engage with the online session, even if it is useless you can say you tried. The fact that he clearly understands and knows how to make himself understood is really good.

You may also want to start incorporating some basic makaton so that he can use that to communicate.

Worriedmum0000 · 21/04/2021 12:39

I’m off my lunch break so I’ll be back this evening, thank you for all your replies so far, they’re really helpful.
Regarding the running commentary, I have done this all of his life, I don’t stop talking Grin he must be fed up of me!

OP posts:
Yorkshirehillbilly · 21/04/2021 13:02

Look up verbal dyspraxia. Can they blow bubbles, use a straw etc
Look into signing, PECS, speech apps on your phone - none of these prevent speech and will only support it.
Teachmetotalk.com is a good website for ideas and info
lots free SLT resources on Pinterest
Hanen courses / books
Dont rely on NHS SLT its patchy even when its not online.
Afasic charity has info you may find useful
Its better to put intervention in they dont need that wait and then realise there is an issue. The HV advice is shocking.

Pepperminttea16 · 21/04/2021 13:34

The key questions to ask yourself are:
-does he have a good understanding of language?
-does he show a desire to communicate in other ways and want to form relationships with others?
-is his hearing okay?

It would be worth getting him checked out however some children really are just late talkers and if all the above is okay then he may just catch up.

In the mean time you should make sure you are talking to him as much as possible, narrate the things he is doing and verbalise his attempts to communicate, start to use some signs alongside speech.

rubyrose44 · 21/04/2021 14:27

Not an expert here, but have you tried teaching him baby sign or Makaton? My son is a lot younger but also has no spoken words, but he uses signs enthusiastically (at least for food related things!).

Agree your HV was completely unhelpful Angry

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