My partner. Together for 8/9 years. I moved in to help with his kids who lived with him. They’re late teens now so I’ve moved to the city for work reasons. I feel so much better no shouting no late nights no him drinking and getting aggressive. I suspect he’s drinking more now that I don’t live with him but I don’t think this is my problem? e.g I made a solemn statement today about the outcome of the George Floyd case on the family chat with the kids. I said no jokes now not today because he makes a joke out of everything religious sentiments, people’s relationship fall outs, disabilities everything with no prejudice. So I said please not today let’s just reflect on the sadness of this situation. He sends me a huge ranty text about how he lived in LA in black neighbourhoods etc and I’m suggesting he doesn’t get it because he’s white. I’ve never says that and we’ve NEVER had this issue- we’ve always been too comfortable with each other and I KNOW he’s not prejudiced. I do know he gets unreasonable and ranty when drunk. I was due to go see the kids this weekend as we are close but frankly I feel so at peace being out of that environment and so empowered and productive I don’t want to go near him. I don’t want to destroy their lives by stepping out but I want to say I can’t live like you anymore. Being back in our own homes isn’t far apart enough but I don’t want to hurt the kids (aged 16/17) AIBU?