Numb , no motivation , depressed

[bedtimesnacksisback]

Looking for support and some helpful tips . I am a single parent to four children. Father sees them for a few hours once a week (if that) I work full time (night shifts) I have been on test weeks and annual leave and am dreading going back on Monday.

I literally have no energy. Today the kids went back to school and I laid on the sofa in my pyjamas all day sleeping and staring at the tv. Slept more once they came home and dinner was Pizza Hut delivery. I have all their uniform to iron , I haven’t had a bath or wash since Saturday. I can barely function.

I am on sertraline and have been for many months now 150mg a day. I also take a beta blocker for the physical anxiety. At the min I am constantly going to the toilet with watery diharrheo. I just want to sleep the pain away and feel nothing.

I feel trapped overwhelmed and just exhausted. There’s no family who can help. There’s no one who can take the kids for me to have a break. Their fathers been asked many time’s since we split 3 years ago and simply won’t even when I have been recovering from surgery etc. So me telling him the extent on my situation won’t change anything.

Even typing this out is mentally exhausting .

Should also add I did a self referral online yesterday to mind and talking services in my area and waiting for a call back from them

Who looks after them while you work nights? Could they help?

Your meds can definitely be a factor here! I was taking mirtazapine and it didn't help me fall asleep (I have insomnia characterised by not being able to get to sleep) but then turned me into a zombie during the day.

It’s a mix of two local college students who I pay . I am struggling to pay the childcare (they aren’t ofstead registered and therefore cheaper) as it is. Plus they look after them in my house. My mum used to do it but finds it too much and my children don’t like being looked after my her. They play up something rotten at her house to the point where she’s asked me not to take them there anymore. I was there Saturday for her birthday and she asked us to leave very soon after arriving due to the behaviour of my two middle boys. I tried separating them. Warning them etc. Sanctions and punishments of all kinds fall on deaf ears. I am trying my best but fighting a losing battle

I have been on mirtazapine. Fab for sleep made me extremely aggressive so had to come off them. I have taken escitalopram and did for many years but it stopped working. In the past have been on venlafaxine and would never take it again due to the withdrawal brain shakes and other issues with it. Prozac did nothing.

Oh bless you that sounds incredibly hard. Can you speak to the school and ask for some help? In my area we have ‘team around the family’ which is a very light help from children’s services. Nothing scary. They can arrange for some support for you at home. Ask school, maybe there is something similar where you are?

@bedtimesnacksisback

I have been on mirtazapine. Fab for sleep made me extremely aggressive so had to come off them. I have taken escitalopram and did for many years but it stopped working. In the past have been on venlafaxine and would never take it again due to the withdrawal brain shakes and other issues with it. Prozac did nothing.

Looks like sertaline might not be working for you, either. I'd go back. You can be prescribed bupropion for refractory depression that hasn't responded or too many adverse side effects to at least 2 other meds but you need to be referred to a psychiatrist for this as otherwise it's only used for smoking cessation in the UK.

Working nights won’t be helping, especially if you can’t get adequate rest during the day. How long have you been in that job? Is there any possibility of looking for something new (I appreciate your current state may feel like a huge barrier to that, though)

Have you heard back from mental health services yet?