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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel like an online dating idiot?

26 replies

Henmania · 19/04/2021 20:29

Single mum feeling very lonely at the minute.

Set up a profile on POF (yes I knowBlush) stating that I wasn't looking for anything serious but ideally searching for a guy for regular arrangement. I was very clear about what I'm looking for.

Got a lot of replies but only one guy really stood out. We've been messaging every day for over a month and pathetically I've become really used to talking to him. Lots in common, seemed very respectful, intelligent etc.

We arranged to meet up for a walk a fortnight ago, but he then had to cancel as he said he had to work. Fair enough, shit happens. We arranged to meet today for a afternoon coffee instead. Then I get a message this morning saying he's so sorry but he has an exam today (he's in the process of a career change) He said he wasn't normally this flakey and doesn't know how he forgot! I'll admit I was really pissed off and asked him did he just want to leave it. I explained I'd gone to trouble.of arranging child care and I really need a guy who can be reliable as I haven't much spare time.

He didn't reply and now he's blocked me! I feel like an utter fool for being strung along. I've been feeling so low lately and now feel even worse. How could I have been so stupid as to invest my time like that?Sad

OP posts:
Sunshin388 · 20/04/2021 00:18

First mistake - chatting for over a month. You need to go for that coffee much sooner, before you invest too much time in it so it's not such a massive waste of time and such a dissapointment.

Second mistake - saying you want a "regular arrangement" when you actually want a bit more. It makes it seem they don't need to make any effort whatsoever and you'll just lie down with open legs for anyone tbh. Most guys don't want to jump into a serious relationship straight away, especially on POF, so keeping it casual is exactly what they would want anyway.

I've had great experiences with Tinder and met some lovely men on there, including my current DP 😀. It's important to be brutal and don't invest time and emotions into someone you haven't met.

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