AIBU?
Would it be OTT to report this?
bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 20:02
I'm a PhD student, final year. There is a male student also final year who everyone agrees is a misogynistic loser. Various comments about how rape stats are exaggerated, women just need a good seeing to etc. Everyone just rolls their eyes and does nothing. Except me - in my second year I made a harassment report when he tried to take my teaching hours off me on the grounds I have kids and it would be too 'difficult' for me to fit it in. He was 'spoken to', nothing changed.
Fast forward to today, I return to the office for the first time since before Christmas. Just me most of the day but at the beginning of the afternoon he showed up.
He then proceeded to change out of his gym kit in the office in front of me - ok he kept his shorts on but he was topless. I just ignored him.
I feel this behaviour was inappropriate and in the context of the bigger picture was possibly intended as threatening. But men stripping off to the chest is normalised in so many places - tho I don't think it should be in an office. And it is a small thing. But but but...
Would you report anything? Everyone seems to just let him get away with everything...
Am I being unreasonable?
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FOJN · 19/04/2021 20:11
Yes I would but I would make sure I knew the letter the University policy and insist they stuck to it and did not brush it under the carpet. I would not tolerate being made to feel like I was making a fuss. The changing in the office was almost certainly intended to intimidate, I would view it as twattish behaviour generally but it becomes more concerning with the background of misogynist comments.
Organise your thoughts to make sure you give his actions full context and insist they take action, this is unacceptable, sadly to common and fucking depressing in 2021.
bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 20:57
@Dddccc he definitely saw me as he greeted me beforehand. I didn't say anything because I felt he was doing it to get a reaction and I didn't want to give him one.
Without wanting to drip feed he is not British but presumably this would not be acceptable in any country/culture.
IsAnybodyListening · 19/04/2021 21:27
Yes. Report.
Your post is uncanny to an experience I had many years ago. Long story short he had undermined my work ethic at every available opportunity. He once 'cocked his leg' don't know how else to say it really? He basically put his foot ON MY DESK in his biker trousers, and proceeded to undress and change his clothes. He did a lot of other nasty shit before getting his comeuppance, but I never forgot that, it was a poignant power moment (or so he thought) getting changed in front of me. Asshole.
Report.
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