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Would it be OTT to report this?

25 replies

bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 20:02

I'm a PhD student, final year. There is a male student also final year who everyone agrees is a misogynistic loser. Various comments about how rape stats are exaggerated, women just need a good seeing to etc. Everyone just rolls their eyes and does nothing. Except me - in my second year I made a harassment report when he tried to take my teaching hours off me on the grounds I have kids and it would be too 'difficult' for me to fit it in. He was 'spoken to', nothing changed.

Fast forward to today, I return to the office for the first time since before Christmas. Just me most of the day but at the beginning of the afternoon he showed up.

He then proceeded to change out of his gym kit in the office in front of me - ok he kept his shorts on but he was topless. I just ignored him.

I feel this behaviour was inappropriate and in the context of the bigger picture was possibly intended as threatening. But men stripping off to the chest is normalised in so many places - tho I don't think it should be in an office. And it is a small thing. But but but...

Would you report anything? Everyone seems to just let him get away with everything...

OP posts:

Am I being unreasonable?


You have one vote. All votes are anonymous.

bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 20:03

To clarify, I mean report using the university process, not to the police.

OP posts:

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 19/04/2021 20:04

Yes I would report it. Sounds like deliberate breach of boundaries to intimidate you.


Amammai · 19/04/2021 20:06

It made you feel uncomfortable and there was no need for him to do it. Report it.


AnotherCupOfTeaVicar · 19/04/2021 20:06

Yes, I would, totally inappropriate


Mrgrinch · 19/04/2021 20:07

I'd definitely report him stripping off in the office, that's totally unacceptable.


NoGoodPunsLeft · 19/04/2021 20:09

Yes I would, it's so inappropriate even if he wasn't a complete tool


bloodyhell19 · 19/04/2021 20:09

Yes absolutely report. There are several other more appropriate places to change than in front of a colleague and in a professional setting. What a creep.


Meowchickameowmeow · 19/04/2021 20:09

Men stripping off at work is definitely not normalised, he wanted to make you uncomfortable because he's a prick.
Report him.


Ericaequites · 19/04/2021 20:10

It’s horribly inappropriate. That’s what the men’s room is for.


covetingthepreciousthings · 19/04/2021 20:10

I'd report him. It would have made me feel uncomfortable too.


FOJN · 19/04/2021 20:11

Yes I would but I would make sure I knew the letter the University policy and insist they stuck to it and did not brush it under the carpet. I would not tolerate being made to feel like I was making a fuss. The changing in the office was almost certainly intended to intimidate, I would view it as twattish behaviour generally but it becomes more concerning with the background of misogynist comments.
Organise your thoughts to make sure you give his actions full context and insist they take action, this is unacceptable, sadly to common and fucking depressing in 2021.


AssassinatedBeauty · 19/04/2021 20:12

Report him definitely, it's totally inappropriate on an office. Also report him for any more comments about "women needing a good seeing to" or anything similar that he comes out with. He sounds vile, sorry you're stuck in the same office as him.


SnackSizeRaisin · 19/04/2021 20:15

Erm yes I would report. Aren't there any toilets he could have changed in? Disgusting. Hopefully the university will take it seriously. Is there a senior female who can support you (whether academic, admin or technical staff)?


CattingTime · 19/04/2021 20:35

I would absolutely report it.


Dddccc · 19/04/2021 20:47

Hmm strange one did he see you before changing his shirt as he might have though he was alone also why would you not have said something like can you not do that in front of me ect,


Mittens030869 · 19/04/2021 20:52

I would definitely report it, it’s highly inappropriate.


bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 20:57

@Dddccc he definitely saw me as he greeted me beforehand. I didn't say anything because I felt he was doing it to get a reaction and I didn't want to give him one.

Without wanting to drip feed he is not British but presumably this would not be acceptable in any country/culture.

OP posts:

BlueDahlia69 · 19/04/2021 20:59

what a Dick

Yes report him lady 🌸


bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 21:05

@SnackSizeRaisin, my supervisor would be supportive and she is also a Union rep and a feminism scholar so probably a good place to start.

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CovidSmart · 19/04/2021 21:10

Report him.
You were in an office with very few people.
So 1- he could have easily got changed somewhere else and 2- he did for attention/making you uncomfortable.

Not acceptable in any place of work.


bonfireheart · 19/04/2021 21:11

If he came from the gym, he could have got changed in the gym. Or in the toilets.


C152 · 19/04/2021 21:23

Totally unacceptable. Speak to your supervisor and report him.


IsAnybodyListening · 19/04/2021 21:27

Yes. Report.

Your post is uncanny to an experience I had many years ago. Long story short he had undermined my work ethic at every available opportunity. He once 'cocked his leg' don't know how else to say it really? He basically put his foot ON MY DESK in his biker trousers, and proceeded to undress and change his clothes. He did a lot of other nasty shit before getting his comeuppance, but I never forgot that, it was a poignant power moment (or so he thought) getting changed in front of me. Asshole.



bathsh3ba · 19/04/2021 21:36

Thanks all. I didn't know if I was over-reacting because of my history with him but I'll definitely speak to my supervisor about it.

OP posts:

SquashMinusIsShit · 29/04/2021 20:45

@bathsh3ba did you report him in the end?

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