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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Aibu - crap working schedule

26 replies

Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 19:55

I work 3 days a week but I feel as exhausted as I would if I worked 5 days. I have 3 kids 2 in school (primary) and my a nearly 2 year old. I basically work Monday, get Tuesdays and Wednesdays off and back in work Thursday and Friday. I hate this schedule but cannot be changed.

AIBU that this is a crap working week and I’m bound to feel I can’t switch off? Other mums in workplace who are part time get a better working schedule e.g. 2 of them work Monday-Wed and another gets Mondays and Fridays off so lovely long weekend.

I’m feeling I’m wrecking my time off with my baby as I’m sat here now stressing about things that happened today and how my line manager pissed me off by snapping at me about nothing in particular. As I won’t be back in work till Thursday I’m going to be thinking about this incident and it will wreck my time off with my little one tomorrow and Wednesday. My personality is that little things fester but once I see manager again she’ll be okay and I’ll stop being worried about what she said but that won’t be until Thursday! She always seems to be in a mood on Mondays! I keep checking my email to see if she’s sent any nasty responses about today. I know there won’t be but it’s such a toxic place I always worry.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 19/04/2021 19:56

You need to start letting go of work when you’re not there, I don’t think a different schedule is the issue

Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 19:59

@Shoxfordian thank you but it’s the fact that manager always says it does something and it plays on my mind until I see her next which means it cuts into my days off. I don’t know how to let it go

OP posts:
bookish83 · 19/04/2021 19:59

Personally I think its the schedule... it means you think about work in the 'break' from work. Though it is good that you have the two days off together.

Is there no way at all you can change the days? Or even book a few days a/l so just have a couple of Mondays to yourself/not in work at least?

I do sympathise. I hate middle of the week days off as personally I can't switch off as easy on them x

Shoxfordian · 19/04/2021 20:00

Yes but if she said something on a Friday then you’d just worry about it all weekend so I don’t see how your schedule is the issue

Maybe learn to shrug it off a bit, stop looking at your emails after work

Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:04

@bookish83 yes I could try that.

@Shoxfordian the incident today with manager was about me not reading Sn email that was sent out on Saturday! Funny enough I decided not to read any emails over the weekend but she picked up on it as I didn’t know something when I got in this morning.

OP posts:
Anoisagusaris · 19/04/2021 20:04

It’s you, not the schedule. You basically have 2 weekends a week - one more than full time workers! You sound as if you would worry about work regardless of your schedule.

RaiseTheBeastie · 19/04/2021 20:05

Your schedule isn't the issue. If you worked Monday to Wednesday, if something happened on a Wednesday you could just as easily stress over it from Thursday to Sunday.

You need to learn how to switch off.

Anoisagusaris · 19/04/2021 20:05

On reading your update, it’s also a manager issue.

Floweree · 19/04/2021 20:07

[quote Kitkat214]@Shoxfordian thank you but it’s the fact that manager always says it does something and it plays on my mind until I see her next which means it cuts into my days off. I don’t know how to let it go[/quote]
This would be the same whenever your days off were though, you'd still have x days between your working days. I used to work with someone who was similar, they found it helped to just jot down thoughts from the day just after logging off, and then not look at it until they were back in. It seemed to help process stuff, get it out of their system, and stopped them worrying about if they'd forget something.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 19/04/2021 20:07

I don't think your schedule is the problem either.

You need to switch off from work when you clock off and not think about it until you clock in again two days later.

Jangle33 · 19/04/2021 20:08

I don’t think it’s anything to do with your schedule. In fact it’s your manager issue and your ability to switch off.

In fact having days off in middle of week is often much better for the kids/better if any illness etc.

You need to work out how you react to things or get another job!

Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:11

Thank you all. Yes I agree it is due to my over thinking and inability to switch off. That’s a great way of looking at it by a poster who said I get 2 weekends off!

I just wish I wouldn’t let her get to me, she’s a really nasty and blunt person. Anything she says just really upsets me. I wish I could just switch off and enjoy tomorrow with my baby.

OP posts:
JayAlfredPrufrock · 19/04/2021 20:13

I think it is your schedule. It’s crap having it split like that. I agree you need to let things go, but I’m the same as you so realise how hard it is.

Ilikewinter · 19/04/2021 20:15

Id love to work those days!.
I agree you need to switch off when not in work and maybe be a bit more assertive with your manager. My response as to why I hadnt read an email on Saturday would be 'of course I havent read it, Saturday is my day off' .... as simple as that.

gabsdot45 · 19/04/2021 20:15

I work Mon, Tue and Fri and I love my schedule. I have 2 weekends a week and I don't have to be too organised for my workings days.
I'd recommend that you completely switch off on your days off and plan some nice treats for yourelf.
I have a nice routine. On Wednesday I clean and do laundry and then go for a walk or meet a friend. Thursdays I do the shopping and then read or do some crafts that I enjoy

OnlyTheHousekeeper · 19/04/2021 20:16

If it makes you feel any better I also work 3 days (WFH, Tuesday- Thursday) so the "ideal" scenario and I always check my emails over my NWDs which is sometimes awful as then I have the worry of thinking about how I am going to have to make that awkward phone call etc days in advance.

However if I don't check, then I have a sense of dred about what might be waiting for me over my long weekend.

I've always been this way. Different jobs. But I need to learn to detach and also I need a new job!!

Amammai · 19/04/2021 20:18

Try booking/planning something for your days off so you have something to look forward to with your baby. This might take your mind off work more. I know it’s hard when we’re still coming out of lockdown but it could be doing to a new park, meeting a friend for a walk , visiting the farm (now they are open!) so that it feels like a purposeful day. I’m off mid week and find this works well as I’m then too busy to check emails etc or wonder what’s happening in work.

Incywincyspinsters · 19/04/2021 20:20

Do you feel like your walking on eggshells around this manager, OP? I’ve never experienced a manager so out of control of themselves that they snap at a staff member, so if she’s arsey about you not thinking about work over your weekend, you’ll find yourself thinking about work on your days off. That’s understandable.

It sounds like she’s the problem.

Do they also expect full time commitment on part time pay?

Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:20

Thank you all for the support. Sorry for drip feeding but the incident today was basically an email got sent out over weekend about instructions for an end of week event. A colleague asked me about it and I said “I’m not sure. You know how last minute they are with information here” manager was standing right there! I know it’s my fault for not reading and I should have been more careful about what I say but I hadn’t even sat at my desk and logged in at that time.

I feel embarrassed how she pointed it out and in my defence usually are very last minute about these things.

OP posts:
BackforGood · 19/04/2021 20:29

Agree with most. The issue here isn't your working / NWD pattern.

If someone sends an e-mail on a Saturday, then it is perfectly reasonable to explain that obviously you won't have read it yet as your working week started 2 minutes earlier. It is not your fault for not having read something that was sent at the weekend. (Anyway that would be the same, today, even if you worked 5 days a week, if you think about it).

Shoxfordian · 19/04/2021 20:43

All you needed to say was you hadn’t read your emails yet; you were in trouble because you said they were all last minute and your manager heard Hmm

Is this why you end up stressing over your job?

Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:46

@Shoxfordian no today’s incident was a one off! Grin I am very careful what I say in work. It’s not just me the manager is always having a go at people abs shouting. Yes fair enough what I said was not good that’s why I’m extra stressing but usually it’s not due to what I say. Sometimes she’s lovely other times you good morning and she scowls at you and ignore you.

OP posts:
Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:46

*and

OP posts:
Original poster
Kitkat214 · 19/04/2021 20:49

I change that sometimes to actually very very occasionally she is nice. But I just need to keep reminding myself she’s short with a lot of people. I overheard another colleague say they don’t think the manager likes them! I feel the same.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 19/04/2021 21:04

She does sound difficult
Have a look around for new jobs