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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I overreacting regarding DDs nursery?

28 replies

Pebbledashery · 19/04/2021 16:31

I'm a single parent, and I'm very laid back and easy going and get on well with most people. My daughter goes to a lovely nursery and has settled really well.
During the last lock down restrictions, nursery was still operational but were calling parents a lot more to do verbal handovers or to notify of anything that may be embarrassing to hear in the queue. The past week I have received 6 calls to say DD has hurt herself, I was really cross on Friday and projected that during the call with DDs key worker.. They called me to let me know DD has a cut on her scalp that was split open and blood was coming out.. When I asked how she got this injury they couldn't tell me how. They asked me to collect her early as she might need stitches.. Thankfully she didn't, but I quite directly said I didn't accept that they didn't know how she got the cut, when I collected DD and examined her cut, the minute I touched the area she cried so obviously she was in pain.
Now today I've received a call to say she's got a cut on her face and can I come and collect her.
I fully appreciate that she is at an age where she is going to sustain injuries but I'm worried she's not being supervised enough.. I know and do not expect 1:1 supervision, the nursery is fantastic in all other respects. I appreciate the request to pick her up early is because she may need medical treatment, but I'm worried about DD and not sure how to raise this to the nursery manager. I want to write an email but not sure what to say because it's not sitting well with me.
I also am starting a new job in a few weeks with a 6 month probation period, it is office based and I can't be taking multiple calls a day from Nursery.
Could someone offer me any advice on how to broach the subject with them without coming across as unreasonable?

OP posts:

moita · 19/04/2021 16:37

how old is she? that many injuries is awful. I'd be looking for alternative childcare. They can't be paying attention if they don't know what happened.

Hm2020 · 19/04/2021 16:38

You don’t say how old Dd is it will help with answers you get to wether that is a normal amount of accidents for that age?

Original poster

Pebbledashery · 19/04/2021 16:39

She's 2.5 now. I'm worried about the fact she's not being supervised closely enough.. Not her individually as such but the group of children she's with. I'm friendly with one of the other nursery mums and she said her daughter had finger nail scratches all down her tummy that she wasn't aware of until she got home and the staff didn't say anything..
The whole thing is worrying me.

OP posts:

SmednotaSmoo · 19/04/2021 16:42

I have a 2.5 year old.

If the member of staff couldn’t tell me how she got an injury which might require medical attention, I’d be expecting a phone call from the manager. Accidents happen, and sometimes out of sight, but not that regularly. You ask to speak to the manager and for them to explain what has happened to you.

bubblebath62636 · 19/04/2021 16:43

You are definitely not over-reacting op, are there other nurseries nearby?

That many injuries in such a short time is shocking, and to say they don't know how they occured it worse. They are either lying or not watching the children enough to care.

Hope your DD's ok she's so little

Lettuceforlunch · 19/04/2021 16:54

That’s appalling. I’d also want to see the paperwork associated with each incident. There should be an accident form filled in for each one. Ask for copies!

user1471523870 · 19/04/2021 16:59

I also have a 2.5 year old little boy and I consider myself quite relaxed as a mum. However, I wouldn't be happy with the amount of injuries and lack of responses on the why they happened.
If anything happens to my son I normally get a phone call, a detailed explanation of what happened, I have to sign a log and the manager follows up immediately. But it's very rare he gets injured (I get many other calls about other health related little issues, or if he's developing a cold etc).
As you, I would come to the conclusion they are not watching them well...

ColinSupporter · 19/04/2021 17:04

Six injuries in a week? Either they are hugely overreacting to every tiny thing or they’re not properly looking after her. Every child trips, every child bumps their head, I even accept they don’t necessarily see every injury happen, but that level of injury is ridiculous.

Have you had an accident form each time? I’d start with asking the manger for a meeting to review the paperwork as you’re concerned. I used to help on a preschool committee and I’d expect our manager to have been all over that level of accidents - thinking about supervision, activities, placement of furniture, was there a piece of equipment that was causing a problem....

Lolapusht · 19/04/2021 17:05

I think you definitely need to ask for more information about these incidents and ask them to tell you the circumstances around each incident. As a pp said, there should be accidents forms for each of them. My two are 5 and have been in an education setting since they were about 2. In all that time, I’d be lucky to have had 6 incidents that needed forms and that includes at school. We’ve had a couple of missed skinned knees etc but that’s been at school where there is less supervision. Oh, and they went to forest school so lots of tree climbing, woodworking, fire building, playing with logs/tyres etc ie lots of potentially injury causing activities.

I’d also be concerned about the type of injuries she’s getting as they don’t sound like “normal” 2.5 year old falling over types. If they fall over then it tends to be knees, elbows, heel of hands, foreheads that get grazed/cut/bruised. More unusual (but not impossible) to have self-inflicted scalp or face cuts. Has she been able to tell you anything about the injuries? The finger nail scratches sound 🤔. Of course young children will injure each other, but add that to what you’ve said and I’d be concerned they aren’t doing enough basic care.

PumpkinPie2016 · 19/04/2021 17:06

YANBU.

If it was a one off then I might be inclined to let it go but that many injuries unexplained would concern me.

I would raise this with the nursery manager. Explain that while you accept accidents happen, the number of injuries and lack of explanations is concerning and you would like to know what is happening and how they are going to ensure that she doesn't keep getting injured.

2bazookas · 19/04/2021 17:08

Bumps/trips resulting in bruises or grazes are pretty normal for active toddlers .

But unexplained cuts are much less common; I would certainly press nursery HARD to explain them . Which room /area of the nursery was she in when she was cut (twice) at head level; what activity was she taking part in or which toy was she playing with, which other children were around her, which member of staff was present.

FluffMagnet · 19/04/2021 17:11

I would certainly be expected by my nursery to be able to explain such an injury if it occurred at home, so I would expect them to explain it to me too. You can be polite but very firm to the nursery manager, and keep revisiting the question of how it happened. Perhaps no one did see, but she would have surely screeched and therefore they'll know where she was, who and what was nearby, and take a blooming good educated guess as to what happened. If not, why not? If they thought she needed medical attention, they need to give you the information to relay to the doctors. If the manager doesn't have the information to hand, confirm you'll ring back tomorrow once she has had a chance to investigate. You can keep it nice and light without being fobbed off. Hopefully the manager will kick that room into shape, as something is not happening as it should.

lanthanum · 19/04/2021 17:14

Supervision should be 1:4, and you'd expect that even if they don't know exactly how something happens, they should be able to tell you something about how it came to their notice and what area she was in at the time.

As far as calls go in your new job, I think you need to ask them to distinguish between emergency and "handover" calls, and ask that they only interrupt you at work with emergency ones. You could either ask them to make the non-emergency ones at specific times, or ask them to use your office number for emergencies and turn off your mobile whilst working. (As a teacher, I found it was actually better if the "please come and pick up your child" message went to the school office, so that they could be organising someone to cover for me whilst sending someone to let me know!)

Blondeshavemorefun · 19/04/2021 17:15

I seem to sign the accident boom most weeks

But usually something silly and minor. But they have to tell me and I sign

Grazed knee. Fell over

Bumped head. Bumped on climbing frame

Etc

But they can always tell me how it happened

To have a huge bleeding gash is awful and neglect that they can’t tell you how

BrumBoo · 19/04/2021 17:17

I'm in a similar situation with a reception aged child (though questionable mobility with sensory issues). Every week there's been an accident form, until I started questioning it. Now there are no accident forms but still bashes that definitely should have been recorded. He came home with a leg graze/bump before Easter that's still fading, when I emailed the school about lack of communication they basically said 'not every accident can be accounted for'. If I sent him in the way they send him home, I would have had safeguarding questions by now!

I'm looking at other schools, it's simply not good enough in my opinion.

PinkCookie11 · 19/04/2021 17:22

Your poor little girl!

Write an email or ask for a meeting with manager, suppose whichever your more comfortable with.
Ask for accident forms, where was her staff,
As your parents around for them to take calls whilst your in your new job?

Sleepisoverrated150 · 19/04/2021 17:43

Yanbu, definitely speak to the manager and ask for a copy if the accident reports.

If she doesn’t have any accidents at home and isn’t clumsy / it’s out of character then yes I think it needs reviewing.

Formal written communication is the first step.

DarcyLewis · 19/04/2021 17:47

If you don’t feel confident that your child is 100% safe, then you have to move them.
Safe is the absolute basic.

lunar1 · 19/04/2021 17:51

I wouldn't be happy at the lack of supervision. It's not like they are even telling you what she was doing immediately prior, just that they don't know. I wouldn't be able to trust them at all at this point and I was always relaxed about nursery related injuries.

Jumpers268 · 19/04/2021 18:00

Aren't they supposed to be giving you a copy of the accident form? That's what my son's nursery did, and his school (he's 6) email me a copy. He's a clumsy child but we've never had cut on his head or face. Never mind one that they couldn't explain. I'd be furious.

The first step is to ask for a copy of all the accident forms. Depending on what they say I'd be looking at a different nursery and withdrawing her if you can.

FelicityPike · 19/04/2021 18:03

If in Scotland, phone the Care Inspectorate!

switchandswatch · 19/04/2021 18:47

As pp have said, there should be accident forms for all of these, and at my nursery I have to sign them as well. Also, like someone else said, even if staff didn’t witness it, they should be able to make an educated guess based on where in the room she is. At 2.5 is she not verbal enough to explain what happened? Even to staff in the moment?
I would be concerned.

Original poster

Pebbledashery · 19/04/2021 18:56

@lunar1

This is exactly how I feel. I've always been understanding but now they can't explain what the nature of what caused the serious injury was, I'm really, really concerned.

OP posts:

GrumpyHoonMain · 19/04/2021 19:01

DS has had many cuts and injuries but the nursery can tell me exactly how and why he got them, and if they think it needs stiches they raise an accident report and offer to take him to A&E if we can’t get there on time.

In your position I would be complaining, and finding another nursery

SnackSizeRaisin · 19/04/2021 19:29

Surely your daughter would have been lying where she fell when she started crying? Hard to believe they can't work it out even if no one was actually watching. At that age they should be constantly supervised.
You'd also think they'd be extra careful after the first injury.
I would want to know how many staff were present when it happened, who they were, how many children were there, did it happen indoors or out, what toys or equipment were being used at the time. These are basic things and any reluctance to answer would make me suspicious of a cover up.
We had an accident form last week for an injury and the staff member was very apologetic that she didn't know how it happened, she hadn't seen a fall etc... The injury happened the previous day at home.

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