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To think check before you start a feud

14 replies

ImNotThatPathetic · 19/04/2021 14:13

Bit of a silly one. There's a huge family nearby who have started scowling at my husband and I, driving by and making comments, making us feel very uncomfortable and today, a lovely young lady stood watching us drive by whilst giving us the finger. I didn't have a clue why.
So, after mentioning the weirdness to a friend I found out that it's common knowledge that the family and others believe DH and I have been grassing people (ie them) up for Covid parties. But the thing is, we haven't. We've not even been tempted to. Ever, no matter how much of a prat I think covid party goers are.
Now I'll freely admit that, like the rest of the town, I'm not above having a discreet nosy out of my window when somethings going on with the police on my street but their house is streets away from us and I was unaware they've even had parties.
Now one family thinking this way I could shrug off, but they're not small in our tiny town. I also heard that my own neighbours believe I've grassed them up too. I don't know how or why it started but how would you deal with this? WIBU to just pull the mother up and try and tell her? Why would I be believed? I'm worried about my kids, my car and my house now!

OP posts:

Roszie · 19/04/2021 14:16

I would go and knock and tell them you've no idea who snitched but it wasn't you.


EscapeDragon · 19/04/2021 14:19

Report it to your local PCSO now in case things escalate.

I'd also write a note and put it through their letterbox saying that there appears to be a huge misunderstanding, you have never reported them or anyone else. You have no idea why people are saying things about you or who started the rumours, and the rumours are completely untrue. Whoever it was who reported them, it certainly wasn't you.


Cosmos45 · 19/04/2021 14:25

I would go round there and tell them it wasn't you. I had similar - a neighbour (tosser) set off the mother of all firework displays a few years back in a field that did not belong to him and did not warn anyone. The village went mental because there were horses and livestock out in fields terrified and galloping around. Some local landowner thought it was me.. I had a very rude letter delivered to my house. I went straight round there with the letter and politely (ish) explained that it was not me.. I couldn't stand to be judged for something I hadn't done!


skirk64 · 19/04/2021 14:42

Have it out with them. It's will only escalate otherwise. Whoever decided that it was you reporting them is probably the one who actually did it.


Mycomfyplacetochill · 19/04/2021 14:50

Problem is with going round there is even if you get chance to speak before they let leash on a tirade of abuse is they will not believe you

I'd be more interested in finding who really grassed them up


ImNotThatPathetic · 19/04/2021 16:38

I bit the bullet and went round. I said to them that I've been told they believe I've reported them for something.
They said "Well you did" and told me how they were told by someone and they won't say who. I said I understand why they won't say but whoever it is is talking shite and I haven't ever reported a single person for anything. They said I've also reported most people on my own street. Again, I could only deny, because it's not something I've ever done at all. All I could do was tell them that someone's spreading shit and I swear I've had nothing to do with it.

The thing I'm not thinking about is, if I had reported anyone, how on Earth would anyone know about it to tell them?? Either I would be telling people who I assume believe I have reported them before (so clearly not friends or people I would confide in) or, well, I don't even bloody know!! The whole thing doesn't make sense. None of it has anything to do with me.

It's so frustrating.

I guess I'm the town snitch Angry

They did say that it'll come out in court so hopefully it actually does and it's not an anonymous reporting kind of thing. Not holding out much hope for that though.

OP posts:

LolaButt · 19/04/2021 19:00

Either they don’t know who it is and they’ve guessed it’s you, then started spreading rumours about the other neighbours or...

The person that told them it was you, blamed you because it was secretly them.


Sorka · 19/04/2021 19:10

The person who told them it was you is the person who reported them trying to deflect blame.

I hope you have a ring doorbell so you can keep an eye on whether people are coming to your property. I don’t mean to scare you, but if people are that organised and aggressive I’d be worried.

I’m willing to bet that they’ve flouted lockdown throughout, probably had noisy parties that have irritated the neighbours who (deservedly) reported them but now they’re scared of retaliation.


ImNotThatPathetic · 19/04/2021 20:19

Thanks @Sorka I've got cctv and I'm doubting it'll escalate (I hope). They're not exactly what I'd call big party people either. There's always loads of people round their huge garden and I've never batted an eye as most are kids and it's just normal to see. There have been far more houses with actual big indoors parties with drinking and loud music you couldn't miss knowing about and as the police do regular patrols round our roads (according to my CCTV getting triggered by patrol cars all the damn time!) I would be highly surprised if anyone needed to report people as the police can see it for themselves.

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ImNotThatPathetic · 20/04/2021 08:42

Had a bloody awful night's sleep. I'm now realising I'm not actually mad about the family believing I am a snitch but really fucking angry at the people who have decided to point the finger at me an declare it fact! And the more I look in to it, the more I'm told it's multiple people saying it. Presumably it started a long time ago when the police kept visiting my non-direct neighbours and people just assumed it was me, and the more people saying it, the closer it has become "Oh yeah, ImNot always does it. She did it to xx and xx ya know..."

Well no I fucking didn't. Yeah I won't say I wasn't thinking Covididiots ignoring lockdowns are dickheads, especially when I didn't get to see my dying dad thanks to further lockdown restrictions caused by local spikes, I still didn't act on it.

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ImNotThatPathetic · 21/04/2021 10:23

Aaaaand now I've heard more about me on the school run. Eff this shit. I need to speak to the one person I'm actually feeling sad about that she thinks I reported her (before this big family got reported)
I always thought we were alright. We chat often in the street and our kids go to school together. I don't know if she's been saying to people it was me or if it's others saying I reported her and using that as evidence I'm a grass.

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Georgieporgie29 · 21/04/2021 10:33

Ah that’s rubbish.
Could you report it to the non emergency number and ask them to confirm it wasn’t you? I really hope you don’t get any backlash from this Flowers


ImNotThatPathetic · 21/04/2021 10:44

I don't know if I can. I have no idea how the reporting process works so it might be anonymous?

I do know that of course I can't find out who really did it (if someone even did and it wasn't the result of the numerous police patrols) but I don't know if I can get some sort of police statement to say I definitely did not.

This is horrible!

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ImNotThatPathetic · 21/04/2021 10:48

Also, it''s shitty if the people who are mentioning the person's name (the school mum I supposedly reported early on) and it isn't her who's saying stuff about me but she's only being used as an example of one of the apparent many I have reported. It means she's being brought into this too, even if it's as a victim not the bad guy in this.

OP posts:
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